Are we to blame? - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

OZboy · 05-31-2009, 06:43 PM

I often read "posts" that end with this quote;
The more I know men,the more I love my dog.
I'm not overly thrilled with this comment,yet I suppose some blokes can
be a bit of a worry. What do you think? Maybe I'm a bit thin skinned because
I"m now sober and don't wish to judge anyone.... Oz..

ex D-Boy · 05-31-2009, 09:34 PM

Hell has no wrath like a scorned women......gotta remember that one oz.

A lot of the women who post that have been continually hurt and betrayed by men they thought loved them. Cheated on, lied to, used and abused. Cant really blame some of them for becoming bitter.

coming_clean · 06-01-2009, 02:06 AM

wow that sounds really nasty....

most girls i know sometimes talk about their boyfriends in a similar way when they are with their girlfriends that is. As soon as they are with their boyfriends they get sweet and all.

Woman will always talk about men. We will never do it right. Accept it and just be a man

Eroica · 06-01-2009, 08:33 AM

Girls say S*it about guys and guys do the same thing when it comes to girls. But 90% of the time its just in good fun.

Are we to blame? You have to admit for the past 1000 years or so men thought of women only as f*ck toys or baby vessels, only recently do we consider them our equals. In other cultures, men still totally dominate and control women.

Of course that has nothing to do with being a scorned Western woman, but I think some of the same impulses from hundreds of years ago live on in the modern man.. and come out in ways like beating, cheating. This is just my opinion and there are many really sweet guys out there.

**Dee74** · 06-01-2009, 02:52 PM

Quote:

I often read posts that end with this quote;
The more I know men,the more I love my dog.

I always read this particular instance as tongue in cheek

D

Gmoney · 06-01-2009, 04:35 PM

Quote:

The more I know men,the more I love my dog.

Hey...ya never know. They could be referring to their man.

The way I see it...gender bias is something that's taught. Men teach men and women teach women. It's not different than any other stereotype or pigeonhole people put people in. Sure...a lot of women view all men as dogs because (very often) those are the kind of men they're attracted to. The good guys get passed over because they aren't exciting or they don't fulfill what's needed to satisfy ego. Same applies to men. Many guys pursue the sexy, attractive woman (the trophy) and get burned.

Are we to blame? Heck no. Yet...as they say, "Hurt people, hurt people." There's a lot of pain out there and it gets spread around pretty fairly. We're products of our experiences, and it takes some serious maturity to learn that we often play the greatest hand in the harm we receive.

Quote:

You have to admit for the past 1000 years or so men thought of women only as f*ck toys or baby vessels, only recently do we consider them our equals. In other cultures, men still totally dominate and control women.

Or...we can blame Eve.

Gmoney · 06-01-2009, 07:23 PM

There's a book I read many years ago called "Man Enough" by Dr. Frank Pittman. He talks about relationship stuff. Good book.

OZboy · 06-01-2009, 07:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OZboy

I often read "posts" that end with this quote;
The more I know men,the more I love my dog.
I'm not overly thrilled with this comment,yet I suppose some blokes can
be a bit of a worry. What do you think? Maybe I'm a bit thin skinned because
I"m now sober and don't wish to judge anyone.... Oz..

Possibly is "tongue in cheek" comment,however,if I post this;
The more I know women,the more I love my Harley."
I bet "sh#t" would hit the fan...

**Dee74** · 06-01-2009, 07:56 PM

maybe. LOL.
Can't legislate for a sense of humour, Oz

D

OZboy · 06-01-2009, 08:17 PM

Yeah,you gotta have a laugh! cheers..Oz.. :wtf2

CAPTAINZING2000 · 06-01-2009, 08:25 PM

I'd have to have more then, just that to base any kind of opinion.

Gmoney · 06-01-2009, 09:08 PM

Quote:

Possibly is "tongue in cheek" comment,however,if I post this;
The more I know women,the more I love my Harley."
I bet "sh#t" would hit the fan...

