A mother's letter, to her children.

[jandy3]

I feel so bad for the innocent children that have to reap the damages of parents choices.

I was a raised in a house full of hidden addictions. As an adult I looked to fix a husband that had a hidden addiction. When all my efforts failed I too fell into "addiction's" hands. As I work on staying clean and sober I plead with the strength rebuild our "glass house"... (I don't want them to be "broken" adults...)

I look back at over the years,

I thought that we had it all

people that glanced, envied us.

we where the perfect family

or at least the illusion of one.


then our glass house shattered.

and our world crumbled

The man of the house

had fallen...

into the web of addiction, he was lost


I tried and tried to pick up the shattered pieces

as two, but.....

with blood dripping from my hands,

I had to let go of us, now just one.
oozing with infected blood

single and alone
Scared and struggling to provide.


I fell short

I had to stop feeling everything
I had to become numb,
just to walk through each day

A Robot going through the all motions
that is all I knew how to do

I am so sorry.......
I made you all stop feeling too

I still cant stop the images
small innocent eyes
begging for the answers,

small beating hearts
begging me
to be what they needed me to be

a mother........


I couldn't handle one more drop of sadness
not one more tear, not one more bleeding hand

I became an enclosed monster, with nothing left
no more tears no more emotions
no more happiness
meant no more falls,


No more trust meant
No more broken glass...........



(I am so sorry my children, but.....
look outside now,
the sun is shinning again!)

Jenady Leigh Revill

[jandy3]

If I could have edited the first post I would have. This song fits perfectly IMHO with the letter...

[Latte]

That is beautiful.

Thank you.

[jandy3]

you ae very welcome..

[Toomutch]

The poem gave me chills - so many simalarities

[jandy3]

Thank you for taking the time to read. Is that you in your avatar?

[Astro]

Beautiful, thank you for sharing this Jenady. I took the liberty of substituting the word "father" for "mother" and it mirrored so many of my experiences as a parent.

It wasn't that long ago that I'd broken both of my childrens noses while playing with them. I let my daughter fall off a changing table when she was an infant. Both of my kids were shaken mercilessly when they cried while I was suffering from my usual hangovers. I used to excuse those things away as accidents, but I understand now that they were abused at the hands of an alcoholic.

I'm sooooo excited about being with them on Christmas morning, sharing the love and excitement that's almost become normal in lives. But the greatest gift I could have as a father is having our relationship restored, and having the chance to be the parent that every child deserves to have. I owe that to God and AA.

[jandy3]

Originally Posted by Astro

Beautiful, thank you for sharing this Jenady. I took the liberty of substituting the word "father" for "mother" and it mirrored so many of my experiences as a parent.

It wasn't that long ago that I'd broken both of my childrens noses while playing with them. I let my daughter fall off a changing table when she was an infant. Both of my kids were shaken mercilessly when they cried while I was suffering from my usual hangovers. I used to excuse those things away as accidents, but I understand now that they were abused at the hands of an alcoholic.

I'm sooooo excited about being with them on Christmas morning, sharing the love and excitement that's almost become normal in lives. But the greatest gift I could have as a father is having our relationship restored, and having the chance to be the parent that every child deserves to have. I owe that to God and AA.

I am so glad that things are better for you now... Sobriety is the best!

[fraankie]

addictions
imagine growing up in a paranoid neighborhood