Relationships??? - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Chance · 09-25-2005, 06:53 PM

Hey everyone I have a question when do you know if you have found someone I mean I met someone and I know that we are connected I can feel it and we have a lot in common, it is like we know what each other is going to say before we say it I really like her and I know that she likes me but we really don't know each other at all yet it seems like we have known each other for years already. I think that this is my soul mate I just would like imput OK thanks

Love Vic

Irish Virus · 09-25-2005, 07:45 PM

I've heard never ask a drunk or drug addict for advice on relationships. I don't know if this is the truth or just AA mantra. I've also heard it suggested that you keep it in your pants for at least a year when you start recovery.

If you want some advice from a drunk, give it some time before you get all wrapped up in this "soul mate" stuff. I thought I found my soul mate a few times too until I woke up the next morning. You got a school boy crush on the girl which is great.
Go out and show her a good time, but keep things in perspective.

Chance · 09-26-2005, 06:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Irish Virus

You got a school boy crush on the girl which is great.
Go out and show her a good time, but keep things in perspective.

This could be true but I don't know and that is OK. I am going to see if anyone else replies to this but I know that my program is first regardless, that is just the way that it is. Thank you for your reply.

Love Vic

chris k · 09-26-2005, 10:56 PM

If you go for it , remember Easy Does It. Be honest with yourself and her.

Gooch · 09-26-2005, 11:54 PM

Quote:

I really like her and I know that she likes me but we really don't know each other at all yet

Quote:

know that my program is first regardless, that is just the way that it is.

I think you allready know your own truth right there Vic.

Its so very easy to transfer our dependance on drugs to a person that relationships can very distracting and even hazardous to our recovery .... if we are not constantly vigilant.

Take your time becoming friends and the rest will take care of itself.

Chance · 09-27-2005, 12:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chris k

If you go for it , remember Easy Does It. Be honest with yourself and her.

Thanks Chris and I am going to go easy and Honesty is the only way and I strive for that everyday.

Quote:

Gooch:
I think you allready know your own truth right there Vic

Yep the truth is my friend is that if I don't have my sobriety I will have nothing and I am not risking that today.

Quote:

Take your time becoming friends and the rest will take care of itself

Yeah that is it OMG the answer just slaps you in the face huh.

Thanks for all of your replies I don't know what I would do with out you and you know what I am kinda liking the mens room here, LMAO that is the first.

Love Vic

utopia · 09-27-2005, 02:42 AM

first, congrats on making a connection with another human being, a rare and wonderful thing.

i think easy does it and little by little are good slogans here. in new relationships ive learnt that its important to take time to breathe and feel and go slowly before i burn it out in one swift move. and to slwoly reveal about me, not tell my whole life story and then have sex steight away. give it time.

ultimately go with what feels right to do, i dont think you should feel panicky or amiss of something but of course i always get a little bit nervous around new people sometimes. enjoy this wonderful gift thats been sent to you and amen to ya for putting yourself and your recovery before your relationships. with your program, life and relationships have a hope of ebing maintained. goodluck and blessings.

Chance · 09-30-2005, 10:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by utopia

first, congrats on making a connection with another human being, a rare and wonderful thing.

. enjoy this wonderful gift thats been sent to you and amen to ya for putting yourself and your recovery before your relationships. with your program, life and relationships have a hope of ebing maintained. goodluck and blessings.

Yes it is a wonderful connection and not only with ourselves but with God, He is first in my life and my program, and that is the same with her and I think that this is why it is so so wonderful. And this is nothing that I have done this is truly a gift from God.

Love Vic

10-01-2005, 07:32 AM

A lot of good experience here Vic, I can't add to it without repeating something. It'll grow if it's supposed too, just try to keep on top of your recovery, and go with the flow.

And cool avatar BTW.

Chance · 10-01-2005, 11:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Doug

A lot of good experience here Vic, I can't add to it without repeating something. It'll grow if it's supposed too, just try to keep on top of your recovery, and go with the flow.

And cool avatar BTW.

OMG Doug that is what we said last night when we were talking just to go with the flow, that is what I am saying that all this is just, well I just don't have the words for it. And thank you for last night and all that you did and Chy BTW wingsfree gave me my avatar isn't Lucky beautiful.

Love Vic

Time2Surrender · 10-02-2005, 10:21 PM

This is so familiar.I have had more soul-mates than I can count.So many women I was convinced,"she's the one".Just take it easy.A heart-break can very easily become a relapse.And maybe I have no room to talk.I am just shy of 6 months clean.I swore no relationships for the first year or even longer.Well,so much for that one.I'm pretty much in the same boat as you Vic.I been seeing someone for about 3 weeks and things have moved very fast.I was not looking to meet anyone.It just happened.I still attend my meetings daily,and I do realize I must stay focused.I hope you do the same.

Chance · 10-03-2005, 05:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Time2Surrender

Vic.I been seeing someone for about 3 weeks and things have moved very fast.I was not looking to meet anyone.It just happened.I still attend my meetings daily,and I do realize I must stay focused.I hope you do the same.

Thank you for what you said and mine is going on two weeks now and she is not even from here we are going to meet this weekend and I am excited about that, and yes it seems to be moving really fast. One thing that I do know is that we each love God and that we know also that our Program is first in our lives, we know that if we put something ahead of our Program that we won't have each other and if we are lucky we will stay clean. So I am happy today for another blessing that God has given me.

