Hey Guys - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

sadforthem · 02-08-2007, 06:55 AM

This is my first time posting. I have been lurking around, but now I just need help. I have been a recovering Alky for about six months, but at this point that is not my bigest problem. My wife and I have just gotten seperated. I really do not believe there is any trus love there. I know I was just there for the kids, but we had a big figkt, and I moved out. Now though I really do not know how to deal with the PAIN of hurting my children. I tell my self people get devource every day, and everything will be ok. At this point I am really struggling with missing them. Is there anyone out there that can give me any advice on Rebuilding a relationship w/ my kids, and how to deal w/ the seperation. I really have not figured out what is worse. Living with a women at points I HATE!! Or not living with my kids.

drew_61 · 02-08-2007, 10:13 AM

Hi, sadforthem...
First off, have you and your wife seen a marriage counselor yet? Do you have a desire to make your relationship work, or is it truly finished? If it's done, the next thing for you to know is that your kids are probably very scared that they will lose you, too. You must strive to participate in their lives, even if you're not living with them. Call them all the time, attend their school functions, see them whenever you can. Even if/when you meet someone new. Your kids should always be your first priority. I hope that you and your wife can overcome any anger or hard feelings in order to make this transition as seamless as possible for the sake of your kids. Good luck...

Time2Surrender · 02-09-2007, 07:32 AM

Welcome to SoberRecovery. Only thing I can suggest is always be there for them when you can. And when they come to visit, let it be their weekend. Do stuff they wanna do.

02-08-2007, 06:55 AM	#1 (permalink)
sadforthem Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: just out there Posts: 1	Hey Guys This is my first time posting. I have been lurking around, but now I just need help. I have been a recovering Alky for about six months, but at this point that is not my bigest problem. My wife and I have just gotten seperated. I really do not believe there is any trus love there. I know I was just there for the kids, but we had a big figkt, and I moved out. Now though I really do not know how to deal with the PAIN of hurting my children. I tell my self people get devource every day, and everything will be ok. At this point I am really struggling with missing them. Is there anyone out there that can give me any advice on Rebuilding a relationship w/ my kids, and how to deal w/ the seperation. I really have not figured out what is worse. Living with a women at points I HATE!! Or not living with my kids.

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02-08-2007, 10:13 AM	#2 (permalink)
drew_61 Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Wisconsin Posts: 58	Hi, sadforthem... First off, have you and your wife seen a marriage counselor yet? Do you have a desire to make your relationship work, or is it truly finished? If it's done, the next thing for you to know is that your kids are probably very scared that they will lose you, too. You must strive to participate in their lives, even if you're not living with them. Call them all the time, attend their school functions, see them whenever you can. Even if/when you meet someone new. Your kids should always be your first priority. I hope that you and your wife can overcome any anger or hard feelings in order to make this transition as seamless as possible for the sake of your kids. Good luck...

02-09-2007, 07:32 AM	#3 (permalink)
Time2Surrender Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Washington State Posts: 7,263 Blog Entries: 7	Welcome to SoberRecovery. Only thing I can suggest is always be there for them when you can. And when they come to visit, let it be their weekend. Do stuff they wanna do.

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