First time

[brunette]

Hello! I am trying to get some feedbak about some issues I am having with my husband. We started to go to the psicologist together but we are still stock in our issues. The main problem is that I hate to go partying, I never drinked and I don't smoke. My husband loves to do all and that has been a problem since the beggining of our relation. I tell him that I can't deal with him going to happy hour every week and that the main activity that rewards him is partying, drinkink and being with friends. He told me that he will not stop doing it b/c he feels that I am totally controlling him so he resents me for that. I will love to have a person with me that understands my needs. Does anywone have any advise for this situation?
Thanks!

[Slowbriety]

why do you have to go with him?


also, you might wanna check out "friends and family" area.

[brunette]

Originally Posted by Slowbriety

why do you have to go with him?


also, you might wanna check out "friends and family" area.

I don't have to go with him but it bothers me for him to go...

[Golfman]

Originally Posted by brunette

I don't have to go with him but it bothers me for him to go...

Let me see if I can complete the sentence. "I don't have to go with him but it bothers me for him to go "out without me", "looking for other women", "out thinking that he can have more fun out there ranther than he can here with me".

Twenty-one years ago I was just like your husband. My wife sounded just like you sound now. She spent her time thinking "What's wrong with me?", "Do I make him drink?" In other words, she spent her time feeling responsible for what I was doing. The fact that I was a practicing alcoholic was the reason I did what I did.

I'll tell you what my wife finally told me. "I'm going back to school to get my degree so I can get a job. At that point I will be taking the kids and leaving you to drink all you want".

While I didn't get help for another seven months, it started me thinking about what my life would be like without my family. I got scared and the last few months I drank I didn't have any fun at all.

The bottom line is that she stood up for herself and let her guilt go. She was scared too, but she knew if she stayed with me things were only going to get worse.

Go to some Al-Anon meetings Brunette. There you will find courageous men and women who are taking back there lives that were dominated by alcohol.

"Just because the **** hits the fan doesn't mean you have to be there to get hit by the splatter".

[hope213]

slow, post in "friends & family of substances abusers". you will get the support you need.....hugs,hope

[ccgirl]

Maybe you can agree on one night of the week as his "party night" That way you won't feel resentful and he won't feel so tied down. Best of both worlds, at least in theory.