Love Vic

roadie58 · 10-13-2005, 04:18 AM

Vic, could I ask how much sobriety you each have? Around here, they recommend that both partners have at least a year or don't even think about it. Emotional entanglements can easily lead to relapse. I know in my case, I had a friend who was a young lady, (not in program, not A or DA). Anyway, we just hung out, did movies, normal friend stuff. She started dating someone else and jealousy reared it's ugly head even though we weren't an item.

BE CAREFUL HERE....slippery slope ahead....

Time2Surrender · 10-25-2005, 02:08 AM

I'm really in a bad spot now.I been dating a woman a couple months.She lied and told me she was pregnant.Her life is totally unmanagable,I'm not happy and to top it off I have now met someone else.I have remained faithful and will continue to remain faithful until I find the courage to tell her it's over.When I end this relationship I have no doubt this woman will be devasted.I feel guilty.But I need to think about my own happiness.

09-25-2005, 06:53 PM	#1 (permalink)
Chance JUST DO IT!! Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Here Or There Posts: 7,398 Blog Entries: 10	Relationships??? Hey everyone I have a question when do you know if you have found someone I mean I met someone and I know that we are connected I can feel it and we have a lot in common, it is like we know what each other is going to say before we say it I really like her and I know that she likes me but we really don't know each other at all yet it seems like we have known each other for years already. I think that this is my soul mate I just would like imput OK thanks Love Vic __________________ With Love and Respect Vic With God and A Little Luck We won't have to use today

09-26-2005, 10:56 PM	#4 (permalink)
chris k Member Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Mesquite TX Posts: 244	If you go for it , remember Easy Does It. Be honest with yourself and her. __________________ 2007 Deep Cobalt Pearl FLHTCU

09-27-2005, 02:42 AM	#7 (permalink)
utopia Member Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Australia Posts: 712	first, congrats on making a connection with another human being, a rare and wonderful thing. i think easy does it and little by little are good slogans here. in new relationships ive learnt that its important to take time to breathe and feel and go slowly before i burn it out in one swift move. and to slwoly reveal about me, not tell my whole life story and then have sex steight away. give it time. ultimately go with what feels right to do, i dont think you should feel panicky or amiss of something but of course i always get a little bit nervous around new people sometimes. enjoy this wonderful gift thats been sent to you and amen to ya for putting yourself and your recovery before your relationships. with your program, life and relationships have a hope of ebing maintained. goodluck and blessings. __________________

10-13-2005, 04:18 AM	#13 (permalink)
roadie58 "The BAND" workshop ROCKS! Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Indianapolis, Indiana Posts: 1,503	Vic, could I ask how much sobriety you each have? Around here, they recommend that both partners have at least a year or don't even think about it. Emotional entanglements can easily lead to relapse. I know in my case, I had a friend who was a young lady, (not in program, not A or DA). Anyway, we just hung out, did movies, normal friend stuff. She started dating someone else and jealousy reared it's ugly head even though we weren't an item. BE CAREFUL HERE....slippery slope ahead.... __________________ Roadie - frigging TWO YEARS clean and sober, if I can do it, you can do it! read about my adventures staying clean in sober in 'I'm ALIVE V2' in the Substance Abuse Forum..

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09-25-2005, 07:45 PM	#2 (permalink)
Irish Virus Member Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Charlotte,NC Posts: 168	I've heard never ask a drunk or drug addict for advice on relationships. I don't know if this is the truth or just AA mantra. I've also heard it suggested that you keep it in your pants for at least a year when you start recovery. If you want some advice from a drunk, give it some time before you get all wrapped up in this "soul mate" stuff. I thought I found my soul mate a few times too until I woke up the next morning. You got a school boy crush on the girl which is great. Go out and show her a good time, but keep things in perspective.

10-01-2005, 07:32 AM	#9 (permalink)
Doug Guest Posts: n/a	A lot of good experience here Vic, I can't add to it without repeating something. It'll grow if it's supposed too, just try to keep on top of your recovery, and go with the flow. And cool avatar BTW.

10-02-2005, 10:21 PM	#11 (permalink)
Time2Surrender Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Washington State Posts: 7,263 Blog Entries: 7	This is so familiar.I have had more soul-mates than I can count.So many women I was convinced,"she's the one".Just take it easy.A heart-break can very easily become a relapse.And maybe I have no room to talk.I am just shy of 6 months clean.I swore no relationships for the first year or even longer.Well,so much for that one.I'm pretty much in the same boat as you Vic.I been seeing someone for about 3 weeks and things have moved very fast.I was not looking to meet anyone.It just happened.I still attend my meetings daily,and I do realize I must stay focused.I hope you do the same.

10-25-2005, 02:08 AM	#14 (permalink)
Time2Surrender Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Washington State Posts: 7,263 Blog Entries: 7	I'm really in a bad spot now.I been dating a woman a couple months.She lied and told me she was pregnant.Her life is totally unmanagable,I'm not happy and to top it off I have now met someone else.I have remained faithful and will continue to remain faithful until I find the courage to tell her it's over.When I end this relationship I have no doubt this woman will be devasted.I feel guilty.But I need to think about my own happiness.

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