Day 1
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 402
Day 88 sober. I am starting to have some cravings.
So what is happening right now is, because of my health issues, I am currently (per my doctor's recommendation) gluten free, dairy free ( though I sneak in some dairy some times), coffee free and pot free.
Prior to this illness, my mornings would literally every day start with a cup of coffee, some good bread and cheese, followed by a few hits of pot!
So you can see there is a lot of self denying and self disciplining happening for me right now. Thankfully, I am noticing an improvement in my health which is huge and the most important.
My dr said when I feel better I can add back in a little gluten and coffee,and to always try to keep the dairy at a minimum.
so--- I keep feeling like, when I feel better, I want all those things back! And the pot gets lumped into the mess.
sigh.
anyway- that is me right now
So what is happening right now is, because of my health issues, I am currently (per my doctor's recommendation) gluten free, dairy free ( though I sneak in some dairy some times), coffee free and pot free.
Prior to this illness, my mornings would literally every day start with a cup of coffee, some good bread and cheese, followed by a few hits of pot!
So you can see there is a lot of self denying and self disciplining happening for me right now. Thankfully, I am noticing an improvement in my health which is huge and the most important.
My dr said when I feel better I can add back in a little gluten and coffee,and to always try to keep the dairy at a minimum.
so--- I keep feeling like, when I feel better, I want all those things back! And the pot gets lumped into the mess.
sigh.
anyway- that is me right now
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,372
Congrats Windy 
I think things are going so well because you're off the pot. Something to consider maybe when you get those rosy ideas about pot.
Reading some old threads might help too. You didn't want to quit for nothing
D
I think things are going so well because you're off the pot. Something to consider maybe when you get those rosy ideas about pot.
Reading some old threads might help too. You didn't want to quit for nothing
D
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Southern Oregon U.S.
Posts: 1,023
It takes a long time for a change to pay off sometimes so just stick with it and know that sobriety brings other important benefits as well. It's funny cuz we can't always see all the benefits because we don't have a magic mirror that shows us our still using selves.
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 402
day 96
Yes it is easy to lose perspective. I find myself craving a lot lately. And it is very easy to fool myself into thinking if I get stoned that
1.I will be able to do it for a few days and then easily put it away again
and
2. All the good things I have cultivated will stick around ( such as going to yoga classes, other things)
When the reality is- if I get some pot I will 1.smoke constantly for months until I tear myself out of it again
2. And everything else will become secondary to pot.
So I have to stick with it.
But craving lately for sure.
Yes it is easy to lose perspective. I find myself craving a lot lately. And it is very easy to fool myself into thinking if I get stoned that
1.I will be able to do it for a few days and then easily put it away again
and
2. All the good things I have cultivated will stick around ( such as going to yoga classes, other things)
When the reality is- if I get some pot I will 1.smoke constantly for months until I tear myself out of it again
2. And everything else will become secondary to pot.
So I have to stick with it.
But craving lately for sure.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 293
Don't give up man, I wish I haven't started again. Like you I was thinking - yeah, I could do it couple of times/days, moderate and etc.
It's complete BS - Now I have to start all over again, plus repair all the issues it has caused.
I really wish I haven't relapsed, but ... I'm coughing out my lungs right now ...
Anyway - don't make the same mistake I did! It will only get worse if you smoke again.
From my and not only my experience three months is when craving hits more, I dunno why, but it's temporary. There are just moments like that, at different marks, 3 weeks, 3 months, maybe 6 months and etc, when for a period you feel like smoking, but if you get pass trough this, you go to the next level sort of speak.
Stick to it and you'll be happy, but it needs work and patience.
Every time I've relapsed (even if I had some fun smoking), I wish I haven't afterwards and I end up missing the sober time. But then the more you smoke the harder it gets to get off it again.
You're doing a great thing WindyTown, you're reclaiming your life and your happiness! Just give it some time and you'll start seeing all the benefits to it and you'll be so happy that you're not smoking anymore and that you're not a slave to pot anymore.
Good luck man, keep us posted!
It's complete BS - Now I have to start all over again, plus repair all the issues it has caused.
I really wish I haven't relapsed, but ... I'm coughing out my lungs right now ...
Anyway - don't make the same mistake I did! It will only get worse if you smoke again.
From my and not only my experience three months is when craving hits more, I dunno why, but it's temporary. There are just moments like that, at different marks, 3 weeks, 3 months, maybe 6 months and etc, when for a period you feel like smoking, but if you get pass trough this, you go to the next level sort of speak.
Stick to it and you'll be happy, but it needs work and patience.
Every time I've relapsed (even if I had some fun smoking), I wish I haven't afterwards and I end up missing the sober time. But then the more you smoke the harder it gets to get off it again.
You're doing a great thing WindyTown, you're reclaiming your life and your happiness! Just give it some time and you'll start seeing all the benefits to it and you'll be so happy that you're not smoking anymore and that you're not a slave to pot anymore.
