How to deal with - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

sark · 04-23-2012, 07:41 PM

Delayed grief. I have been sober 12 days and am wondering how others dealt with grief that they numbed by drinking or whatever else. Its been a year since my husband died but i never dealt with it. Now that i am sober emotions are in full force and i dont know how to deal with it without drinking.

Saliena · 04-24-2012, 07:12 AM

Sark -- I am in the same boat as you are. Not with my husband but with my mother who died at 49 from cancer. She died 6 years ago... and that was when my drinking when from heavy to over the top. I didn't want to deal with it because I thought her and I would always have more time together... to heal everything that had happened between us. I thought grandkids would be the thing that brought us together. She never got the chance to be a grandmother.

The only way I deal with my emotions now that I have 5 months sober is by standing right in the middle of them. Feeling them... allowing them to be there. I remember what someone said to be once in an AA meeting she said "Feelings are feelings they aren't facts...".

So while what I was feeling was TRUE... and vaild... and hard. It was a feeling and the FACT was that I didn't have to pick up a drink. I could stand there and be sad and just allow it to be.

It isn't the easy answer... but, it is the answer that keep me from picking up... and from masking what I felt.

Today I made the decision not to mask... but, to allow myself that feeling... and allow myself time to heal.

Good luck... early soberity sucks.... it is the roughest time you will have. Hang in there. it does get better. I promise.

**MsPINKAcres** · 04-24-2012, 12:59 PM

first congrats on your sobriety ~ that is wonderful news!! I pray you continue your journey on this path of recovery ~

For me ~ altho I'm not an alcoholic ~ I spent years denying my feelings and shutting them out because it was easier NOT to feel anything ~ when I got into recovery (Al-Anon) I had to thaw out & feel lots of things too ~

Thru the love, understanding and peace of the program, my sponsor, my HP and taking this ODAT & some times one minute at a time ~ I made it thru ~ I pray that you are able to do the same~

prayers of comfort and peace

PINK HUGS,
Rita

04-23-2012, 07:41 PM	#1 (permalink)
sark Member Join Date: Nov 2010 Posts: 129	How to deal with Delayed grief. I have been sober 12 days and am wondering how others dealt with grief that they numbed by drinking or whatever else. Its been a year since my husband died but i never dealt with it. Now that i am sober emotions are in full force and i dont know how to deal with it without drinking.

04-24-2012, 12:59 PM	#3 (permalink)
MsPINKAcres Living in a Pinkful Place Join Date: May 2006 Location: Louisiana Posts: 7,005	first congrats on your sobriety ~ that is wonderful news!! I pray you continue your journey on this path of recovery ~ For me ~ altho I'm not an alcoholic ~ I spent years denying my feelings and shutting them out because it was easier NOT to feel anything ~ when I got into recovery (Al-Anon) I had to thaw out & feel lots of things too ~ Thru the love, understanding and peace of the program, my sponsor, my HP and taking this ODAT & some times one minute at a time ~ I made it thru ~ I pray that you are able to do the same~ prayers of comfort and peace PINK HUGS, Rita __________________ ". . . let the understanding, love and peace of the program grow in you One Day at a Time." From the Al-Anon Suggested Closing It is very difficult to have a pity party when celebrating all the gratitude I have in my life!

04-24-2012, 07:12 AM	#2 (permalink)
Saliena Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 421	Sark -- I am in the same boat as you are. Not with my husband but with my mother who died at 49 from cancer. She died 6 years ago... and that was when my drinking when from heavy to over the top. I didn't want to deal with it because I thought her and I would always have more time together... to heal everything that had happened between us. I thought grandkids would be the thing that brought us together. She never got the chance to be a grandmother. The only way I deal with my emotions now that I have 5 months sober is by standing right in the middle of them. Feeling them... allowing them to be there. I remember what someone said to be once in an AA meeting she said "Feelings are feelings they aren't facts...". So while what I was feeling was TRUE... and vaild... and hard. It was a feeling and the FACT was that I didn't have to pick up a drink. I could stand there and be sad and just allow it to be. It isn't the easy answer... but, it is the answer that keep me from picking up... and from masking what I felt. Today I made the decision not to mask... but, to allow myself that feeling... and allow myself time to heal. Good luck... early soberity sucks.... it is the roughest time you will have. Hang in there. it does get better. I promise.

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