not much of a poet but thought I'd share anyway

[liesagain]

I keep reading that its good to journal and get your thoughts out...............
today I tried to write a poem to AH whos in treatment................its not great but its what I was thinking and feeling so ................

In the beginning, right back from the start
We knew we were meant to be together we could feel it in our hearts

We had dreams and devotion, a life built on love we believed in our
Hearts we’d always rise above.

Refusing to believe the years ahead could bring pain we lived in a fantasy
where love erased pain. Your addiction did not scare us we thought is was beat
never in our wildest dreams did we imagine this was a fate we would meet.

As life unfolded and problems became clear
we began drifting apart leaving behind all that was dear

Lies, secrets and pain gradually entered our hearts
soon we no longer had the connection we shared from the start

No longer connected happy and free somewhere along
we lost you and me

Yet thru all the disappointments and pain, we still held on.
This life and our family had become our lasting bond

With all that was lacking often times wondering why
we couldn’t just give up and let this marriage die

Maybe we should have ended it and put it to rest,
We could tell ourselves that we did our best

“We tried and we failed” this could be our end
But I am not ready to let go of my lover and friend

The man that I love, that one that does care
I know he’s still in there hiding somewhere
Buried deep under the disease he struggles to get free
back to the life and man he knows he can be

It’s your disease of addiction that’s tearing us apart
It tells you to think with your brain not with your heart
Promises all broken were difficult to keep,
your disease didn’t die it just went to sleep

Waiting to tell you there’s nothing left for you to gain
It waited to step back in and bring its pain

Your life, your family all the goals you achieved
Nothings important it wants to deceive
Convincing you that you’re nothing and
There’s nothing you should keep
it wants to bury the best parts of you way down deep

Your disease works day and night to make you believe
That using the drug will bring your relief

It planted seeds of guilt shame and doubt
Telling you that your loved ones you can do without
It wants to take you body and soul
Never allowing you to feel whole

Your disease of addiction, by now we both know as real
It lies and it tells you that you don’t want to feel

It tells you to lie, to cheat and to steal
It tells you just one hit and you won’t have to deal

Your addiction wants you to suffer and to die alone
It wants to take from you from your wife family and home

You don’t have to listen our dreams can come true
It’s not going to be an easy fight but the answers in you

A life built together and dreams that we share I have no control
No matter how much I love, try or care
this is your fight, your fight alone

It’s a fight you must win for our dreams to come true
A fight not just for our family but one that should be won for YOU

So when you feel down and feel there’s no way
To beat your addiction and keep it at bay
Remember were here, loving you still awaiting the day
That our life together will again be real

And when the addiction starts calling your name
Remember to tell him you WONT play his game
Your done with his misery his guilt and his shame

The call will still come, this much they say is true
But the decision to Not answer is still up to you

Just tell him your done finished for sure
Despite his best efforts you can endure

His call may be strong but you can get thru
You have the strength deep inside you
It can be tough but know in your heart
Saying no to its call is the first start

The prize for the struggle may not always be grand
But when you can look at your own eyes and love that man
You’ll know it is worth any struggle each and every day
To do what it takes to keep your addiction at bay

Staying that man that you’re proud to be
Living a life full of love and hope with your family

[itisatruth]

Hi Liesagain

I think the way you wrote was great. I have never been able to share openly in person with anyone, so I also used writing as a way to express my feelings. I think I have written a whole book by now!!

What you wrote was so honest, so real. Thank you for putting your time and heart into it. I hope he can understand as much of it as I can.