Withdrawal/Detox Anxiety and Fear
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 149
Originally Posted by mm1741 
I NEVER regretted going to one. Not once.
I know it will be hard to walk in and I'll keep this in mind when I do feel nervous about it. I always felt like weed was so innocent, there is the voice in my head that goes "Really? An MA meeting? People would laugh at you, weed is not such a hard drug." But the consequences of long term use, and dependence are real. This withdrawal experience was awful, so I just need to hush that voice and do what I need to be well. I can't bring myself to tell my herb smoking friends, even though they have supported me through this. I will be keeping this to myself for now. btw, I apologize for the late reply, I've been at my family's house taking a break from electronics, and getting calm. I went to a lake today and it was wonderful, so relaxing.
Good luck starting a meeting in your state. I'm surprised there isn't even one! I'm lucky because I live right outside a major city, so we have access to a lot.
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Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: CT
Posts: 128
No need to apologize, Shutterbug. I can completely relate to the desire to be away from electronics for awhile. It can be very refreshing. We are all glued to our phones and society at large nowadays. It's the new normal, and being able to step away from it for awhile can give a much clearer perspective on your own life.
Weed's not innocent. It's a drug, capable of causing severe addiction. And like any addiction, it removes the ability to live a fulfilling life. I'm really past the whole 'it's just weed,' thing. I destroyed my life with it as much if not more so than any other drug i've done. It is very insidious.
I think we're going to be seeing a rise in addiction issues as it becomes legal in more states. We already are. If you type 'marijuana' in a search engine one of the first things that pops up to complete your search phrase is 'marijuana addiction.'
Weed's not innocent. It's a drug, capable of causing severe addiction. And like any addiction, it removes the ability to live a fulfilling life. I'm really past the whole 'it's just weed,' thing. I destroyed my life with it as much if not more so than any other drug i've done. It is very insidious.
I think we're going to be seeing a rise in addiction issues as it becomes legal in more states. We already are. If you type 'marijuana' in a search engine one of the first things that pops up to complete your search phrase is 'marijuana addiction.'
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 149
Third Morning Without Anxiety :)
So today is the third day that I have woken up without anxiety and the surreal feeling. During these past three weeks the mornings were the worst for some reason. I'm so relived to be waking up feeling normal again.
During the past two days I experienced some surreal feelings throughout the day, but its minimal and reducing. I'm so relieved. The other day I thought to myself "you have to remember this, you felt so trapped and freaked out in the beginning, but look you made it through and you feel better now." Courage and faith are so important. I had to believe that I was going to get better even when I felt terrible everyday. I had to find my small bit of courage each day to continue. I'm feeling really proud of myself today, that I am able to get through this.
It really is one of the best things I've done lately, and I am starting to really see the small beginnings of reward and that makes me so excited for the future. I already lost 4 pounds without any effort, I just can't eat as much without the continuous munchies. I have seen more of my family and friends then I have in a long time and I realize how much I miss being social and how much more satisfying it is to experience life this way. I'm digging into therapy in a more real way now because I am not hiding behind the dulling veil of weed. I still don't have a ton of energy yet, experiencing a lot of fatigue, but I suppose that is coming which is what I've heard on here. I'm just so thankful the surreal feeling is lifting and the panic is lessening. My therapist thinks that the panic disorder will subside after I fully detox, which I already see evidence of.
Feeling very hopeful, grateful and encouraged this morning
During the past two days I experienced some surreal feelings throughout the day, but its minimal and reducing. I'm so relieved. The other day I thought to myself "you have to remember this, you felt so trapped and freaked out in the beginning, but look you made it through and you feel better now." Courage and faith are so important. I had to believe that I was going to get better even when I felt terrible everyday. I had to find my small bit of courage each day to continue. I'm feeling really proud of myself today, that I am able to get through this.
It really is one of the best things I've done lately, and I am starting to really see the small beginnings of reward and that makes me so excited for the future. I already lost 4 pounds without any effort, I just can't eat as much without the continuous munchies. I have seen more of my family and friends then I have in a long time and I realize how much I miss being social and how much more satisfying it is to experience life this way. I'm digging into therapy in a more real way now because I am not hiding behind the dulling veil of weed. I still don't have a ton of energy yet, experiencing a lot of fatigue, but I suppose that is coming which is what I've heard on here. I'm just so thankful the surreal feeling is lifting and the panic is lessening. My therapist thinks that the panic disorder will subside after I fully detox, which I already see evidence of.
