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10-02-2009, 06:37 PM
| #1 (permalink) |
| Helping Others, Helps Me  Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Minnesota
Posts: 454
| Any tips to rebuild trust with loved ones?
Short of staying sober....and trying to live a good life.  It irks me when I am really working hard on myself and my sobriety and then I hear the, I don't think I will ever trust you. I guess you gotta use the old line, gotta brush those shoulders off. That is not my issue if they don't trust me, and I am not respecting myself otherwise.
__________________ "I wish she could look at me and see the person she once loved instead of the person she has grown to hate." I am a good guy who just wants to live a sober, happy, stress free life. |
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| The Following User Says Thank You to MagicMan08 For This Useful Post: | Overman (10-02-2009) |
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10-02-2009, 06:49 PM
| #2 (permalink) | |
| Member  Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Everett, WA
Posts: 2,323
| Quote:
Yes, it is called amends. And that means demonstrating a real change, not just working on yourself so that you can feel better. That means showing up when you say you will and doing what you say you are going to do.And sometimes it takes years of doing that. Then again, maybe they will never trust you and you'll have to be OK with that. Jim
__________________ "I used to be good for nothing. Now I do good for nothing." ~ Chuck C. | |
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| The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to jimhere For This Useful Post: | Overman (10-02-2009), sailorjohn (10-02-2009) |
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10-02-2009, 11:30 PM
| #3 (permalink) |
| 9/15/08  Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: eastern Kansas
Posts: 239
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Making amends, yes. But that seems to be just the beginning. I agree with Jim...it's something that just has to happen consistently over a period of time. I tend to think my alcoholism took 15 years to reach its peak...so the effects on my personal relationships aren't going to magically repair themselves overnight...or perhaps even a few years. And I have to accept that some relationships will simply NEVER be repaired. 
__________________ "If you can smile whenever anything goes wrong, you are either an idiot or a repairman." (or sober!) ~ Anon |
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| The Following User Says Thank You to Overman For This Useful Post: | sailorjohn (10-02-2009) |
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10-02-2009, 11:37 PM
| #4 (permalink) |
| Member  Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 2,048
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Might be helpful to ask yourself some questions. How long have I been sober? How long did it take to destroy that trust?
__________________ No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path. Buddha |
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