deedee? - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Wolfstarr · 03-12-2005, 06:51 PM

deedee

just have been thinking of you this past week...and praying for you.
Wanted you to know you and Mo are on my mind always...

Hugs,
Wolfstarr

03-12-2005, 07:39 PM

Me too. I'm always thinking of you and mo. I also think of washbe a lot. Do you guys remember washbe?

Love and hugs,
MG

deedee · 03-13-2005, 02:52 PM

Thanks for thinking of me Wolfie and MG. I remember Washbe and think of her every now and then, hoping that she and her son are okay.

It's been just over a month since we lost our son, and for the most part I am functioning. I feel rather numb these days and my thoughts are still so scattered. Must make lists to accomplish the simplest things and I can lose my train of thought in a heartbeat. I think I now know how someone with ADHD feels.

Mo made a comment awhile back about compartmentalizing. I didn't really understand what she meant at the time, but it's true, if I can tuck Jason and the pain that led him to this, and take it out later when I am alone, I can have a fair day and be around other people.

Sometimes I let myself envision him still on this earth, sitting at his computer, at his place. This comforts me, even while I realize what I am doing. Sometimes I would like to fast forward through the grieving process, to get away from what is in my head, to feel happiness again. Other times, I wish time would stand still, to be closer to when he was still here.

hugs,
deedee

Wolfstarr · 03-13-2005, 04:07 PM

((((deedee)))))
Good hearing from you. What you expressed here speaks volumes, about compartmentalizing and visualizing him at his computer...wanting to fast forward, and yet have time stand still.
It tells me your processes, and how you are...and for that I am so happy you wrote to let us know.
Always here for you, please know that. Daily, you are on my mind.
Peace and love,
Wolf

03-13-2005, 08:12 PM

Deedee,

I'm not very good at compartmentalizing. It seems like I have one big compartment and the biggest emotion I have pushes the rest out of the way.

Time is very strange to me through the grieving process. The pain seems like it was just yesterday, but missing their presence makes it seem like an eternity ago.

My father died 7 years ago and I still can't grasp not seeing him again. I visualize him still being here too. There are some things that are just supposed to last forever.

I get very very angry at death sometimes.

**Ann** · 03-14-2005, 06:36 PM

((DEEDEE))

Just sending love and hugs because you deserve lots of both. I think grief is something that we each have to do in the best way we can, and we have good days and bad days, but in the end I know we have peace. Wishing you peace, Deedee, and better days ahead. Healing is a process, it takes time and takes being gentle with ourselves. I wish I could make it heal faster, but that's the thing with healing, it happens a little at a time.

Hugs and Love
Amm

pedagogue · 03-15-2005, 10:07 PM

Glad you stopped back in. You are still in my prayers. When grieving...I think the goal is to get up each day and have it hurts just a little bit less. Eventually the hurt dissipates and you are left with the memories. I know every handles the process differently, but I really think the compartmentalizing is a good way to go. Many of the most noticable problems (when dealing with grief) are about the unintended consequences of the process. (Inability to focus, poor sleeping patterns, increased self-doubt, etc) Stay strong, stay connected.

-pedagogue

Live · 03-16-2005, 04:05 PM

You have been on my mind as well, glad to hear from you. Hugs and blessings,
live

Josie · 03-17-2005, 01:23 AM

Me too Deedee,

Sending my love and prayers,

deedee · 03-18-2005, 08:15 PM

Thank you all for your caring and continued prayers. I am getting by, although this deep grieving is almost like being in a netherworld - not quite there. The time thing is quite strange MG. It is hard enough to believe it's been six weeks since I spoke to Jason and seven since I last saw him, let alone imagine I will never see him again or hear his voice. I'm blessed to have a large and loving family who share my grief, and my younger son has stayed close and appears to be doing okay. At first, I was terrified he'd relapse, but I'm very proud of him these days and the new-found maturity he's shown.

love and blessings to all,

deedee

Wolfstarr · 03-18-2005, 08:20 PM

(((((deedee))))))

Love to you and so glad your younger son is staying close...Prayers and peace to you, and your family.
you are in my heart,
Wolf

03-12-2005, 06:51 PM	#1 (permalink)
Wolfstarr Member Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Deeeep South Posts: 767	deedee? deedee just have been thinking of you this past week...and praying for you. Wanted you to know you and Mo are on my mind always... Hugs, Wolfstarr