Feeling very hopeful, grateful and encouraged this morning
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Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Washington state
Posts: 571
That is awesome, Shutterbug! I am so happy for you!
The improvements you are seeing are great incentive to keep going, right?
Have you gotten rid of the stash in your fridge yet? I really, REALLY recommend you do so. Until you've gotten rid of all your pot and smoking devices, the temptation will always be there. The AV will still have his damn foot in the door.
I know it sounds so scary and permanent, but it is incredibly liberating. I cannot tell you how glad I am that I did it.
Congrats on your successes! You rock!
The improvements you are seeing are great incentive to keep going, right?
Have you gotten rid of the stash in your fridge yet? I really, REALLY recommend you do so. Until you've gotten rid of all your pot and smoking devices, the temptation will always be there. The AV will still have his damn foot in the door.
I know it sounds so scary and permanent, but it is incredibly liberating. I cannot tell you how glad I am that I did it.
Congrats on your successes! You rock!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: CT
Posts: 128
Hi shutterbug! I have to echo Lynn's statement about tossing your drug tools and old stash. Just toss it all. You won't believe the relief you'll feel when it's done. I know the anxiety about doing it, but it's that anxiety exactly that always led back to using. I'd always keep my pieces 'just in case.' In case what?? Nothing! There's no good reason to keep it, at all. Nothing is more important than sobriety for us, and keeping that stuff around is like a skeleton in the closet.
One thing that kinda helped me to finally toss it all was the thought of 'well, if I really and truly can't tolerate life without pot, it's not like weed is going extinct. And you can smoke out of an apple for crying out loud, if you get that desperate.'
Just throw it all away. Lynn's right. It's such a liberating feeling.
One thing that kinda helped me to finally toss it all was the thought of 'well, if I really and truly can't tolerate life without pot, it's not like weed is going extinct. And you can smoke out of an apple for crying out loud, if you get that desperate.'
Just throw it all away. Lynn's right. It's such a liberating feeling.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 149
9 weeks
Hi Everyone, I'm sorry I've been MIA for a bit.
Today is the 9th week that I haven't smoked. I feel normal now, without weed. The panic attacks have completely ceased. My energy is mostly back, I don't feel the extreme fatigue anymore.
The most beautiful thing is that my social life is opening up. I feel more connected to people, I look people in the eyes more easily, I'm not hiding anymore.
I've also been redirecting my weed money. I am buying really healthy, fresh, organic foods from a farmers market, getting the food I really want to eat. I am more in control of my appetite because I 'm not munched out all the time. I don't eat late at night anymore and I've already dropped close to 10 lbs. without any effort. I'm just not as hungry. I bought myself a ticket to a show I really want to see. I went clothes shopping. This feels so great, having money again.
I'm also looking into a silent retreat. I want to do some introspection and the thought of being totally silent, without distraction, for several days sounds amazing.
I'm so thankful for the support I have received here.
Today is the 9th week that I haven't smoked. I feel normal now, without weed. The panic attacks have completely ceased. My energy is mostly back, I don't feel the extreme fatigue anymore.
The most beautiful thing is that my social life is opening up. I feel more connected to people, I look people in the eyes more easily, I'm not hiding anymore.
I've also been redirecting my weed money. I am buying really healthy, fresh, organic foods from a farmers market, getting the food I really want to eat. I am more in control of my appetite because I 'm not munched out all the time. I don't eat late at night anymore and I've already dropped close to 10 lbs. without any effort. I'm just not as hungry. I bought myself a ticket to a show I really want to see. I went clothes shopping. This feels so great, having money again.
I'm also looking into a silent retreat. I want to do some introspection and the thought of being totally silent, without distraction, for several days sounds amazing.
I'm so thankful for the support I have received here.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Phoenix, Arizona
Posts: 421
Originally Posted by mm1741
I should mention i'm kinda jealous you have MA meetings close to you. In your state, even! None in mine 
. Maybe I should start one, lol.
. Maybe I should start one, lol.I feel like it would surprise you with how many users there are, I bet you'd get good traction with a DIY MA lol.
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