Good luck man, keep us posted!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,372
I really hope you can find your way back again Teo.
It's not easy but it's simple to start - dump your stash and try to tough it out a while - avoid other stoners.
Get your real brain back and you can start making better decisions.
D
It's not easy but it's simple to start - dump your stash and try to tough it out a while - avoid other stoners.
Get your real brain back and you can start making better decisions.
D
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 402
Teodor- Thanks very much for that! That is a great reminder. All the years and days I smoked I was always looking longingly at sobriety. Now that I am here sobriety feels pretty decent. And pot is tempting.
thanks for reminding me of the truth of it
How long did you quit for this time, and how long have you been smoking again? I am sure you will get back to sobriety soon!
thanks for reminding me of the truth of it
How long did you quit for this time, and how long have you been smoking again? I am sure you will get back to sobriety soon!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 293
Well, it was almost 3 months clear with the exception of a slip up during vacation.
This is very dangerous, when you smoke once or twice etc during sobriety, and then you do not fall back in the trap but continue with sobriety for a period then you think - well, I did it once, I surely can do it again! aaand you fall back right into it.
I felt for that twice, once when I almost had 5 months, smoked one day, then lasted around a month and decided could do it again and now when I had month and a half smoked some on the vacation, then didn't smoked for another month and a half, then I thought I could smoke some more and keep it under control and here I am smoking everyday and coughing my lungs out.
Anyway, it was almost 3 months, and now it's around 4 months that I smoke. Pretty much everyday is the day and every bag is the last one.
Feels good to be back here though.
Keep up the good work, WindyTown!
This is very dangerous, when you smoke once or twice etc during sobriety, and then you do not fall back in the trap but continue with sobriety for a period then you think - well, I did it once, I surely can do it again! aaand you fall back right into it.
I felt for that twice, once when I almost had 5 months, smoked one day, then lasted around a month and decided could do it again and now when I had month and a half smoked some on the vacation, then didn't smoked for another month and a half, then I thought I could smoke some more and keep it under control and here I am smoking everyday and coughing my lungs out.
Anyway, it was almost 3 months, and now it's around 4 months that I smoke. Pretty much everyday is the day and every bag is the last one.
Feels good to be back here though.
Keep up the good work, WindyTown!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: New Orleans, LA
Posts: 985
I just had to labor over the calendar to figure it out, but I haven't smoked weed for 74 days...
Astounding.
I still miss it for cleaning the house (it made it fun). I think it absorbed the part of my brain that gets lonely in the evening - especially on weekdays, when I'm pretty tired after a long day's effort at work & don't often make plans, except walking the pup. I've spent a lot more time on SR.
I haven't noticed physical changes (ie. Increased lung capacity), but know from quitting other substances that often physical changes are so subtle that you don't notice unless you start up again, & then you feel like **** & realize your body had gotten used to being free of the constant impact of using.
I quit for my current job. (They test - the first job I've ever had that did so). I must say that I do like feeling more "authentic" about my sobriety; even though I had come to my own terms with it. I kept my pot use secret from most of my recovery community, & secrets always take energy to maintain...
Astounding.
I still miss it for cleaning the house (it made it fun). I think it absorbed the part of my brain that gets lonely in the evening - especially on weekdays, when I'm pretty tired after a long day's effort at work & don't often make plans, except walking the pup. I've spent a lot more time on SR.
I haven't noticed physical changes (ie. Increased lung capacity), but know from quitting other substances that often physical changes are so subtle that you don't notice unless you start up again, & then you feel like **** & realize your body had gotten used to being free of the constant impact of using.
I quit for my current job. (They test - the first job I've ever had that did so). I must say that I do like feeling more "authentic" about my sobriety; even though I had come to my own terms with it. I kept my pot use secret from most of my recovery community, & secrets always take energy to maintain...
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 402
day 116 sober. But feeling tempted today. Even went so far as to message my person- just in case. Did not set anything up but was like, if I wanted to come by could I , I will let you know.
ugh.
I remember being tethered to the addiction. I remember it is not that fun!
I have that voice in my head saying I can do it for a couple of days and then go back sober.
I am not super inclined to do it. Pretty much every day I think- some day I will do it again.
Today just happened to be the day I sent a quick message to the contact person- but I will probably still resist!
ugh.
I remember being tethered to the addiction. I remember it is not that fun!
I have that voice in my head saying I can do it for a couple of days and then go back sober.
I am not super inclined to do it. Pretty much every day I think- some day I will do it again.
Today just happened to be the day I sent a quick message to the contact person- but I will probably still resist!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,372
There's a lot of uncertainty in your words Windy. It's easy to minimise our past experience and think 'weeds not that bad I bet I could smoke now and again now...'
Go back and re read some of your old threads windy - and read the recent threads by guys who've come back...
If you went back, do you really believe that this time would be different for you? Is that realistic?
D
Go back and re read some of your old threads windy - and read the recent threads by guys who've come back...
If you went back, do you really believe that this time would be different for you? Is that realistic?
D
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