anonymity 1

[vinnietoo]

Anonymity
Our fellowship has evolved to the lowest common denominator in its definition and practice of anonymity. This is probably due to the large amount of newcomers who are naturally reluctant to disclose much about themselves initially. To a large degree though, it is also due to a lack of knowledge or diligence by the old-timers in instructing the newcomers.

For the newcomer who is scared to death and reluctant to disclose himself the anonymity tradition can be easily confused as a veil of secrecy to hide behind, sometimes forever. To the old-timer anonymity all to often just means not using your last name at the level of press, radio, television and films. The first is a complete misunderstanding of anonymity and the second is a severely limited model of the breadth and depth of this very spiritual tradition.

No one demands that the newcomer tell all about himself in his first meeting. We understand the need to take time to identify and to begin to feel secure. We also understand the need for members to practice patience and tolerance with newcomers. They are sometimes on very thin emotional ice and we do not want to destroy what little faith they have in AA by making too many demands on them too soon. The fear of exposure is a very real fear. Most newcomers believe that if their community knew they were coming to AA they would be ruined financially, or at the very least they would be mocked publicly as being emotionally weak. They are naturally very reluctant to risk this emotional pain.

When we speak of certain AA members breaking the tradition by being anonymous below the level of press, radio and film, we are speaking about people who have been around long enough to begin working the steps and becoming responsible AA members and still stay anonymous (secret) in their own communities. We are talking about people who have had a chance to get their spiritual feet on the ground and who now have a support system behind them. It is in this population that a lack of understanding of anonymity becomes an obstruction to living a more spiritual life--and of helping newcomers do the same. By this time we should be grateful for our delivery from alcoholism and willing enough to help others that we don't mind others knowing we are alcoholic. Trying to keep our disease a secret seems to say that we really don't think it is a disease. If it were, why be secretive? When we incorrectly apply the principle of anonymity to our lives (and remain secret in our communities), we cut ourselves off from the "Sunlight of the Spirit." If we do not allow our victory over alcohol through AA to be known, then how are we going to be of help to others? How can they come to us for help when they don't know what we have to offer?

Father John Powell's best selling book is entitled: "Why Am I Afraid To Tell You Who I Am?" It speaks to the point that until we can feel fully loved, we have to believe we are fully understood, and to be fully understood we have to have shared our darkest secrets with at least one other person.

At the level of our communities we do not share our darkest secrets but we do share the fact that we were alcoholic and that we recovered in AA. Being exposed as what we are, instead of what we want others to think we are, gives our friends and neighbors an opportunity to see and judge us in a new light.

Now they can curse us, laugh at us, or ignore us. Unfortunately, this is what most AA's think will happen. Not so. Invariably they come and congratulate us on our recovery and compliment us on our new lifestyle. After hearing this from a throng of neighbors and friends we come to believe and accept that we are OK, alcoholism and all. This is the situation we must create for ourselves if we are to walk in the sunlight of the spirit.

It is in this manner that we demonstrate the principles of AA in our daily lives for others to see and judge. If they like what they see, and if they or one of their friends needs help, they can come to us or go directly to AA. It sounds so simple to be saying this but this is the primary way we carry the message.