another poem

[igetallnumb]

I dont need you tonight
You give me false hope you offer pseudo light
I dont want you at all
You never helped me rise only helped my downfall
If i was made to fly I would have been given wings
I no longer need this fix or any type of thing
You cant bully me and make me feel small
I dont need to use you to feel six feet tall
I dont need you tonight
I dont need you at all

[igetallnumb]

As I walk along this path I see nothing but dark skies
Illuminated in the moonlight I see a glimmer of steps past
I look down
Are they yours?
It cant be I lost you long ago
You must be so ashamed of me
I keep walking on towards a destination I have yet to discover
I know I must travel on
Past the velvet ropes and crystal chandeliers of nights long forgotten
This body grows tired but the soul is strong
My steps merge with yours
Our paths making love to each other
I have yet to know if its you
My skin starts to quiver as I walk on
The air kissing the hairs on the back of my neck , waking them
The moom seems closer then it did before and the sky is becomming less black
My eyes have yet to be kissed by the sun
Would I know it if it kissed me?
My body pushes further, not slowing down as my soul lights the way
The thumping inside my chest intriges me
Am I alive?
I see something in the distasnce
Waving me in
It looks so familair looks like it could be home
Its a figure but of whom Im not sure
The wind is surging my body forward almost as if im flying and not walking
I reach out and touch this dark figure in the night
As the sun begins to wake in the night sky
I see this figure finally
Its me
Its who I used to be
The me I thought I lost
In the night the cold damp dark I found her
She is exactly how I remembered
Untouched untainted and so innocent
Her arms open wide and invite me inside
All of a sudden bursts of heaven float inside my ever waiting veins
The beauty of life and love replacing all the false loves of my past
As I slowly collapse she melds into me holding me for all time ...
Im finally surrounded in light .... we are one again as the sun rises
My cage is broken and we can walk on ... together ... ever forward...ever lasting ....

[scaredykat]

Another great poem!! Thanks for sharing.

Barb

[igetallnumb]

I look into your eyes
As beautiful as they ever were
They have seen so much cried so many tears
I look into them studying the size and the shape
Whats looking back at me ?
Or who?
This thing has a hold of you.
Whats inside of those eyes?
More important, whats behind them?
Did I lose you yet?
Or
Are you still here with me?
I hold you so tight griping you as you cry.
I want to take you and put you someplace safe
Sheild you from all harm
Beat this demon away
As I feel your heartbeat with mine
As you cry in the night
i hold on to you
Dear God dont let him slip tonight
In all the wonder of life
In all the questions I have to ask my maker before I die
This is the most inportant
How can I hold someone I love so much but they are so far away from me
Was does this demon win?
When does love prevail?

[igetallnumb]

looking in this dirty old bathroom mirror
I see myself
I see me a bit clearer
Through the glass
All the drugs on the shelf
Didnt think this time i could last
All I am is bones and skin
Lurking in the corner it was there
The beast within
I slayed it but its head grew back
Grabs a hold of you
Instant heart attack
The sounds in the air sound so loud now
When I come undone
It is ok now
To come undone
My hands hold the ice cold walls of my porcelain sanctuary
I slide down on my knees
Holding onto my sanity my lifes actuary
I can do this I can kill it I can get rid of this
I can get through this
I can be headed for a life of bliss
If I come undone
God let me come undone
I can hold on
If I come undone
This dirty old mirror
In this white jail cell
I can see myself clearer
And free myself from this hell

[igetallnumb]

As I look into green pools of your eyes
All I see is love
Love that has bound me
But never restrained me
I had angels wings
Once .........
I was able to fly
But you can take them now
Strip me of my wings
I want to stay on the ground
And walk with you

[scaredykat]

I like your new avatar Jen.

Barb

[igetallnumb]

When I hurt you
I never blame myself

I blame "IT"

When I cry for no reason
I never blame anything

I blame "IT"

When I use
I blame everything else

I blame "IT"

When will I blame myself?
For letting "IT" take hold of me
When will I stop hurting you?
How long must I lie to myself?
When will I finally starve this demon I satisfy?
How can "IT" be more important than you?

[igetallnumb]

I hang on the wall and see her
Shes crying again
Alone and shaking I watch her cry through my thousand eyes
Beating the walls with her white fists
Pounding and pounding screaming things I cannot understand
But I can see the anger in her heart
She sits on the floor alone
Emotions tearing her apart
I am too small to console her
Her pain is quite clear...
I wonder if she will be ok tomorrow when I am no longer here

[indigo]

beautiful, haunting words. Thank you for giving your words for us to see.

[parentrecovers]

how are you doing, jen? your poems are great, thanks for sharing. k

[igetallnumb]

Black raven hair covering her small eyes
Too meek to lift her head
Too proud to stand up and console her lowly cries
Her mind filled with dread
I lift her chin and part her hair
I see the person she wants to be
When the devils are no longer there
When will she see?
That she is that person even though evil lurks about
Thats not stupid or ugly or useless
She so beautiful there isnt any doubt
Her mind a pool of merky thoughts in a mess
I hold her and try to make her see
The things she cannot see in herself but sees in me...