Pennys 41

[cinderellawkids]

Its a penny for your thoughts part 41

We talk talk talk talk talk

about everything.

Come here to whine, grown laugh post and make others laugh.

[cookconfay]

Well....got the deck sort of cleaned off, chops on the grill....taters boilin and we're fixin to finally eat!!!! It's a shame I don't use my grill more...I plan on usin the hell out of it this weekend!!! Before winter it's hurry up and get stuff outside done, trim bushes, storm windows off so my sis can paint for me.....ummmmm maybe pull up dead flowers, there are still some doing rather well... geez, makes me tired already!!! All of that though requires an entertainment idea or buddy i.e. grandpa for Gracie!!!!

[Jewelz]

I am so tired but I know if I try to sleep I wont be able to..

[Jewelz]

I just wonder how things could just get so freaking crazy but I still miss him... just makes no sense to me.

[Jewelz]

Wish someone was around... I guess I am going to have to go to bed.. but to restless sleep and crazy dreams

[cookconfay]

I know right where you're at....I talked to my sponsor about the same thing tonight! She said it's normal to think that kind of stuff.....she says just don't have to act on it....geez it doesn't make it suck any less though huh?

Until I go to bed and sleep and wake up tomorrow without him calling, there will be a smidgeon of me wanting him to call. I don't know why cuz I'm sure I'd be a b!tch to him but....I'm very tired, I may take one of my trazedones and hit the hay myself. I did get a lot accomplished already, the other 2 loads of laundry can wait.....

Got Gracie settled in with her Baby McDonald movie and I'm fixin to shower.......Hang in there with me Jewelz & Cindi & Loves & Finally...we can ALL make it through this....I couldn't do it without ya'll tho!

[cookconfay]

And....gosh here's my problem...so much CRAP has been occupying my space between my ears lately I can't retain sh!t....who else is in the smack dab middle of opposite sex troubles? I don't even know what to call them....boyfriends? Nope, friends don't usually talk to each other like that....hmmmmm men....well ALL of mine sure could do a LOT of growin up if ya know what I mean....let's see.....for me it wasn't a hubby this time....THANK GOD, really doesn't hurt any less, just costs a LOT less than a lawyer, restraining orders, motions, due processes etc etc...that last SOB cost me a helluva lot.....just to get it done! And he still hasn't paid a dime for my pregnancy or his child...oh well his A$$ is 40 today in frickin prison

[cookconfay]

Well, I am struggling with my feelings......I will not call, I will not call him, I will not call him. I want to but I won't.

[cinderellawkids]

oMG. When I go to bed I turn the answering machine off cause its in my room.

Last night I heard the phone ring over and over for 30 minutes in the other room. I never budged. Of course it was AH calling me at 12:30 am...
Cmon, great way to show me you hcxanged NOT. Seriously when he was here we went to bed at 9, many fights were if he drank hed stay up and wake me at 12.

Ok so his sisters up late an dhe goes to work later, he may not have been drinking. I bet he would have said he couldnt sleep or had a night mare and had to call...oh brother, ruin my sleep cause you cant sleep...can you be more selfish?

I really dont want him to come to town this weekend!!!!! I dont want to see the jerk, the jerk that never takes no for an answer, I also dont want to deal with the mind games when I tell him that. But I guess Im gonna have to call him and attempt to make it clear.

BTW, yesteray MIL was more pleasant. she walked lil D to the car and chatted for a minute with the older boys...now thats what I expect from her, regardless of anything my other 2 children have spent alot of time with her and her 10 year old son and I love her 10 year old as if he was my brother as well

Ok I think Im done typing for now. Sorry Jewelz for what you are feling. I dont understand feelings either as I love my husband but dont desire to see him...Im actually waiting for what excuuse he has to NO money this week, LOL

[cinderellawkids]

Just want to add the little rat babies are so cute. They are starting to walk around and squirm when you hold them now. Fur is starting to come in. Ill try to get pictures this weekend.

Another development... AN old friend Ive barely talked to this past year is moving due toa divorce. She's the one who got me in to turtles, she cant take her 2 aor the tank and its now illegal to give them to anyone but the state who euthanizes them, soooo I may be getting a150 gallon tank and 2 turtles. Its okay though cause once I build my pond itll be no big deal

[cookconfay]

Wow, good morning....Cindi....I get tired just from reading your posts! I complain and whine about just Gracie & I??? You never cease to amaze me.....all those pets and then the children....HOW DO YOU DO IT??? I agree with you about selfishness...the no sleeping thing. That was a big sore spot on me about xabf....he ALWAYS is going on about how he didn't sleep or how he couldn't or how he "made his self" stay in bed til 5 or 6. NEVERMIND that I don't sleep hardly at all either...he's just always got it so much worse. So there's more reasons I "don't" want to be listening to him.....all that self-pity....but gosh dang it.....it's been over 2 whole days and I just knew he'd be calling. Well, like I said, he's either drunk and doesn't want me to be able to tell cuz he knows I can tell....even over the phone, OR it was just words and fluff and BS I don't know.....

I do know though that I was so livid, so BIG TIME ANGRY with xah when we split up .... I did still cry a whole lot, but I was MAD all the time and maybe that made it a little easier? It's different too when there is another woman as opposed to just the disease of alcoholism/addiction.

I don't know anymore....I just want to get back to being ok and ready for it to STOP hurting so F*cking bad!

I hope all of you have a pleasant day today.......

[cinderellawkids]

Honestly the animals are a void filler. Ima rescuer at heart. Also as a child I wanted to be a scientist, then somewhere my self esteem told me I couldnt so this is my way of a happy medium. ...and I dont know what to do with the kids, I dont know how to play so caring for the animals is something we can do together and hopefully teach them responsibility, does that make sense?

