For the surrogate father to my children

[Alongtimegone]

I carve a large portion of white, dripping juicy
Turkey meat off the breast and can’t help but think
Of that portion of brain you once had that was carved away.

Nothing to chew and swallow, or even nibble on – instead
A tumor - defective. A piece of you removed to save
A bigger part of you. Those who love you murmur: “Is he
Still there?� behind your back and make their own secret

Pysch evals. You’ve done so many on others what exquisite
Silver knife is plunged into your unwilling flesh when we do the
Same to you? Not just by one knife, but three.

I always knew that which I didn’t want to - she shared you
With the other two. One partnered by a weathered
Old home changed into an office of ideals and beliefs for
Saving the children, some of whom have long since left single digits.

And then there is me the first wife to bail – brought to you by
A fatherless daughter who snatched herself baldheaded. Self-punishment
For sins that were not her own. You were there when she went to Oz

We both saw the man behind the curtain, a shared insanity that the
Blankets of minimization and denial forbade us to climb beneath. I left
Because of love, not in spite of it – a dead infant’s pale face imbedded
In the wake of a boat I nearly jumped overboard to avoid driving.

Another swallowed in the green foamy waves as I looked on – the guilt
Of having saved myself the kelp that once bound me, held me under – ****
The surface - the superficial, the right and wrong, the coward and the hero.

I left because of love, and have returned, shivering, soaked to the bone,
Dehydrated kelp clinging to aged wrinkled skin – I will drive now - because
Of love, because of you, I can.