 |
|---|
 |
 |
 |
| | |
|
|
| |||||||
 |
| | Thread Tools | Display Modes |
12-17-2005, 01:55 PM
| #1 (permalink) |
| Member  Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Litterbox City
Posts: 6,141
| Feeling very depressed
I can't function today. Laid around most of the day - can't get out of my depression. I know it's feelings that are being dredged up from receiving the final report from the coroner on my husband's death. I just keep crying at the loss and coming home to find him in the hot tub that day. I just got off the phone with my MIL to let her know. God, it hurts so badly again to think of losing him to alcoholism! I keep praying to God to help me understand why, what happened. If I'd only come home sooner...if...if...God the pain is so unreal. I wanted so much for him to get well. It just plain sucks right now for me. Say a prayer for me please. Thank you!
__________________   Learn to write your hurts in sand. Learn to carve your blessings in stone! - Unknown  |
|      |
|
12-17-2005, 01:59 PM
| #2 (permalink) |
| Member  Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Deeeep South
Posts: 745
|
(((((cwohio))))) Oh I would love to hug you in person right now...Yes, the coroner report has made the feelings back in full force again. My dear heart, I am lighting a candle for you and your dear husband's soul. He is at peace, and I pray that you find peace in your heart and an easing of the aching that you feel. My prayers this evening are devoted to you. God Bless you my friend. You have many many who care and will pray for you here. Love and Peace, Wolfstarr |
|
| |
|
12-17-2005, 02:03 PM
| #3 (permalink) |
| Member  Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: California
Posts: 977
|
((((cwohio))))) I am so sorry for you and your loss.. You just need to take all this in one minute at a time.. it so huge. I'm praying for you.. hang in here with us!
__________________ Fake it til you make it!  |
|
| |
|
12-17-2005, 02:07 PM
| #4 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: PRESCOTT AZ
Posts: 3
|
Reading that short message makes me your husband and my wife you. I am just that. An alcholic. My wife is you, you sound like you worked on him your whole marriage to fix him, and that is what my wife of 15 years is doing with me except she is about to kick my out and let me fall on my face. She want me fixed so bad that it is effecting her health. I guess what I am trying to say is that you could not fix him he had to fix himself. I hope I can fix myself for the sake of the beautiful women like yourself and my wife that deserve all but if not 1/2 of what you gave him. Not to mention the children involved. I wish you well thank you hatinlife |
|
| |
|
12-17-2005, 02:35 PM
| #5 (permalink) |
| Member  Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Brownsburg Indiana
Posts: 63
|
Cwohio, I too wish I could reach threw and give you a hug. The emotional feelings are bound to be there…you loved him. Honey it’s not your fault. It happened. It could happen here at my house. I pray for God to spear me if at all possible. I have had to wrestle guns from my husband several times, once after kissing our daughter on the forehead telling her he loved her. Took a rope from him as he sat looking for the perfect spot to hang him. Found him passed out outside in 17 degrees. Watching him as he panics over too much drugs at one time. We can only do so much, that’s what God allows us, but in the end it’s their actions that bring the final curtain. I live with a Dr. Jekyll/ Mr. Hyde. This weekend I am lucky that Dr. Jekyll has chosen to be with me. I might not be so lucky next week. My prayers are with you. ________ Beck  |
|
| |
|
12-17-2005, 04:01 PM
| #6 (permalink) | |||
| Starting over  Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Skin city
Posts: 2,181
|
Hi there Chris, Have a big ol' ((((((( hug ))))))) Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Have another ((((((((( hug ))))))))))))) Mike :-)
__________________ Sunsets are not endings. If I have enough faith, they are beginnings. | |||
|
| |
|
12-17-2005, 04:28 PM
| #7 (permalink) |
| Honk if you're a codie!  Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: State of Codependency
Posts: 115
|
Prayers and hugs coming your way.
__________________ MamaGoose  "Our recovery is tough. We don't have to give up a drink or a substance. We have to give up our very nature. We are caregivers. It's what we do." - historyteach - |
|
| |
|
12-18-2005, 10:20 AM
| #10 (permalink) |
| notalive Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: houston tx
Posts: 3
| feeling bad also
My 20 yo daughter died last week - probably a prescription drug overdose, we think it was accidental. I don't know why that makes me feel a little better, but it does. I am just a basket case... so numb, so disconnected. All the family and friends have been a wonderful distraction, but I am enraged that she did this to me. How could she have done it? I knew she was taking a bunch of medicines from her psychiatrist, but I honestly didn't realize that she was in this kind of terrible trouble. But, bipolar, living with a (supposedly -ex) heroin addict, her life was so messy and sad.
|
|
| |
|
12-18-2005, 11:02 AM
| #11 (permalink) |
| *  Join Date: May 2005 Location: Lincolnshire, England
Posts: 461
|
Christie Know that you are always in my thoughts, if the *pond* didn't stand between us I would love to have you stay over for some TLC. ( you'd get to meet Frodo too!) Be kind to yourself my dear.
