Pornography

[utopia]

now this may be a touchy subject for some but i want to hear some opions or views on porn, why we watch it or not, why we like it, why we dont like it. is it a substitute for sex, substitute for love,a way to calm the physical urges. recovery is body mind and soul for me. whilst my mind and soul are in a tug of war with my body over the lack of sexual intimacy in my life enter porn, enter romance novels, enter chocolate cake. are these addictions or crutches?

my therapist called anything that alters your mood an addiction. i dont know about that, i think an addiction is something that you use to make you feel better, usually to numb how you feel deep deep down. or is it just a crutch.

[best]

Crutches can become addictions.
Addictions can be a crutch as well. An escape.
Watching porn for many people can become a problem. It can be progressive in nature, same as any other addictive substance. I would say, anything that alters or affects our mood or emotions would be progressive. As in all things, we need to locate the root of why we do things and work from that point if correction is warranted or wanted.

For me it was another way to escape, to keep from having to look at the real problem(s). Why do other people look at it? I don't know. I've noticed it goes hand in hand with active addiction, and thats how it was for me as well. Once I started recovery, it fell by the way side, hasn't been back since.

If there's a cross-addiction involved, it can definitely be problematic. Trying to break years of learned/associated behaviors would probably require de-programming through hypnosis and psychotherapy.

Sexual fantasies are quite healthy, HOWEVER;

If the viewer begins actively pursuing those fantasies to materialization, it may develop into a problem. Taboo fantasies (ie; forbidden sex practices) in particular, may intensify and further complicate that potential problem.

In the forty-odd years since the first printing of Masters & Johnson's landmark text, Human Sexuality, our sexual morés have changed considerably. Certain practices which used to be considered perverse and abnormal (such as pornography and homosexuality) are now more freely accepted as normal sexual behaviors.

The key factor though, depends solely on the manner of how the viewer uses pornography, to evaluate acceptable and expected usage like visual and sexual stimulation versus forbidden usage to either commit or augment a criminal act.

[ed. note: I received a Known Sex Offender Notification in my postal mail today. I nearly jumped out of my own skin. I'm familiar with 'reverse sting' tactics that are employed by law enforcement agencies, where they send the suspect a post-card asking them to visit the police station for various unassuming reasons. Claiming Lottery prize winnings almost always entices them. Oh, about the post-card I received--it was a public notice indicating the whereabouts of this one sex offender since he was recently convicted and released. He is serving a lifetime probation, nolo contendre.]


Original material. All Rights Reserved, 2005. Barry L. Harper

Personally, I enjoy the visceral appeal and the basic entertainment value of pornography. Since I have no other means of sexual outlets (God I love that phrase), pornography is simply the catalyst that helps relieve the ''bottled-up'' sexual tension. I'm staunchly Utilitarian in this regard. It serves a purpose, but in no way is it a substitute for sexual intercourse, intimacy, or love.

[ed. note: I didn't mean to get this verbose, really. Thanks for reading.]

[Millwallj]

I can understand its allure - and its powerful stuff.

But personally I think it can mess your head up. Women are just not really like how they are portrayed.

I say, if you want sex, then build up the character to go and get some! Fantasy is not really a life sustaining activity.

I think it can make men think of women in narrow terms.Those images become part of our minds afterall.
I have used it, but I dont now.

Sex is often confused with love, no?

[Dan]

Pornography...
Dunno.

They say the rate of violent rape in Japan is practically non existant because of the high porn consumption in that country. Might also be noted that japanese women appear to be more subservient than in western societies. But that's probably a cultural thing...

I have a problem with porn. But I have trouble actualizing it in today's age. Porn seems to have cleaned itself up along with its growth on the Internet. It's almost hard to visualize he fourteen year old fluffer, who's sole purpose was to keep the stud at attention between scenes. In turn, she was usually kept happy with doses of whatever drug she was introduced to when she was found and offered a job in the entertainment business.

I hesitate to use the words bottom line, most of the time.
Pornography is as far removed from the art of eroticism as can be.
Pornography exploits human beings, human desires, and the human condition.

[ChrisMan]

The reason I came to SR was because of sexual addiction. This included addiction to porn. I have a feeling that a huge percentage of porn industry profits come from addicts like myself, because we can spend huge amounts of money on porn.

Obviously, porn for me is part of my addiction, and so is off limits. I feel much better getting away from it now.

[D72992]

Originally Posted by Doug

I've noticed it goes hand in hand with active addiction

A moment of silence before I ...... LMFAO!!!!

That was priceless, not just the unintentional pun,but the truth behind it as well. Addiction is defined very simply as obsession and compulsion, so the question is, at what point does it make my life un-managable.

[best]

Originally Posted by D72992

at what point does it make my life un-managable.

Tennis elbow or blindness

If it interferes with your career. or, if it interferes with your interpersonal relationships. Or, if the left hand doesn't know what the right hand is doing--and lies about it--you may have a problem on your hands.

Somebody here said something right. The ladies have started the same kind of thread.

