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| | #1 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 20
| A mother's letter, to her children.
I feel so bad for the innocent children that have to reap the damages of parents choices. I was a raised in a house full of hidden addictions. As an adult I looked to fix a husband that had a hidden addiction. When all my efforts failed I too fell into "addiction's" hands. As I work on staying clean and sober I plead with the strength rebuild our "glass house"... (I don't want them to be "broken" adults...) ![]() I look back at over the years, I thought that we had it all people that glanced, envied us. we where the perfect family or at least the illusion of one. then our glass house shattered. and our world crumbled The man of the house had fallen... into the web of addiction, he was lost I tried and tried to pick up the shattered pieces as two, but..... with blood dripping from my hands, I had to let go of us, now just one. oozing with infected blood single and alone Scared and struggling to provide. I fell short I had to stop feeling everything I had to become numb, just to walk through each day A Robot going through the all motions that is all I knew how to do I am so sorry....... I made you all stop feeling too I still cant stop the images small innocent eyes begging for the answers, small beating hearts begging me to be what they needed me to be a mother........ I couldn't handle one more drop of sadness not one more tear, not one more bleeding hand I became an enclosed monster, with nothing left no more tears no more emotions no more happiness meant no more falls, No more trust meant No more broken glass........... (I am so sorry my children, but..... look outside now, the sun is shinning again!) Jenady Leigh Revill |
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| | #3 (permalink) |
| I love my Coastie and 44 MLB's Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Coos Bay, OR
Posts: 2,095
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That is beautiful. Thank you.
__________________ I am so thankful for my sobriety Dios me da la Sernidad Para acceptar las cosas que no puedo cambiar La fuerza para cambiar las que si puedo y la Sabidura para reconocer la diferencia |
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| | #5 (permalink) |
| with a new light in my eyes Join Date: May 2007 Location: Littleton, Co.
Posts: 3,178
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The poem gave me chills - so many simalarities
__________________ The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, not to worry about the future, or not to anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly. |
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| | #7 (permalink) |
| Forum Leader Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 11,833
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Beautiful, thank you for sharing this Jenady. I took the liberty of substituting the word "father" for "mother" and it mirrored so many of my experiences as a parent. It wasn't that long ago that I'd broken both of my childrens noses while playing with them. I let my daughter fall off a changing table when she was an infant. Both of my kids were shaken mercilessly when they cried while I was suffering from my usual hangovers. I used to excuse those things away as accidents, but I understand now that they were abused at the hands of an alcoholic. I'm sooooo excited about being with them on Christmas morning, sharing the love and excitement that's almost become normal in lives. But the greatest gift I could have as a father is having our relationship restored, and having the chance to be the parent that every child deserves to have. I owe that to God and AA.
__________________ "Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty, and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming---*WOW-What a ride*!" |
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| | #8 (permalink) | |
| Member Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 20
| Quote:
Sobriety is the best! | |
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