[cookconfay]

Yes....it makes sense to me.....it still amazes me. You are really an outstanding individual, you deserve NOTHING less than the best Cindi.....big hugs to you!!!


I think (and believe me that's not always a good thing), that even though today is only Thursday and we should stay into today, maybe this weekend everyone is just TOO dang busy or TOO dang healthy to get caught up in "their" BS????? I know for me....I've got some really big plans for doing lots of stuff around here .... outside. I think my dad is coming to town so he can play with Gracie for me while I take all my storm windows off, trim shrubs, rake up some leaves, clean front porch and deck off really good.....straighten and clean garage.....REPOT THE DAMN PLANTS ..... still have NOT done that. GEEZ....so if he were to call....I would try really hard NOT to mush up and then be really busy. And I'm thinking of cooking a big ole pot of beans and having cornbread maybe fried taters (GOD how I HATE frying!!! Not to mention it's really bad for me...the butt size thing AND the hepatitis) OR just grill a bunch of something.....ribs? We'll take another look at that this afternoon.

[Jewelz]

Another night I couldnt sleep.. I really never experienced this before I feel the toll on my body. yesterday by four pm my kneck and shoulders were cramping and my legs felt like they were going to give out. I just got to work and all i wish is to put my head down but no I gotta work. be back soon...

Cindi I also dont know how you do it with all the animals I wish i had it in but I dont... I am to the point that I dont want to have my dog. but I feel to bad to give him away.

[cookconfay]

Jewelz....big hug for you too! Hang in there......maybe tonight you can get some rest. I know all too well about the not sleeping thing!!!!!

[WENDYLOST101]

Where is Anvil? Its kinda late not to have heard from her yet isnt it?

[cinderellawkids]

Its 69 degrees here in Central Florida and cloudy and its not expected to get warmer...

Office left the air on last night so I sware my office is about 60 degrees

[MsPINKAcres]

Morning folks!! -

It's a beautiful day in SW Louisiana - cool morning, bright sunshine - beautiful sky. Great f2f meeting last nite - Topic was the Slogans. Great stuff shared on how the slogans help us get through so many things. Small words with BIG meanings!!

Yea - it is kinda unusual not to have heard from Anvil this morning yet - maybe she's fighting traffic or construction trying to get to work.

Jewelz, hate that you are having trouble sleeping - I have a time with that too - sometimes journaling before I lay down - getting some of my thoughts out of my head & on paper - kinda giving the up to the God of my understanding helps.

Cindi - glad you didn't answer that phone at midnite - good for you -

Connie - you are one busy woman with all those plans for that much outside work - you go girl!!!

Happy, Wendy, Loves, Palm, Lies, KJ, Bayou, Ajangels, Teke, Anvil, Finally, and all our other Penny's crew - praying your Thursday is Happy, Joyous and FREE.

[cinderellawkids]

Cindi - glad you didn't answer that phone at midnite - good for you -

I couldnt ahve had I wanted too, when Im in bed Im a zombie. LOL


Im chilly

[cinderellawkids]

ok sat in front of a coworkers heater...still cold, putting on socks and gloves now. Last thermometer check our oiffice, inside was 62 degrees

[MsPINKAcres]

Cindi - I have a candle burning on my desk - do I need to send it to you???

maybe they'll get the hint if you start a fire in a trash can - you and a few other co-workers start gathering around the fire rubbing your hands together for warmth!!

[liesagain]

good morning everyone...............

Cindi .......to cold in the office but outside the weather is beautiful.......nice and cool to cloudy but gotta find the good parts right?

Japic, cook, palm, loves, anvil, jewelz, happy, wendy...................GOOD MORNING hope everyone has a great day.........

[liesagain]

wow the penny thread.........41

that means we have posted 20023 times ...............thats alot of talking ladies...............wonder if Teke knows what she started here..............

even in the basement ...............

[cinderellawkids]

Yes Teke's stopped in from time to time.

Wow we sure can type.

Office thermostate has to stay at 72 or server overheats, normally office warms with sun, haha not today.

Socks and mittens is helping, and yes outside is beautiful, but the winds are damp coming off the ocean

[cookconfay]

Ok, I'm at work....finally....Gracie's dentist visit went really good.....I just love their office the hygienist was very good/sweet and easy going in there! Dentist himself was really neat too......sigh She's got very good teeth, no cavity or signs of problems....whew! Her dad has a very tiny mouth....space wise....he sure opens it up way big and says waaaaaaaayyyyy too much ....but anyways all's good. My mouth however....I've ALWAYS taken care of my teeth...even strung out/homeless whatever...I brushed my teeth!!!! But...maybe the dope just rotted them from the inside out...I have a few missing, one bridge and need a couple more. But...thank God that so far as of right now none of the missing ones are visible when I smile.

Ok....now check this crazy sh!t out.....here's where I can really KNOW I'm insane....looking at that young dentist....his wedding ring....and by all appearances...this guy is the model husband probably...probably has a cute little dainty wife and they have a wonderful "life". I ALWAYS do that...I think the same about my pastor at church...he just turned like 40 I think. Ok.....WTF, only during this recent series on the sex, dating & marriage and him talking about he & his wife do have problems and that they don't have the "perfect" marriage etc etc have I been able to get away from putting them anyways, on pedestals. I look around and like one of my bosses too....cute wife, he's such a cool guy....it's hard for me to believe that they....1) argue or fight 2) yell or 3)have ever thought about splitting up. All of those things are NORMAL for me in ALL of my relationships....is that cuz I was with such LOSERS or is cuz "I" was involved.....????