I'm with you, Oz. Fair exchange isn't robbery. If they can dish it out they have to be able to take it. I had a woman once tell me that all men cheat. I replied by telling her that the same percentage of women do it too...they're just better at not getting caught. Needless to say, she didn't take my response very well.

rubbersoul · 06-01-2009, 09:32 PM

"The more I know men, the more I love my dog." - when I first read that I understood "men" as being humans, not just male. To me its a misanthropic thing to say and definitely an excellent point.

edit: oops I'm in the wrong room, came here from "new posts"

**Dee74** · 06-01-2009, 09:58 PM

I know the author - kinda a shame she can't join in here.
I know the intent wasn't to start anything like this

I appreciate the views shared, but I still think we can be a little too thin skinned and make too much out of some stuff (and I mean everyone can, me included).

There's a lot more important stuff that needs my outrage, anyway IMO.

But it does bring to my attention I probably need to be a bit more thoughtful with some of my sigs too, cos you never know....

Annnnnyway, as I understand it, the signature in question is now but a cyber memory...

as we were, gents....stand down

D

utopia · 07-14-2009, 07:41 PM

i think i hear what ur saying. ive learnt for me that broad generalisations about people based on gender can reflect a belief based on negative experiences. maybe, this reveals the person to make that joke usually attracts or has attracted themselves to situations/people who hurt them but have not resolved the boundary issues or responsibility for their part in the negative experiences or fully let go of the hurt and so elevates their ego by making themselves"better than" by attacking a group...this can be taken in jest but in more extreme forms can be hate crimes, domestic violence, racism and so on.

i understand why youre a tad miffed by this. if we want respect we have to send out respect.

Radio33 · 06-07-2010, 10:24 AM

I know what you're saying, but there's an old phrase that I use to keep things like that in perspective: "If the shoe fits, wear it." In other words, if some random generalization is made and it doesn't apply to you... ignore it. If it DOES apply to you and you don't like it... well, there's a problem somewhere. My wife always says: "Consider the source." If you hear the thing that's ticking you off from an idiot... there ya go.

**Dee74** · 06-07-2010, 04:57 PM

Welcome to SR radio33

D

**Peter** · 06-09-2010, 06:01 PM

"The more I learn about relationships the more I enjoy living alone."

Tommyh · 06-09-2010, 06:13 PM

are we to blame?
I asked my sponsor that about 5 yrs ago
he quietly said,yes,to a degree,but there has to be something wrong with them to be attracted to guys like us

05-31-2009, 06:43 PM	#1 (permalink)
OZboy Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: ozstrayleeya Posts: 2,951	Are we to blame? I often read "posts" that end with this quote; The more I know men,the more I love my dog. I'm not overly thrilled with this comment,yet I suppose some blokes can be a bit of a worry. What do you think? Maybe I'm a bit thin skinned because I"m now sober and don't wish to judge anyone.... Oz..

05-31-2009, 09:34 PM	#2 (permalink)
ex D-Boy Sco Seeeezy 3D Net Blazer Champion! Angry Old Wizard Champion! Basketball Champion! Freaky Football Champion! Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Boca FL Posts: 760	Hell has no wrath like a scorned women......gotta remember that one oz. A lot of the women who post that have been continually hurt and betrayed by men they thought loved them. Cheated on, lied to, used and abused. Cant really blame some of them for becoming bitter. __________________ She say she nah let go ~~ LKA <3 Forever

06-01-2009, 02:06 AM	#3 (permalink)
coming_clean Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: the netherlands Posts: 665	wow that sounds really nasty.... most girls i know sometimes talk about their boyfriends in a similar way when they are with their girlfriends that is. As soon as they are with their boyfriends they get sweet and all. Woman will always talk about men. We will never do it right. Accept it and just be a man __________________ Every human being is the author of his own health or disease. -Buddha- 01.23.2012 Better run through the jungle, Don't look back see, -Creedance Clearwater Revival-

06-01-2009, 08:33 AM	#4 (permalink)
Eroica Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Htown, baby! Posts: 384	Girls say Sit about guys and guys do the same thing when it comes to girls. But 90% of the time its just in good fun. Are we to blame? You have to admit for the past 1000 years or so men thought of women only as fck toys or baby vessels, only recently do we consider them our equals. In other cultures, men still totally dominate and control women. Of course that has nothing to do with being a scorned Western woman, but I think some of the same impulses from hundreds of years ago live on in the modern man.. and come out in ways like beating, cheating. This is just my opinion and there are many really sweet guys out there. __________________ "If there is no struggle, there is no progress. Those who profess to favor freedom, and yet depreciate agitation, are men who want crops without plowing up the ground. They want rain without thunder and lightening." Frederick Douglass

06-01-2009, 07:23 PM	#7 (permalink)
Gmoney Evolving Addict Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: New York State Posts: 2,910	There's a book I read many years ago called "Man Enough" by Dr. Frank Pittman. He talks about relationship stuff. Good book. __________________ "We are never forced into relapse. We are given a choice. Relapse is never an accident." - Basic Text, 5th Ed.

