Reason To Believe

[Derameth]

REASON


Seated by a large oak tree
A small, quiet voice did speak to me.
"I am Reason, that you've ill bent;
And lost in time, lie weary and spent."

I turned about, eyes darting fierce
Within the trees, the glade to pierce;
To find the source of this soft voice,
So asking if I had had a choice.

My eyes turned up and to and fro;
"Which way" I wonder'd did Reason go?
Peeking round the large trunk'd tree;
"I am here, sweet lass, but you just don't see!"

The voice did taunt and run to hide;
My eyes searched high and low and wide;
No movement in the glen did spy
No Reason found with hopeful eyes.

Settling back, head 'pon my knee;
Wondering why Reason had quietly left me,
"Where were you when needed you I did?
"Lost in Analysis, factoring you hid!"

Demanding now, I stood to speak
"How could you leave me, Frail and weak?
A broken Lass, you see this day,
As you , Dear Reason, had run out to play!"
"Left me without a moments pause,
Or any good facts to help my cause"
Not "testing" of this, or "Examining" of that
You'd gone somewhere else, Reason left me flat."

And sighing so deeply, it caused me to stop
and examine the tree from rootball to top.
A sparkling globe did twinkle and glow
To slowly decend to the soft grassy knoll.

Inside of this orb an object did stand
The Voice softly said, "Take it into your hand".
From the rounded sphere that did shimmer such
I plucked the object, cool yet warm to touch.

"Look into the glass" The voice hushed as it said,
"See what is detected" loomed loud in my head.
Placing the glass up to my eyes I did see
Nothing so mystical; but a reflection of me.

"What trick is this?" I demanded so loud
As if I was Hera 'pon her high Olympic Cloud.
"Nothing is detected, save my own face's vision"
"Come out right NOW", I made the decision.

The laughter did peal from inside the space
Of the twinkling mirror that held only my face;
Then the laughter subsided as a change of a season.
I am my own thoughts....sanity and reason...

[Derameth]

I have fought against my reason, and in that fight did lose
That which I fought for, and against. Baffled, I am broken.

What is it that brings ones being into a state of harmony?
What is it that we seek to bring a sense of peace to ourselves?
Why is it that we always seek to look someone other than
in our own hearts and minds, and souls?

Are we afraid of what we might find?
Will we be lacking that which is essential? Or is
it quintessential, and we still overlook it?

Sometimes I want to fall, and lay in the arms of
that which would only destroy me. It was a faux peace
but it was peace. Something

Anything

is better than nothing.


Or is it?

[CBPete]

I sometimes think "where am I ?"
But not as often as "Who am I ?"

Either thought begs an answer
But never do I get that answer

It seems that questions about myself
Have no impact upon myself

But I keep asking over and over
The silence replied justs adds to the curiosity

So who, what where ??
Who knows but me

The answer I suppose doesn't evade
It just hides behind what I already know

But if I keep asking will an answer come ?
Or perhaps through repetition change

To be honest I do not know
Or I really do

[Wolfstarr]

Looking into myself I see
are the answers from within?

I tire easily from this
and melt back into conformity.

Struggling so, grasping at air
trying to feel and feeling nothing

Nothing worth holding onto,
nothing so still it deafens me.

Still I search. Looking, gazing, searching
into the dark, mystical night.

Is what I search for there?
Within me is the star...

[Derameth]

*smacks her head on the keyboard* AAACCCKKKKK I had a lovely poem here, and by the time I finished I was logged off......GRRRRRRRRRR

Dont fall into the pit of confomity or previous comfort.
Reach for the star, its within your grasp. Only you
can hold yourself back...


*weeps tears of frustration and loss for the words of poetry Calliope took with her....*WAAAAAHHHHH.....Poop

[margo]

Originally Posted by Derameth

I had a lovely poem here, and by the time I finished I was logged off......

Hi Derameth - I know how frustrating it can be to lose a post. If it happens again, click the back button until you get back to your text, then copy it, log in again, go to the thread and then paste your text.

[Derameth]

Thanks Margo. I did use the back button but it was already gone. It's ok tho. My dear friend and muse will resurface and I'll trap her here till I finish by posting and editing if I have too..*g* Or by copying and pasting into my Word.

