Letter To My Higher Power - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

tryintohelp · 07-27-2004, 07:47 AM

Dear God,

Please help me. I'm lying on the cold, wet ground, holding on for dear life to my son's wrists. You see, he is falling off a "cliff" and if he falls, he will die. I'm getting tired, and he's getting heavier. I just don't know how much longer I can hold on. Even though my arms ache, I've got to hold him up.

I've always been the strong one, but am I trying to "play God"? That's your role, God, not mine. It seems hard for me to trust that you can take better care of him than I. I heard in Naranon that I should "Let Go and Let God", and I really want to try, but I'm afraid. You may not catch him and let him die.

I'm so cold and weary. I'm losing ground and getting weaker by the minute. Oh, why won't I let go? I seem to want everything in "contract form". Yet, if I don't let go, eventually we'll BOTH fall and DIE. Why do I think I'm so powerful....that I can do it alone and handle everything?

I know I'm wasting a lot of time and energy by hanging on. There is so much I could be doing. I feel drained, and all my energy is concentrated on pulling him up. I have no goals for me...no future. I haven't laughed or played in a long, long time. I know I would have tremendous freedom if I would only let go. Freedom to be my own person, and take time for and care for myself. Someone told me to "have Faith". I've got to have faith, because I know I can no longer hold on.

I found temporary relief by switching arms and giving one a rest, but I know that letting go is the permanant solution I'm looking for. I'm getting desperate. I'm a mess--dirty, exhausted, and a nervous wreck. How can I take care of someone else when I can't even take care of myself? My way doesn't work. I can't do it any longer. Deep inside God, I know You can take better care of him than I can. You will watch him, won't You?

I think I know what powerless means now, and my life is certainly unmanageable. I realize I'm not able to control the world around me, let alone my son. I know You know what's best for me and my loved ones, and You love me as I am, with all my faults. I need to accept help from others in the Program. I don't have to do it alone. Striving for honesty, openness, and willingness, I know I can make it.

I surrender right this minute, making a decision to turn my will and my life over to Your care, as I understand You. I pray for the knowledge of Your Will for me, and the power to carry that out.

May Thy Will be done, not mine. With a sigh of relief, I now LET GO!
THANK GOD!

Dan · 07-27-2004, 08:56 AM

Wow...
Thank you.

**Ann** · 07-27-2004, 04:43 PM

Amen, from a mom who has been on that cliff.

KelKel · 07-27-2004, 04:57 PM

Your words really touched my heart....thank you

One for you....

One for your son....

sunrise34 · 07-27-2004, 06:19 PM

Like Dan said, "Wow". That really hit so close to home! It really makes me think of letting go in a different way. In a way that means, I must.

Thank you.

survivor · 07-27-2004, 06:25 PM

Powerful! Thanks for sharing it.

Hopefloats · 07-27-2004, 08:06 PM

I hope everyone has the chance to read this.
Thank you...and many, many prayers and I know that YOUR prayer will be heard...
God Bless!!!
(((Hugs)))
HOPE255

iamunique · 07-27-2004, 08:34 PM

I am Moved. You just told my life's story for the past 11 years. God hears Us All. HUGS

gracee · 08-05-2004, 07:04 AM

Thank you for writing and posting this.
This had the biggest impact on my and was the prayer I held to most tightly as I let go of my son.
My son is still out there, but I've got to trust that God is going to take better care of him than I can.
Thanks for sharing.

08-05-2004, 10:31 AM

Thank you, Tryintohelp....I made a copy for my sister-in-law and brother...they are getting close to having to let go of their son if he doesn't change his ways.
I'm sorry you and others have to suffer so. There's nothing worse than losing a child...no matter what the circumstances are. I hope you have found some peace in your life and are able to share your pain with others.

Muf · 08-05-2004, 12:07 PM

From a mom who it trying to hang on ,but trying to stop the rolecoaster in her life,I know I can't safe him,but letting go is so hard,I'm really trying hard,thank you for this post
Muf

cwohio · 08-05-2004, 12:28 PM

all i can say is......awesome!

cwohio

Ann25 · 08-05-2004, 12:47 PM

Thank You!!!!!!!!!

eveie · 08-14-2004, 04:41 PM

WOW, that was awesome, Im standing up , giving you a standing ovation!

nate · 10-15-2004, 10:38 PM

Just what I needed to read tonight. My AH is out using bigtime. Now I can go to bed and get some rest.

Thanks tryintohelp!

mayra · 11-05-2004, 06:42 PM

" It is not the load that breaks us down, it is the way we carry it"
Thank You ,I also need it.