[Dan]

Originally Posted by Doug

Somebody here said something right. The ladies have started the same kind of thread.

I wouldn't know. I never look up there

[Dan]

My worst time with pornography was when I was a daily cocaine user.
The sexual fantasies I would generate in my drug filled imagination...
Didn't have the internet back then.
One day, I looked at the stack of magazines in my closet. I couldn't believe it...
When I quit cocaine, the compulsion to look at pornography went away, much like Doug said.
It was a strange time.

When my DOC was coke, porn was always involved too. Coke makes you feel like Superman right? (the first couple times anyway). Feels like we can do anything....

[Dan]

Originally Posted by Doug

Feels like we can do anything....

I call it the nuclear missile condition...

[Irish Virus]

The reason why men watch porn on the boob tube is pretty simple to me. It's to check out some T & A frolicking around getting banged like a screen door. It sure isn't for the plot.

[Sweepdaddy]

Let me tell you how porn can affect your relationships. I believ that if you ejaculate 9 out of ten times to some unrealistic image of sexuality, it will affect that tenth time with your loved one. I has to. I has a great woman, great lover, but she left me b/c she said I did not respect her in bed. Just the way I acted when we had sex made her feel like an object. You don't think that day after day of seeing chicks get treated like rags and loving it, helped? Self control is key. Maybe looking at porn to help relieve sexual tention is ok, but if you find yourself dong it HABITUALLY, i.e., every time your wife or girlfriend leaves the house or falls asleep, do not think for a moment that it is not affecting your relationship.

[nogard]

Since I have been sober, I have not been interested in porn even though I have been on my own for years, now the real thing well ......


nogard

[utopia]

maybe its like all those substances, ok for some, addiction for others?

ive noticed in recovery i used to have strong tastes for sadomasochistic lust versus extreme romanticism and now im somewhere in the middle for snuggles and meaningful conversation. mostly.

[nogard]

Snuggles sounds great (said with a deep voice and a straight back)

nogard

[Dan]

Today's Touchstones meditation...

Sexuality expresses God's intention that people find authentic humanness not in isolation but in relationship.
--James B. Nelson

We men have regarded our sex lives and our spiritual lives as two different worlds. This attitude has caused many crises -- anger and frustration with our partners, power struggles, accusations and hurt feelings, shame and guilt about our own behavior.

We can join our spirituality with our sexual selves by taking responsibility for being sexual. Being responsible means we take the risk of being vulnerable, of giving and receiving affection and sexual expression in our relationships. We cannot expect satisfaction of our desires simply because we feel them. In sexuality, as in all parts of our lives, our Higher Power is our guide. We can also say no to sexual expression if we wish.

God guide my sexual awareness today. Open me to experience sexuality as a creative gift for relationships.

[Gooch]

geez I showed up in this thread too late for the joke..

I've gone through phases with it.

seems the older I get the less concerned I am with blowing a gasket or developing a habitual leer from "un released sexual tension".

There are still times when I find that some isolated visual anomaly will stir up my inner porngoogler.

and about the time i sense the first swarm of cookies being stuffed down my internet connection, I remember that the cost of getting obsessive over porno makes my computer unmanageable or could put a dent in my credit card, that I will have regrets over.

so anyway .. my dad caught me with a girly mag doing what boys do and yelled "cut that out or you'll go blind!" I replied "Dad, I'm over here, what if I stop when I need glasses?"

Originally Posted by Gooch

so anyway .. my dad caught me with a girly mag doing what boys do and yelled "cut that out or you'll go blind!" I replied "Dad, I'm over here, what if I stop when I need glasses?"

ROFL!!! The cookie mess is very bothersome, and it seems to be a ''popular'' thing for gallery sites to load strange--and often malicious--files on your computer. One of those is the Java Byte-Ver exploit. It can be used to divert information (like a recent credit card transaction) through a number of 'back-channel' ports without the user even aware of it.

One of my recent interests is in Hentai & Manga cartoons. It's also known as anime or Japanime. My main complaint about this genre, besides getting used to the 'doe-eyed' anatomically disproportioned females, is the extreme camera angles. It's not unusual for mainstream comics to uitilize 20°-30° angles for brief periods. Anime comics tend to push the tilt/bank tolerance of the viewer with prolonged sequences of 45°-60° right angles. It's distracting having to tilt your head in the opposite direction.

With respect to content, there is some really sick stuff on the Internet, and I think the cartoons are more likely to contain extreme content, compared to the 'reality' adult sites.

I've found myself scrambling for the CLOSE THIS SCREEN button numerous times.

[utopia]

a friend said anything is ok in moderation, maybe.

i dont see my sexual and spiritual self as different but porn meets the needs of my physical desire to release tension. i want more but more is not available. nothing meets all of my needs, i think the obsessing is a sign of issues that need to be explored. i shared in a meeting today taht i have an addicitin to porn or at least some issues with using it as a substitute for sex because i dont get any right now. and the loving ok ness was good. so it doesnt feel so hmmmm now.