Denial's Death - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

retribution · 01-12-2005, 02:49 PM

Denial’s Death
January 12, 2005

Wearing the black stain of glaring sin
The truth spilling out from deep within
Stripped of the comfort of denial
Walking exposed down life’s aisle

Blame falls heavily where it belongs
Rage starts screaming in mad songs
Fighting the illness and feeling irate
Thoughts become daggers of hate

Riding the wave from crest to crash
High and fruitful with actions rash
Now falling towards the rocky shore
Stability to be found… Nevermore

Ebb and flow of regaining control
Along the shore emotions stroll
Running erratic from here to there
Shouting to others to please beware

Icy fingers freeze the beating heart
As sanity and insanity sadly part
Mad addiction sports a sharp tooth
Realization bites with blinding truth

Reflection in the water shows the fear
Acceptance of reality is coming near
Caught in between, fighting for breath
Faced with the last act…Denial’s death

CAPTAINZING2000 · 01-19-2005, 10:59 AM

that is dark. It's good to get those feelings out. When, did you write that?

retribution · 01-19-2005, 08:35 PM

I wrote this the day after I stopped using. The day I realized that I was an addict, and thank you Chris for reading and commenting.

CAPTAINZING2000 · 01-19-2005, 08:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by retribution

I wrote this the day after I stopped using. The day I realized that I was an addict.

People stuggle their entire lives and wont admit they are powerless. Oncwe we do, we can take steps to get ourselves well. I do love the line the delusion we are like other men

I can't ever imagine trying to do drugs like normal people. I had such enormous guilt when, I used drugs did you??

retribution · 01-20-2005, 02:40 AM

Guilt was my constant companion, I swear I had to rent an extra room for it. :-) I am finding that one of the most upbeat things about my new way of life, is the absolute weightlessness I am feeling from the abscence of the heaviness of guilt. There is one thing I have learned, If we stop doing things we feel guilty for, the guilt goes away. It is as simple as that.

RealLady000 · 01-20-2005, 09:32 AM

Absolutely Beautiful

retribution · 01-20-2005, 10:21 AM

Thank you so much Lady, I am feeling so blessed these days.

_If_ · 01-20-2005, 04:05 PM

WOW! That gave me chills and goosebumps! Denial...... that's kinda like the way I clean my house (j/k) - take all the mess, throw it in the closet, use all my strength to close and lock the door, and *bing* its not there! Only things is - one day I ran outta closets....

retribution · 01-20-2005, 04:49 PM

Thank you so much If, I have done the exact same thing, Oh I learned another great trick, under beds and couches is a great place to hide things also when you run out of closets.

01-12-2005, 02:49 PM	#1 (permalink)
retribution Tobi Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Mastic, New York Posts: 102	Denial's Death Denial’s Death January 12, 2005 Wearing the black stain of glaring sin The truth spilling out from deep within Stripped of the comfort of denial Walking exposed down life’s aisle Blame falls heavily where it belongs Rage starts screaming in mad songs Fighting the illness and feeling irate Thoughts become daggers of hate Riding the wave from crest to crash High and fruitful with actions rash Now falling towards the rocky shore Stability to be found… Nevermore Ebb and flow of regaining control Along the shore emotions stroll Running erratic from here to there Shouting to others to please beware Icy fingers freeze the beating heart As sanity and insanity sadly part Mad addiction sports a sharp tooth Realization bites with blinding truth Reflection in the water shows the fear Acceptance of reality is coming near Caught in between, fighting for breath Faced with the last act…Denial’s death

01-19-2005, 10:59 AM	#2 (permalink)
CAPTAINZING2000 Thankful for our Veterans Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: ILLINOIS Posts: 8,161 Blog Entries: 1	that is dark. It's good to get those feelings out. When, did you write that? __________________ LIFE IS GOD'S GIFT TO YOU WHAT YOU DO WITH YOUR LIFE IS YOUR GIFT TO GOD J - Jesus first O - Others next Y - Yourself last John 14:6

01-20-2005, 09:32 AM	#6 (permalink)
RealLady000 ~Lady~ Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Witch Still Casting Circles to the Winds Posts: 24	Absolutely Beautiful __________________ Blessed Be and Many Many Hugs, ~Lady~ "Approach without fear, you who know me in your Heart"

01-20-2005, 04:05 PM	#8 (permalink)
_If_ Member Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: The Road Not Taken Posts: 40	WOW! That gave me chills and goosebumps! Denial...... that's kinda like the way I clean my house (j/k) - take all the mess, throw it in the closet, use all my strength to close and lock the door, and bing its not there! Only things is - one day I ran outta closets.... __________________ "Sed fugit interea, fugit irreparabile tempus" - Virgil

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01-19-2005, 08:35 PM	#3 (permalink)
retribution Tobi Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Mastic, New York Posts: 102	I wrote this the day after I stopped using. The day I realized that I was an addict, and thank you Chris for reading and commenting.

01-20-2005, 02:40 AM	#5 (permalink)
retribution Tobi Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Mastic, New York Posts: 102	Guilt was my constant companion, I swear I had to rent an extra room for it. :-) I am finding that one of the most upbeat things about my new way of life, is the absolute weightlessness I am feeling from the abscence of the heaviness of guilt. There is one thing I have learned, If we stop doing things we feel guilty for, the guilt goes away. It is as simple as that.

01-20-2005, 10:21 AM	#7 (permalink)
retribution Tobi Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Mastic, New York Posts: 102	Thank you so much Lady, I am feeling so blessed these days.

01-20-2005, 04:49 PM	#9 (permalink)
retribution Tobi Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Mastic, New York Posts: 102	Thank you so much If, I have done the exact same thing, Oh I learned another great trick, under beds and couches is a great place to hide things also when you run out of closets.

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