07-27-2004, 07:47 AM	#1 (permalink)
tryintohelp Member Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Pittsburgh PA Posts: 59	Letter To My Higher Power Dear God, Please help me. I'm lying on the cold, wet ground, holding on for dear life to my son's wrists. You see, he is falling off a "cliff" and if he falls, he will die. I'm getting tired, and he's getting heavier. I just don't know how much longer I can hold on. Even though my arms ache, I've got to hold him up. I've always been the strong one, but am I trying to "play God"? That's your role, God, not mine. It seems hard for me to trust that you can take better care of him than I. I heard in Naranon that I should "Let Go and Let God", and I really want to try, but I'm afraid. You may not catch him and let him die. I'm so cold and weary. I'm losing ground and getting weaker by the minute. Oh, why won't I let go? I seem to want everything in "contract form". Yet, if I don't let go, eventually we'll BOTH fall and DIE. Why do I think I'm so powerful....that I can do it alone and handle everything? I know I'm wasting a lot of time and energy by hanging on. There is so much I could be doing. I feel drained, and all my energy is concentrated on pulling him up. I have no goals for me...no future. I haven't laughed or played in a long, long time. I know I would have tremendous freedom if I would only let go. Freedom to be my own person, and take time for and care for myself. Someone told me to "have Faith". I've got to have faith, because I know I can no longer hold on. I found temporary relief by switching arms and giving one a rest, but I know that letting go is the permanant solution I'm looking for. I'm getting desperate. I'm a mess--dirty, exhausted, and a nervous wreck. How can I take care of someone else when I can't even take care of myself? My way doesn't work. I can't do it any longer. Deep inside God, I know You can take better care of him than I can. You will watch him, won't You? I think I know what powerless means now, and my life is certainly unmanageable. I realize I'm not able to control the world around me, let alone my son. I know You know what's best for me and my loved ones, and You love me as I am, with all my faults. I need to accept help from others in the Program. I don't have to do it alone. Striving for honesty, openness, and willingness, I know I can make it. I surrender right this minute, making a decision to turn my will and my life over to Your care, as I understand You. I pray for the knowledge of Your Will for me, and the power to carry that out. May Thy Will be done, not mine. With a sigh of relief, I now LET GO! THANK GOD!

07-27-2004, 04:43 PM	#3 (permalink)
Ann Forum Leader Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: By The Lake Posts: 25,173	Amen, from a mom who has been on that cliff. __________________ “Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” ~Winnie the Pooh~

07-27-2004, 08:34 PM	#8 (permalink)
iamunique suffering is not a requirement Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: rising above the ashes Posts: 104	Thank you I am Moved. You just told my life's story for the past 11 years. God hears Us All. HUGS

08-05-2004, 07:04 AM	#9 (permalink)
gracee Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Lincoln, NE Posts: 2	Thank you for writing and posting this. This had the biggest impact on my and was the prayer I held to most tightly as I let go of my son. My son is still out there, but I've got to trust that God is going to take better care of him than I can. Thanks for sharing. __________________ "I just try to laugh at whatever life brings. If I look down I just miss all the good stuff, If I look up I just trip over things." ~ani difranco

08-05-2004, 12:47 PM	#13 (permalink)
Ann25 Still hangin` on... Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: MA Posts: 337	Thank You!!!!!!!!! __________________ "Our greastest glory consists not in ever falling, but rising everytime we fall." -Confucius

07-27-2004, 08:56 AM	#2 (permalink)
Dan Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 8,710	Wow... Thank you.

07-27-2004, 04:57 PM	#4 (permalink)
KelKel Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: The Mohave Desert Posts: 2,307	Your words really touched my heart....thank you One for you.... One for your son....

07-27-2004, 06:19 PM	#5 (permalink)
sunrise34 Member Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Lost Posts: 22	Like Dan said, "Wow". That really hit so close to home! It really makes me think of letting go in a different way. In a way that means, I must. Thank you.

07-27-2004, 06:25 PM	#6 (permalink)
survivor Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Houston, TX Posts: 14	Powerful! Thanks for sharing it.

07-27-2004, 08:06 PM	#7 (permalink)
Hopefloats Member Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: With Good Spirit Posts: 378	I hope everyone has the chance to read this. Thank you...and many, many prayers and I know that YOUR prayer will be heard... God Bless!!! (((Hugs))) HOPE255

08-05-2004, 10:31 AM	#10 (permalink)
peace2u Guest Posts: n/a	Thank you, Tryintohelp....I made a copy for my sister-in-law and brother...they are getting close to having to let go of their son if he doesn't change his ways. I'm sorry you and others have to suffer so. There's nothing worse than losing a child...no matter what the circumstances are. I hope you have found some peace in your life and are able to share your pain with others.

08-05-2004, 12:07 PM	#11 (permalink)
Muf Member Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Kelowna,Canada B.C. Posts: 46	From a mom who it trying to hang on ,but trying to stop the rolecoaster in her life,I know I can't safe him,but letting go is so hard,I'm really trying hard,thank you for this post Muf

08-05-2004, 12:28 PM	#12 (permalink)
cwohio Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Litterbox City Posts: 6,142	all i can say is......awesome! cwohio

08-14-2004, 04:41 PM	#14 (permalink)
eveie I've Taken My Life Back!! Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Montana Posts: 106	WOW, that was awesome, Im standing up , giving you a standing ovation! __________________ Eveie "Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away."

10-15-2004, 10:38 PM	#15 (permalink)
nate Member Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Ontario, Canada Posts: 1	Just what I needed to read tonight. My AH is out using bigtime. Now I can go to bed and get some rest. Thanks tryintohelp!

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11-05-2004, 06:42 PM	#16 (permalink)
mayra chiquita Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Spider web Posts: 44	" It is not the load that breaks us down, it is the way we carry it" Thank You ,I also need it. __________________ ' Victory is won not in miles but in inches. Win a little now, hold your ground, and later, win a little more" L. L'Amour

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