__________________ "All we have to do is to decide what to do with the time that is given to us"....................JRR Tolkien |
|
| |
|
12-18-2005, 11:35 AM
| #12 (permalink) |
| the girl can't help it  |
(((Christy))) I am hoping you can get some in person hugs. I think touch is so important for someone who is grieving. Is there any place you can go and get lots of hugs? Or how about a massage? I am so sorry that you are going thru this but, it is a natural process and unfortunatly the only way out is thru....  s....
__________________ nice has a hisssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss |
|
| |
|
12-18-2005, 04:58 PM
| #13 (permalink) | |
| Don't get undies in a bunch  Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: South Shore MA
Posts: 7,184
| Quote:
__________________ * I asked God to spare me pain. God said "No", Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and brings you closer to me.  Recovery Related Acronym B. E. S. T. = Been Enjoying Sobriety Today? | |
|
| |
|
12-18-2005, 07:49 PM
| #14 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Litterbox City
Posts: 6,141
|
i got some hugs this morning at church. yep dagged my butt out of bed and went cuz i knew i needed it. haven't done much else today, but if that was the only thing, it was the "best" thing. thanks for "hugging" me folks. beating myself up pretty bad right now.
__________________ Learn to write your hurts in sand. Learn to carve your blessings in stone! - Unknown |
|
| |
|
12-18-2005, 08:02 PM
| #15 (permalink) |
| Member  Join Date: May 2005 Location: Indianapolis
Posts: 944
|
Lots of prayers coming your way honey... <TABLE cellSpacing=3 cellPadding=0 width="95%" border=0><TBODY><TR><TD width="100%">Never Borrow Sorrow from Tomorrow</TD></TR><TR><TD width="100%">Deal only with the present, Never step into tomorrow, For God asks us just to trust Him And to never borrow sorrow- For the future is not ours to know And it may never be, So let us live and give our best And give it lavishly- For to meet tomorrow's troubles Before they are even ours Is to anticipate the Savior And to doubt His all-wise powers- So let us be content to solve Our problems one by one, Asking nothing of tomorrow Except "Thy Will be done." -- Helen Steiner Rice </TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>
__________________ "If life is a bowl of cherries; what am I always doing in the pits" - Erma Bombeck   |
|
| |
|
12-18-2005, 09:49 PM
| #17 (permalink) |
| Starting over Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Skin city
Posts: 2,181
|
Have some more ((((((((((( hugs )))))))))))))) and if you're going to do beatings, do it to the throw rugs while you're at it. No sense wasting all that energy :-) Mike :-)
__________________ Sunsets are not endings. If I have enough faith, they are beginnings. |
|
| |
|
12-19-2005, 04:11 PM
| #19 (permalink) |
| Member  Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: uk
Posts: 3,056
|
I've only just seen this. As much as I love the internet, right now I could curse the miles between us. I've not got a clue what to say and my only instinct to make you a cup of hot chocolate is useless. I really wish we could all be there for you with skin on - will you give yourself a real hard hug and know it's from me? |
|
| |
|
12-19-2005, 04:41 PM
| #21 (permalink) |
| To Life!  Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Rhode Island
Posts: 8,261
|
How ya doing today, Christie? Be well...know that you are loved. There is no need to beat yourself up. Nothing you could have done would change what he would do. You know that right? Be good to yourself, especially right now. You deserve tenderness even from yourself. Shalom...
__________________  IMAGINE |
|
| |
|
12-19-2005, 06:02 PM
| #22 (permalink) |
| Forum Leader  Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Faith~Hope~Love
Posts: 922
|
(((Christie))) I'm sorry ... the emotions can be so overwhelming. I found the 3 to 6 month period to be the hardest. The initial shock and numbness wear off, leaving nothing to cushion that raw anguish. My prayers are with you. Be easy on yourself. hugs, deedee
__________________  ~ While the light lasts I shall remember and in the darkness I shall not forget ~ |
|
| |
|
12-19-2005, 07:03 PM
| #23 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Litterbox City
Posts: 6,141
|
teach - most of me knows that but i guess there's still that crumb of non-acceptance clinging to to plate. deedee - thank you so much for your first-hand insight - it's been a painful year - losing my husband and also losing a beloved pet in may after 17 years. i will try to be easy on myself.
__________________ Learn to write your hurts in sand. Learn to carve your blessings in stone! - Unknown |
|
| |
mike (((()))