06-01-2009, 07:56 PM	#9 (permalink)
Dee74 SR Moderator Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Seas Posts: 42,325	maybe. LOL. Can't legislate for a sense of humour, Oz D __________________ “When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be”Lao Tzu

06-01-2009, 08:17 PM	#10 (permalink)
OZboy Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: ozstrayleeya Posts: 2,951	Yeah,you gotta have a laugh! cheers..Oz.. :wtf2

06-01-2009, 08:25 PM	#11 (permalink)
CAPTAINZING2000 Psalm 118:24 Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: ILLINOIS Posts: 9,445 Blog Entries: 1	I'd have to have more then, just that to base any kind of opinion. __________________ LIFE IS GOD'S GIFT TO YOU WHAT YOU DO WITH YOUR LIFE IS YOUR GIFT TO GOD J - Jesus first O - Others next Y - Yourself last John 14:6

06-01-2009, 09:32 PM	#13 (permalink)
rubbersoul Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Canada Posts: 64	"The more I know men, the more I love my dog." - when I first read that I understood "men" as being humans, not just male. To me its a misanthropic thing to say and definitely an excellent point. edit: oops I'm in the wrong room, came here from "new posts"

06-01-2009, 09:58 PM	#14 (permalink)
Dee74 SR Moderator Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Seas Posts: 42,325	I know the author - kinda a shame she can't join in here. I know the intent wasn't to start anything like this I appreciate the views shared, but I still think we can be a little too thin skinned and make too much out of some stuff (and I mean everyone can, me included). There's a lot more important stuff that needs my outrage, anyway IMO. But it does bring to my attention I probably need to be a bit more thoughtful with some of my sigs too, cos you never know.... Annnnnyway, as I understand it, the signature in question is now but a cyber memory... as we were, gents....stand down D __________________ “When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be”Lao Tzu

07-14-2009, 07:41 PM	#15 (permalink)
utopia Member Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Australia Posts: 712	i think i hear what ur saying. ive learnt for me that broad generalisations about people based on gender can reflect a belief based on negative experiences. maybe, this reveals the person to make that joke usually attracts or has attracted themselves to situations/people who hurt them but have not resolved the boundary issues or responsibility for their part in the negative experiences or fully let go of the hurt and so elevates their ego by making themselves"better than" by attacking a group...this can be taken in jest but in more extreme forms can be hate crimes, domestic violence, racism and so on. i understand why youre a tad miffed by this. if we want respect we have to send out respect. __________________

06-07-2010, 10:24 AM	#16 (permalink)
Radio33 Tired & Scared... but Trying Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: New Brunswick, Canada Posts: 11	I know what you're saying, but there's an old phrase that I use to keep things like that in perspective: "If the shoe fits, wear it." In other words, if some random generalization is made and it doesn't apply to you... ignore it. If it DOES apply to you and you don't like it... well, there's a problem somewhere. My wife always says: "Consider the source." If you hear the thing that's ticking you off from an idiot... there ya go.

06-07-2010, 04:57 PM	#17 (permalink)
Dee74 SR Moderator Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Seas Posts: 42,325	Welcome to SR radio33 D __________________ “When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be”Lao Tzu

06-09-2010, 06:01 PM	#18 (permalink)
Peter Moderator Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Leaving Sparta Posts: 2,931	"The more I learn about relationships the more I enjoy living alone."

06-09-2010, 06:13 PM	#19 (permalink)
Tommyh Member Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: N.C. Posts: 18,385	are we to blame? I asked my sponsor that about 5 yrs ago he quietly said,yes,to a degree,but there has to be something wrong with them to be attracted to guys like us

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