If Only

[KELS1961]

will you ever know how much i loved you.
In the begining so much love and joy so many plans
You told me I was your everything and I believed
The touch of your hand a kiss from your lips
We were both two lonley souls when we met
Funny thing is things do not last
Before I knew it things began to change
You would be tipsy with drink no big deal only a couple of beers
Before I knew it I saw the real you hidden bottles all over the house
The smell of booze a horrible stench
Your mad rages at me I trembling tiptoeing around you
Calling me vile names when you said you loved me
stumbling around acting a fool lying for you not wanting anyone to know
The sickness afterwards throwing up shaking like a leaf sleeping for days
Then the sober you would reapear never wanting to discuss what had happened
I was foolish I always stayed he will do better I would say I am his everything
Finally the day came when I knew I was not your everything
I had to let you go for my own sanity I really do not know you
You have your bottle all to yourself she is really your everything
You broke my heart you are a broken man but I am powerless
I can not fix you I tried but that is up to you
I cry for what could have been what should have been
I remember the man I first met and those first happy months
Now you are just a drunk all alone I cry for you and your pitful life
I am starting a new life but in my heart you will always be.
If only to many what ifs
May you find your peace someday