abyss

[suzy]

They say you should write down what you feel. I wonder if after I start I’ll ever be able to stop.

Standing on the brink of the abyss looking down into the darkness,
afraid, terribly, afraid to go down to that place where nightmares are bottled in chains, tucked away where no-one can see,
jumping into the lions den,
falling through chaos and madness,
without control,
If I fall who will catch me?
How will I get out?
What if it never ends?
What if there’s noone there?
What if I can’t get back out?
Why can’t I go around this black hole?
Why must I go in? Through?
Tears, Panic and Fear stand on the edge my sanity while I stand on the edge of this abyss, I don’t know what’s down there, under the bed of my world, what monsters are hiding, what things I do NOT want to see, memories I do NOT want to have, knowledge I do NOT want to know
Does this really need to be done? Why? Torment tears at my soul, scratching and clawing at my back to pull me under, powerless to resist
There is nothing and everything down there, nothing I want and everything I am, caught in a whirlwind of confusion
Why do this to myself?
Won’t somebody take my hand? Rescue me?
Does anybody hear me? See me?
I look in the mirror and see another face staring back, a tormented soul, such sad eyes, she breaks my heart, I want to take her in my arms and protect her, I want to take it all away and see what’s left

I'm no writer, it's just how I feel sometimes

[toforever]

hi, i understand some of your sentiment so your not alone. I dont have the answers, except it becomes easier when you start tell yourself that there is no answer. the past is the past and nothing we can see is really truth. so dont get into panic mode about things. pretend your a little girl and the world should hold you. just some thoughts to the blackhole. fear sucks everything in. let it fall down like rain around you. Its ego vs God and ego is good at pretending to be god. these are some things ive been through a bit.

[Derameth]

When you fall into the dark
Grasp with fingers of the soul
To you a light should impart
And find yourself upon the shoal.

Bask a while upon the sand
And light your eyes do so embrace,
Will lift the spirit and the hand
Knowledge will spread upon your face.

In that knowing you will find
The strength you never knew you had
The width and depth of your mind
Will bring you from your deepest sad.

Be not afraid of that drifting dark
For without the night there is no day
Bare your thoughts till you are stark
Naked in the healings way.

Blessings to you Suzy. Uncloak the fear in the dark, and you will find a deepening healing.