The Big 4 O

[dopelesshope]

I turn 40 this week, in another day actually and it has me a little f'ed up.
I live a suburban life, wife, three kids...hockey dad, my own business, you know the scene. I came from the streets, did the jails, was homeless, shooting up with hookers, gettin high with whatever it took.

I know I have come a long ways and being clean for almost a decade is a success story and nothing else matters, but...this 40 thing has had me judging myself and others a lot. I began checkin the score card and seeing how much the regular Joes around here have. I have been judging my insides by their outsides. The nicer cars, bigger houses, vacations..ect.
I keep reminding myself, I am not my things and the most importing things in life isnt things..but christ.
It keeps surfacing.
Is this just a common man issue?
The whole boys and their toys crap.

anyhow, I will keep remembering where I came from and who I am. Count my blessings and be gratefull for all I have.

Thanks
The Dopeless Hope Fiend

[Doug]

Happy birthday, and thanks for that post. I don't know if it's a "common man" issue, but I know you're not alone.

I find the better I'm feeling on the inside, the less I do the comparison thing myself. And when I'm down, sad, "out of sorts", it happens often, and adds to the "down" feelings. I'm very good at "shoulding" all over myself. My addiction will do whatever it has too to reel me back in.

We're already a step ahead though, because today we can identify it.