Make Do

[phoenix]

Found this on another site....

The "Make Do" Woman

When I was preparing to get married, I started getting all sorts of
advice especially at bridal showers and things like that from family and friends.

But one of the most interesting "lessons" came from a woman I met for the first time, just a few weeks before the big day.

She said, "Honey, whatever you do, don't ever let yourself become a "make-do" woman" I had no idea what she meant, but, of course, she was about to explain

She continued, "men" don't deny themselves anything. Whatever they want to buy, they buy. Whatever they want to do, they do. Meanwhile, there is the wife, making do with her hair not being done, her clothes from yesteryear, her nails in need, never had a pedicure, scraping the bottom of her tube of lipstick! Oh, I could go on and on with how "we" make do.

And why? Because the car needs fixing, this bill is behind, we have to use our time to take care of this, or take care of that; we're saving for this, working, cooking, cleaning, raising, etc." She warned me to never become a make-do woman, because she says if you start, it is hard to stop and one could easily find themselves making-do for the rest of their lives.


I vowed it would never happen to me. I didn't think much more of the conversation until one day, I began to take notice, she was right. Men are a lot better at being good to themselves. Some call it being selfish, there has to be another word for it. Tell me if you know.

Whatever you call it. It does have it's place. When they want to play ball, or golf, or fish, they go! When they want to buy clothes, or equipment, or video games, or whatever their "thing" is, they buy! Have you ever tried to stop one? Has anyone ever been able to stop one? Let me know! When I look around, I see a whole heap of make-do women, married or not, with or without children, they are all over the place!

I have decided that I am going to make my best effort to become a "make-time" woman! I will make the time to do what I need to do to be good to myself, whether that's a trip to the salon, or the gym or the mall.(or to ride my motorcycle )

This time I'm gonna take a lesson from the guys! All right ladies, single and married... Let's NOT be "MAKE-DO" Women!

Let's LOVE OURSELVES and ENCOURAGE each other!..... Pass it on! It's something we could all appreciate.

phoenix

[2stop]

Amen sister!!! Excellent advice..to be a make-time woman!!!!!

[ashlady2]

I'm 52yrs old and I want to thank you for this message of wisdom, I've been wanting to join a healt club for years but allways the kids or home need something. I am on my way out to join thank you

[dnswwood]

this is good advise for women who are married or with a man that acts like this.I am a happily married man and my wife comes before me,I am the "make-do" person in this family.I do this because I enjoy giving my wife whatever it is that she needs or wants.
I think it would be better advise for women to find a man that doesnt want a make do wife.Personally I think that all men should put their spouses first and themselves second.Yes i do go out and buy things that i want when i want to ,but i always make sure my wife's needs and wants are met beforehand.
Now I wasnt always this way but through vigilance in my AA program I have learned that it is much more rewarding to Give rather than recieve.Just a reminder to women ,Not all men are like the above description!!!

[Ann]

Great thread, Pheonix.

I, too, was a make-do woman for many years. My husband and son both came first and the responsibilty fell on me.

Today I am a "make-time" woman, and when I became that way I realized that the only thing holding me back was ME. Nobody else told me I came last, I told myself that.

And hot diggety dog, I love it.

So any "make-do's" out there....the next make-do is making yourself do something nice just for you. You're worth it!!

Hugs
Ann

[californiacarla]

Okay, I agree, however much I have become a make-do G/F.

I should re-read and all of us (you) should read Ayn Rand, "The Virtue of Selfishness"

I really like her concept on sacrifice. I always sort of understood her view, yet the majority of people out there think it something else. Once I read this book , alongwith her others; it (she) confirmed my beliefs on sacrifice. Sort of like the "irony' I mentioned in the "10 for 10".

enuf ramblin's...

C