Tired of being the MAN/responsible - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

SonofaMess · 03-12-2009, 05:27 AM

Question for anyone. I myself am just here not because I was an addict or alcoholic but because I've been around it my whole life. I've posted about it when I got on here. But it's been a pain in the ass which is where this is going....

Now the question.

Anyone here sick of being the ****** "MAN" and taking care of everything?
Long story short I am the product of an addict mother and no father, ever. My aunt basically raised me and I was kind of pawned off from fam member to other fam member temporarily my whole life. Not because I was a bad kid. I was actually a perfect kid by nature. Never acted out. Nobody wanted to deal with me bc of my mother and nobody felt they should be bothered. I was like the unspoken regret on everybodys mind.

Then when I was maybe 11 years old (seriously that young) I started getting the "now you gotta be a man" and "step up" bullshit speaches. As if it was suck it up and take care of your POS mother so we don't have to.

Well by the time your 16 or 17 that whole be a man crap gets old real fast. I was a man already. I started paying the mortgage when I was 15 years old. I was the one draggin her ass home from bars and hotel rooms at 4am when i was 13 and 14 yrs old before that.

I was very literally fist fighting grown men when I was that age. which probably had part in my taking up wrestling and boxing (state champion and golden gloves champion) which i pride myself on btw. But it really still pisses me off to this day how soo many people in the family could just sit back and watch her almost kill me and herself time and time again and just expect me to step up and take care of it or die at such a young age.

Even now it pisses me off from time to time and really DISGUSTS me that grown adults would have done that to a kid back then. The older I get the more disgusted I am that anyone could have not interviened and helped her or me.

This is more of a vent than a question I guess but I was just wondering who else feels the same way or knows what I'm talking about.

I'll keep taking care of business as I always have but its annoying.

klopper22 · 03-12-2009, 09:48 PM

The saying, BE A MAN would be better said TAKE CARE OF BUSINESS. No one is capable of taking care of you like YOU are. So take pride in being a responsible man. Sounds like you were a damn good kid too. You survived all that crap. Good job!

KenL · 03-16-2009, 07:36 PM

No experience on this sonofamess, but one thing that strikes me is this, you must really love your mom in spite of everything else. Your sacrifice will some day be rewarded.

Peace,
Ken

SonofaMess · 03-16-2009, 11:22 PM

Thanks for the comments. I had a rough day when I posted this thread. Couldn't get it outta my head. There were a few long conversations with family and friends that day and I just had to get it out.

hapapinoy · 04-23-2009, 12:52 AM

Sadly, I don't think men (and boys) get the sort of support that women/girls do.

Things seem to be more geared toward women; men just have to suck it up.

03-12-2009, 05:27 AM	#1 (permalink)
SonofaMess Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 74	Tired of being the MAN/responsible Question for anyone. I myself am just here not because I was an addict or alcoholic but because I've been around it my whole life. I've posted about it when I got on here. But it's been a pain in the ass which is where this is going.... Now the question. Anyone here sick of being the ****** "MAN" and taking care of everything? Long story short I am the product of an addict mother and no father, ever. My aunt basically raised me and I was kind of pawned off from fam member to other fam member temporarily my whole life. Not because I was a bad kid. I was actually a perfect kid by nature. Never acted out. Nobody wanted to deal with me bc of my mother and nobody felt they should be bothered. I was like the unspoken regret on everybodys mind. Then when I was maybe 11 years old (seriously that young) I started getting the "now you gotta be a man" and "step up" bullshit speaches. As if it was suck it up and take care of your POS mother so we don't have to. Well by the time your 16 or 17 that whole be a man crap gets old real fast. I was a man already. I started paying the mortgage when I was 15 years old. I was the one draggin her ass home from bars and hotel rooms at 4am when i was 13 and 14 yrs old before that. I was very literally fist fighting grown men when I was that age. which probably had part in my taking up wrestling and boxing (state champion and golden gloves champion) which i pride myself on btw. But it really still pisses me off to this day how soo many people in the family could just sit back and watch her almost kill me and herself time and time again and just expect me to step up and take care of it or die at such a young age. Even now it pisses me off from time to time and really DISGUSTS me that grown adults would have done that to a kid back then. The older I get the more disgusted I am that anyone could have not interviened and helped her or me. This is more of a vent than a question I guess but I was just wondering who else feels the same way or knows what I'm talking about. I'll keep taking care of business as I always have but its annoying.

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03-12-2009, 09:48 PM	#2 (permalink)
klopper22 Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 69	The saying, BE A MAN would be better said TAKE CARE OF BUSINESS. No one is capable of taking care of you like YOU are. So take pride in being a responsible man. Sounds like you were a damn good kid too. You survived all that crap. Good job!

03-16-2009, 07:36 PM	#3 (permalink)
KenL Member McDonalds Champion! Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 1,349 Blog Entries: 26	No experience on this sonofamess, but one thing that strikes me is this, you must really love your mom in spite of everything else. Your sacrifice will some day be rewarded. Peace, Ken

03-16-2009, 11:22 PM	#4 (permalink)
SonofaMess Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 74	Thanks for the comments. I had a rough day when I posted this thread. Couldn't get it outta my head. There were a few long conversations with family and friends that day and I just had to get it out.

04-23-2009, 12:52 AM	#5 (permalink)
hapapinoy Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Midwest USA Posts: 40	Sadly, I don't think men (and boys) get the sort of support that women/girls do. Things seem to be more geared toward women; men just have to suck it up.

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