03-13-2005, 02:52 PM	#3 (permalink)
deedee Member Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Faith~Hope~Love Posts: 933	Thanks for thinking of me Wolfie and MG. I remember Washbe and think of her every now and then, hoping that she and her son are okay. It's been just over a month since we lost our son, and for the most part I am functioning. I feel rather numb these days and my thoughts are still so scattered. Must make lists to accomplish the simplest things and I can lose my train of thought in a heartbeat. I think I now know how someone with ADHD feels. Mo made a comment awhile back about compartmentalizing. I didn't really understand what she meant at the time, but it's true, if I can tuck Jason and the pain that led him to this, and take it out later when I am alone, I can have a fair day and be around other people. Sometimes I let myself envision him still on this earth, sitting at his computer, at his place. This comforts me, even while I realize what I am doing. Sometimes I would like to fast forward through the grieving process, to get away from what is in my head, to feel happiness again. Other times, I wish time would stand still, to be closer to when he was still here. hugs, deedee __________________ ~ While the light lasts I shall remember and in the darkness I shall not forget ~

03-14-2005, 06:36 PM	#6 (permalink)
Ann Forum Leader Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: By The Lake Posts: 25,192	((DEEDEE)) Just sending love and hugs because you deserve lots of both. I think grief is something that we each have to do in the best way we can, and we have good days and bad days, but in the end I know we have peace. Wishing you peace, Deedee, and better days ahead. Healing is a process, it takes time and takes being gentle with ourselves. I wish I could make it heal faster, but that's the thing with healing, it happens a little at a time. Hugs and Love Amm __________________ “Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” ~Winnie the Pooh~

03-15-2005, 10:07 PM	#7 (permalink)
pedagogue Member Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Anytown, USA Posts: 1,019	Glad you stopped back in. You are still in my prayers. When grieving...I think the goal is to get up each day and have it hurts just a little bit less. Eventually the hurt dissipates and you are left with the memories. I know every handles the process differently, but I really think the compartmentalizing is a good way to go. Many of the most noticable problems (when dealing with grief) are about the unintended consequences of the process. (Inability to focus, poor sleeping patterns, increased self-doubt, etc) Stay strong, stay connected. -pedagogue __________________ "If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere." - Frank A. Clark

03-16-2005, 04:05 PM	#8 (permalink)
Live Member Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Bristol TN/VA Posts: 11,306 Blog Entries: 5	You have been on my mind as well, glad to hear from you. Hugs and blessings, live __________________ Each small candle lights a corner of the dark....Roger Waters

03-12-2005, 07:39 PM	#2 (permalink)
Morning Glory Guest Posts: n/a	Me too. I'm always thinking of you and mo. I also think of washbe a lot. Do you guys remember washbe? Love and hugs, MG

03-13-2005, 04:07 PM	#4 (permalink)
Wolfstarr Member Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Deeeep South Posts: 767	((((deedee))))) Good hearing from you. What you expressed here speaks volumes, about compartmentalizing and visualizing him at his computer...wanting to fast forward, and yet have time stand still. It tells me your processes, and how you are...and for that I am so happy you wrote to let us know. Always here for you, please know that. Daily, you are on my mind. Peace and love, Wolf

03-13-2005, 08:12 PM	#5 (permalink)
Morning Glory Guest Posts: n/a	Deedee, I'm not very good at compartmentalizing. It seems like I have one big compartment and the biggest emotion I have pushes the rest out of the way. Time is very strange to me through the grieving process. The pain seems like it was just yesterday, but missing their presence makes it seem like an eternity ago. My father died 7 years ago and I still can't grasp not seeing him again. I visualize him still being here too. There are some things that are just supposed to last forever. I get very very angry at death sometimes.

03-17-2005, 01:23 AM	#9 (permalink)
Josie Grace Under Fire Join Date: May 2002 Location: Another world Posts: 540	Me too Deedee, Sending my love and prayers, __________________ Josie

03-18-2005, 08:15 PM	#10 (permalink)
deedee Member Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Faith~Hope~Love Posts: 933	Thank you all for your caring and continued prayers. I am getting by, although this deep grieving is almost like being in a netherworld - not quite there. The time thing is quite strange MG. It is hard enough to believe it's been six weeks since I spoke to Jason and seven since I last saw him, let alone imagine I will never see him again or hear his voice. I'm blessed to have a large and loving family who share my grief, and my younger son has stayed close and appears to be doing okay. At first, I was terrified he'd relapse, but I'm very proud of him these days and the new-found maturity he's shown. love and blessings to all, deedee __________________ ~ While the light lasts I shall remember and in the darkness I shall not forget ~

03-18-2005, 08:20 PM	#11 (permalink)
Wolfstarr Member Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Deeeep South Posts: 767	(((((deedee)))))) Love to you and so glad your younger son is staying close...Prayers and peace to you, and your family. you are in my heart, Wolf

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