Acceptance

[BaBa OReiley]

There are things that are, and then there are things that really are. Some things you change. Your behavior is at the top of that list. But what causes the greater consternation is the unending number of things we cannot change. Specifically, other people's attitudes and behaviors are among the myriad of things that we can't control, but really wish we could sometimes.

Who hasn't wished that he or she couldn't change another's mind to his/her way of thinking? Most of us have. Sports fans wonder how it is possible to root for an arch rival. Religious adherents would not doubt love to be able to convert others with this kind of control. And let's not even mention politics.

But serenity can be found in accepting what you cannot change about others. Hence the prayer many of us probably already know:

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

After everything is said and done, we are left with the decision to accept the unchangeable things in this world. I can talk to my boss until I am blue in the face, but I cannot make him give me a raise. And the faster I accept that I cannot make him pay me what I consider to be fair, the sooner I can focus my efforts on things I can change, like finding fulfillment in my job, in my home life and in every aspect of my life.

Acceptance is hard. Instinctively, we want to correct, convince and control. But the gift of peace and serenity that comes from knowing you have done all you can far exceeds any benefit that could be derived from changing someone else. A good strategy is the simplest one. Just do it. You can change your behavior and let your feelings sort themselves out as time progresses. Good luck.