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|02-22-2012, 04:18 AM||#1 (permalink)|
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Tucson, AZ
inlaws make my life hell
My husband past away last November from liver & kidney failure and his best friend has been posting really nice pictures on Facebook for my daughter to see and friends and family have been commenting on them, One particular picture was really good and there were several really nice comments and in the midst of them my brother in law posted "too bad his enabler and tormenter (meaning me) didn't love him, if she did he might still be alive". Needless to say, my daughter was extremely upset. I was furious. I privately messaged him letting him know he was blocked from her account and a few other choice things. I can't believe the ignorance of people. I did everything I could humanly do to save my husband Jon. Now the feelings, crying, sleepessness, are here all over again. The backlash on Facebook is outrageous. It is anger toward his brother but it ruins the meaning of the picture and earlier posts. Why are people so awful? His family has always acted like a bunch of farm animals, but the blaming even now, when they didn't even really know what was going on is too much. Most of them didn't even come to his funeral, and not even a flower was sent. I don't know if a public "ripping", ignoring the ignorance or privately letting them know to stay away from my family is the best way to handle this. Any suggestions?
|02-22-2012, 12:24 PM||#2 (permalink)|
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Once again, please accept my heartfelt sympathy in the loss of your husband and to your daughter in the loss of her father.
I hate so much that in the pain of his own grief the brother is unable to see how he is hurting others with his thoughtless comments.
I wondered the same when I saw so many people fighting over Whitney Houston's funeral - "lower the flag ~ don't lower the flag" blah blah blah ~
In the middle of her families grief ~ they are exposed to people saying rude, hateful things about their loved one and what they should have, could have, and would have done ~
My thoughts are we should be joining together; comforting each other in our time of pain, rather than fighting and blaming over something that can't be changed.
I pray someday this brother finds peace!
Please continue to do the wonderful job you are doing taking good care of your precious daughter as she goes thru this heartbreaking time ~ My thoughts and prayers are with you as you struggle to make it thru the best you can also!!!!!
PINK HUGS for you !
". . . let the understanding, love and peace of the program grow in you One Day at a Time." From the Al-Anon Suggested Closing
It is very difficult to have a pity party when celebrating all the gratitude I have in my life!
|03-03-2012, 09:31 AM||#3 (permalink)|
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Manchester UK
I have a similar situation, it's ongoing even now 3 years after my brothers death, and it's his in laws who make all the waves, his sister in law in particular.
I've learned to treat her as I would an active addict, and I've learned all that from these fantastic forums.
She displays all the behaviours I read about here, some of them the same as my brother displayed. I don't think you need the drink to have the behaviours.
It doesn't matter to me what she thinks of me.
If it matters to my friends, well that's their problem too.
I don't have to like her.
I don't have to have contact with her. (I do to a point as my nephew visits her, but I keep our personal contact to the bare minimum and it's always on my terms, I never answer her calls, I ring her back when I'm prepared)
I don't give her free space in my head anymore.
And most of all I keep my dignity where she's concerned, she can scream shout and yell all she likes, I just walk away with my head held high knowing I'm doing the right thing and knowing what I've done in the past is right too.
Hold your head up and rise above it, but remember he probably has his own issues and demons to deal with too, they're his though, not yours.
I hope you feel some peace soon x
Walk on through the wind, Walk on through the rain
Though your dreams be tossed and blown
Walk on walk on with hope in your heart
And you'll never walk alone.
|03-07-2012, 10:55 AM||#4 (permalink)|
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Leominster, Ma
oh boy can I identify with this. his side of the famly being very nice to me and then there is the family of the kids mother (I was just step mom) and the aunt and others are venemous towards me even after all that has gone down. I really truly identify with you on this. some didn't even come to his funeral or anything, no card or anything. you are going thru enough right now, just stay off facebook, it has caused me some pain too, when I go on there now, I just talk about light hearted stuff and block out anyone that has rude things to say. God bless you, I can't say it enough, I identify with your pain and grief. stay close to those that truly love you and know what you went thru, you've been tramatized enough by those people. hugs, m
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