husband cant sleep

[sweetgrass68]

Hi my husband cant sleep at nite. we thought it was due to some family problems we are facing. but he can sleep all day long but when it is time for bed at nite he just cant do it . Any words of wisdom for him

[indo]

Words of wisdom: Don't sleep all day?

[fluer]

Hi-
I am sorry to hear that. It is so awful to have your sleep routine disturbed. I have had this problem off and on over the last couple years and it can really affect every area of your life. It is so hard to feel/be emotionally and spiritually healthy when you are physically falling apart from lack of true rest. Having your days and nights turned around is no fun at all!

It is actually more common than people realize. I guess I would see if your husband would be willing to talk with you, or a therapist about what he is experiencing. I have come to realize that nightime for me as a child was the most unsafe time ever. I was not actively aware of what had taken place until recently(the trauma of what happened to me was too much for me to bear recalling and still be able to function). I hope this is not the case for your husband. If it is possible he was harmed in the night, I would help him embrace that, and help him work that through. It can be a bit complicated because it is your body remembering, and not nessecarily your mind. Even though it's terrible and I hate it, I have learned to listen to what my body is saying and help it release this terror/fear it has held in for so many years. Sometimes it is just as you said..my body will fight to stay awake at all costs but as soon as the sun starts to rise I can sleep like a baby. Talking about what happens at bedtime, among other things, has really helped in so many ways. Although I am not at the end yet, I know there will be one. I have great confidence that I will someday soon experience safety and rest at night like everyone else. I know if I had never looked further into the problem it would have likely plagued me off and on for the rest of my life.

Much love to you and your husband

[fluer]

Indo,
I am not sure if you intended to be offensive or uncompassionate in your reply, but it really felt like both to me. Not being able to sleep is not really a joke for some people. The woman stated "he just can't". Perhaps if you do not have any personal experience with something you should keep your judgements or "wisdom" to yourself.

[Fishman33]

I would talk with an expert about the sleeping problems he is having.

[ice17]

Originally Posted by fluer

I have come to realize that nightime for me as a child was the most unsafe time ever.

Fluer, what you said helped me so much. I never realised part of my insomnia has to do with when i was younger and my alcoholic dad would often fight with my mom late at night. It was an unsafe time for me and i would be too tense to sleep. Thank you for your post.

[goneriding]

My husband and I have this exact same schedule. He sleeps at night and I during the day (but I only for 6 hours; sleeping longer than that would make me unproductive for my sober all nighter.) Plus my husband enjoys expanding across the entire bed and elbows and eyeballs don't go well together.