Thank you for your assistance. Harmony to you and yours

[toforever]

I have found my frustrations of lost postings to later be a blessing. I cant credit this stupid computer that seems to be something of extended body now-this keyboard. Computer is good nor evil though but how I use this things is what makes me prone to evil if I am not careful, or forget painful lessons learned. SO now when something seems to slip away I can usually see right away it was trash, atleast for what it is that I set out to do. Sometimes I really say thank you Lord for not letting that through. It is also really true that anything of real value cannot be lost unless we turn from it ourselves and fall back into seeking what will never satisfy. Its not answers to seek I have found because they alway bring another question. My only wisdom now I feel is in accepting what is and being apreciative of all that I have and with love I am rich and with God I am forever under watch and have learned and believe the more I can commune with the Lord the more I will never have to want anything. I have seen the light and that is enough for me for now. it is dark now and I accept this easier, less frantic spinning around my head. So now I am trying to Give God something to work with in giving him all my true feelings no matter what yet stillt his is hard, but it is silly to hide anything I know because until I have come to truth in me with whatever I know the Lord cant move me. Right now its like im fighting him but I know this is really me trying my best to listen and I accept now whatever I am even if far away in the dark. My own fake light always failed me and now I am grateful yet still not pleased by this darkness. Strange being blind is comforting because it always makes seek the hand of the Lord. Now not in a fury will I seek light but use the darkness to start a new way to be. Its seems very comforting now in away to have this chance to learn the way of the Lord in a true commitment so I know that he will be always helping me even if I think of my own ways again and slip off. Darkness I hope to find quickly so I can realign again. For I have seen the true light although it passed like a flicker. It still was enough to shake my entire being to know my need and my strength was nothing but a my will to be a man as thought it was supposed to be. This is very new though so I am still like a new born again but its different I know this time, my only fear is that this time I cant fail for if I do it would mean to me that I rejected God. Before I had ignorance to use as my alliby and it feals like thats Ok too, and im not innocent but I feel forgiven in true repentance which I did not understand before. Even now its so small of an offering I make but its a start and I believe. Thank you all for the support and prayers. I have used this site to smash my way through my own obstacles creating more as I went, but only with patience and love has it turned to something good I believe at least in me getting to here now. I accept the circumstances of my past but I no longer carry the gullt. I have prayed for the incedentals of my change which has been violent to hear me say that I will be observent to these things greater than me so I can become in tune with the good flow of love grace and forgiveness. I hold no grudges even to things that have hurt me deeply. With my focus being right even if im blinded I feel everything of the past as things that just were what they were and I am trying to stop even considering what or why but rather be grateful for any lesson ive learned that has value that lasts. Really any and everything that has brought mr sown has taught me more humilty and shown me in time it was because I was not looking to the Lord before but rather after. So im trying to communicate to everyone as much as communicated before but now in showing my admitting I was not as I thought and now im open to learn tryting to subdue my own self-regard. I must give thanks to all who cared or gave me the chance to grow despite of my violence that I took before upon myself as a victem to these tragedies and pains and suffereings ive had enduring like the were giving me credit to being the ultimate survivor or something. it was all vanity although now it is something I can recognize so its good for me and I hope to do well for others and believe now if not in union it seems to have become more docile and it doesnt seem oppositional. forever grateful I am, and I hope for continued prayers for I knwo that I ahvce needed them. Ansd just to have 1 person believe in me was everything at the time and I coulldnt have made it without knowing some still loved and cared for me without regard to what I was that I couldnt see and without regard for my past. Its been not long poems that have really been the true gems I cherish you all for all though its the beauty of them that I love but rather I word or to that was straight to my heart that made laugh or cry. I remeber these still and often think to them because they are awsome to me. These are probably the words no one even remebers laying down. I devour poems and wise sayings but true genuie kindness and things that reach my timid soul that are often not even considered I find great joy in. they find there way to where they can truly effect a heart and make changes and move people. I want acknowledge but in just saying I know and thankyou, becasue I want to feel normal again or for a first. Its starting to show and I now I seem to prefer to be more anonymous wher I can make my way without beiing thrown off by my own reputation or identity effecting my relationships. i know this is a process too though so I am taking whatever is open and being open to whatever may be given. I must learn to listen before i can teach I see but this transition is difficult to balance as is surely evident here.

[Derameth]

Toforever;

Lay down thy sword and let the words ring true.
Take them as a medicine, a balm for the soul.
Wrap your heart and mind around them.Cloak
yourself in their warmth and honest feelings.

Strike an accord with your self. Accept it.
You are a survivor. You have made your choice.
Accept it and languish in that wonderful option.
Do not bite the hand that feeds you,
For
If you look closer you will see that it is your hand.

Words can cut quick or can soothe the soul.
Choice is the speakers, and listeners to
hear not What is said. But what is Meant.
Keep that cloak of honest warmth tightly
wrapped about that heart of yours.

For as ever, we are forgiven by Him.
We must also be forgiven by ourselves.
Hold to that truth, and the truth of life
And you will find peace.....in time....and
here's
to
Forever.