Just a thought :-)

[Stimmed]

Hey folks.

A few years ago i was having a drink on my own as i usually did. This was a habit because of the state i trying to get myself in, blasted, but could help it.
Anyway... i thought all kinds of things, as is another habit of mine. One thought in paticular has hard stamped itself on my mind and i think its permanent.

The thought was... "what is the biggest most largest thing known?"

Quickly i thought, the universe, and so began to think about it, as much as i could and as indepth as my knowledge would allow. With headfones on playing a selection of my favourite tunes and swilling fortified wine from the bottle, i completely wondered off in my head. It was great, or so i thought.
After hours of thinking and not to far from being smashed something occured to me, a strange concept.

If i can grasp the concept of how big the universe is then, where is that concept?... It was in my mind!
Going back briefly to early learning, we remember simple concepts of, a box and maybe a toy. The toy is smaller than the box and will fit inside... Eureka!!

So im afraid that since then, i cannot see it any other way, and that is... my mind is bigger than the universe!... cool!, and then drank myself stupid and passed out loosely clutching a half of whiskey. When i woke up i was gutted to find the state i was in, full of cigarrette ash that had burnt my clothes and the seat i was in, food i couldnt remember eating mingled with it, and had dried up into the carpet making a real mess. However when i came round a bit i remembered my thought, and all then seemed a little more worth it.

This was around four years ago and iv been on and off the wagon since, with my current stint at three months. Sometimes things happen to people that change their lives, i have to say that was mine and im glad of it. My times on the wagon are getting easier, my longest was a year, after a year of starts and stops. The trouble is, when i get myself all well and back on form i foolishly start drinking again.
The point im trying to make is this... A frame of mind is not given the credit it deserves sometimes, and so will power can be ignored and left redundant. The power of thought channelled in the right direction i believe is stronger than medicine. That is not to say though that its a substitute for people who take meds, i wouldnt dream of presuming im a doctor, God no. But i think its a pretty well known saying, the one, "positive thought", is and can be amazing in my opinion.
So if i could be so bold and say... You have the most powerful tool in all the universe inside you, give it credit and credited youre life will be. I really believe that.

This is not meant that drinking or what ever a persons fix may be will inspire you to a cure or something great, but simply, you are capable of thinking positivley on youre own. So for that reason, poeple in recovery, including myself, should try and address their frame for what it actually is and why, instead of ridding yourself of it asap with a hit. That is the hard part i know but we go to start somewhere right? Why not there.

I hope all this has made sense to you good people, i dont think for a second it is above anyone, but ive been told my spelling and syntax is "pants!", heh so fingers crossed!

Im new here so... Hi! :atv