Tomorrow... - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

tigers13 · 08-07-2009, 05:19 PM

Tomorrow will be 5 months since I lost my husband. It's always time markers like this that really set the flashbacks to that day in motion. Finding him dead, the police lady telling me that he had died, the visitation, the funeral. I was in such shock then, I was running on automatic pilot. Now that time has passed, it's like I remember every detail. I hate it. He used to tell me how proud of me he was for all my clean time, and he just kept relapsing. I'm not going to drink...I still want to make him proud. I'm just so lonely without him.

Thanks for listening.

Wolfstarr · 08-08-2009, 06:34 AM

tigers13 I am so sorry for your loss.
We can relive these heart wrenching events like it is happening now, and the pain is just as deep as when it happened...be gentle with yourself, allow your grief as a part of who you are right now...and please know you are not alone in your grief. Many of us share this type of loss with you, and are here to help you as well as receiving help from you. Support from those of us who have gone through a life changing event is comforting and just the knowledge that others share some of the feelings as you do is also comforting.
Prayers for peace and healing to you, keep posting and talking.
He left you a wonderful gift...keep that in your heart.

tigers13 · 08-08-2009, 02:06 PM

Thank you wolf...It's so good to have people that understand and can give support at times like these. I'm so glad I found this place.

sskaye70 · 08-08-2009, 02:16 PM

I am so very sorry for your loss. Your sobriety is key to your healing. you cant heal if you are not healthy. I just lost my only brother june2 and he missed my daughters 6th birthday..damn him. I just try to remember all the good time and all of the love when they were able to be that way(sober, that is). love yourself , love your family and keep in touch!! you are in my thoughts and prayers...love yourself as you want others to love you!!! Remember...
You didnt CAUSE it
you couldnt CONTROL it
You couldnt Cure it for him!!!
I was just told this and I believe it! Sedra

tigers13 · 08-08-2009, 02:35 PM

Thank you Sedra...I'm so sorry for your loss. I am so fortunate to be one of the lucky ones that knew what I had while I had it...I hang onto that tightly. I still have people come up to me and tell me how he talked about me, loved me so much and worshipped the ground I walk on. I know it's true cuz he would tell people that stuff in front of me... and I know that is how he felt, he let me know all the time.

TakingCharge999 · 08-19-2009, 12:03 PM

tigers..
he is above taking care of you, he does not want to see you crying.. mourn all you need, its so fresh still... but know that whenever you find any joy in your day he is smiling and sending you those gifts... HUGS

tigers13 · 08-19-2009, 02:52 PM

Thanks TC. I did have a wonderful time yesterday taking my grandson out clothes shopping for school...he's almost 5. Grampa was one of his most favorite people in the world, and he was grampa's boy. I bought him some Chicago Cubs stuff which was hubby's favorite team, and my little guy loves the Cubs too (grampa made sure of that). I know my hubby was looking down on us with a big smile.

08-07-2009, 05:19 PM	#1 (permalink)
tigers13 Love my puppies Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: lala land Posts: 150	Tomorrow... Tomorrow will be 5 months since I lost my husband. It's always time markers like this that really set the flashbacks to that day in motion. Finding him dead, the police lady telling me that he had died, the visitation, the funeral. I was in such shock then, I was running on automatic pilot. Now that time has passed, it's like I remember every detail. I hate it. He used to tell me how proud of me he was for all my clean time, and he just kept relapsing. I'm not going to drink...I still want to make him proud. I'm just so lonely without him. Thanks for listening.

08-08-2009, 06:34 AM	#2 (permalink)
Wolfstarr Member Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Deeeep South Posts: 767	tigers13 I am so sorry for your loss. We can relive these heart wrenching events like it is happening now, and the pain is just as deep as when it happened...be gentle with yourself, allow your grief as a part of who you are right now...and please know you are not alone in your grief. Many of us share this type of loss with you, and are here to help you as well as receiving help from you. Support from those of us who have gone through a life changing event is comforting and just the knowledge that others share some of the feelings as you do is also comforting. Prayers for peace and healing to you, keep posting and talking. He left you a wonderful gift...keep that in your heart. __________________

08-19-2009, 12:03 PM	#6 (permalink)
TakingCharge999 A jug fills drop by drop Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 5,879	tigers.. he is above taking care of you, he does not want to see you crying.. mourn all you need, its so fresh still... but know that whenever you find any joy in your day he is smiling and sending you those gifts... HUGS __________________ Meditate. Live purely. Be quiet. Do your work with mastery. Like the moon, come out from behind the clouds. Shine. -Siddharta

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08-08-2009, 02:06 PM	#3 (permalink)
tigers13 Love my puppies Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: lala land Posts: 150	Thank you wolf...It's so good to have people that understand and can give support at times like these. I'm so glad I found this place.

08-08-2009, 02:16 PM	#4 (permalink)
sskaye70 Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: las vegas,NV Posts: 20	I am so very sorry for your loss. Your sobriety is key to your healing. you cant heal if you are not healthy. I just lost my only brother june2 and he missed my daughters 6th birthday..damn him. I just try to remember all the good time and all of the love when they were able to be that way(sober, that is). love yourself , love your family and keep in touch!! you are in my thoughts and prayers...love yourself as you want others to love you!!! Remember... You didnt CAUSE it you couldnt CONTROL it You couldnt Cure it for him!!! I was just told this and I believe it! Sedra

08-08-2009, 02:35 PM	#5 (permalink)
tigers13 Love my puppies Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: lala land Posts: 150	Thank you Sedra...I'm so sorry for your loss. I am so fortunate to be one of the lucky ones that knew what I had while I had it...I hang onto that tightly. I still have people come up to me and tell me how he talked about me, loved me so much and worshipped the ground I walk on. I know it's true cuz he would tell people that stuff in front of me... and I know that is how he felt, he let me know all the time.

08-19-2009, 02:52 PM	#7 (permalink)
tigers13 Love my puppies Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: lala land Posts: 150	Thanks TC. I did have a wonderful time yesterday taking my grandson out clothes shopping for school...he's almost 5. Grampa was one of his most favorite people in the world, and he was grampa's boy. I bought him some Chicago Cubs stuff which was hubby's favorite team, and my little guy loves the Cubs too (grampa made sure of that). I know my hubby was looking down on us with a big smile.

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