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05-05-2009, 01:32 PM
| #1 (permalink) |
| Member  Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Westland, Pennsylvania
Posts: 182
| A Mother with out a child
All I see on the TV is Mothers day this and Mothers day that. Go to the store posters all over the place about Mothers days sales. This year I will not have a Mothers day my child is dead. I look around my house seeing all the past Mothers day gifts my son gave me. A glass boat, a glass rose, a flower in a glass bottle. Not counting all the live flowers that are dead and gone. A cupid with a red rose that sits with a dead red rose I brought home from the funeral home when Jason died. I am left with a deep dark hole in my heart with so much grief I can hardly carry it any more. I ask God why my child, God why me, praying for some kind of insite to what has happened to my family what did I do wrong. Also my dear Mother died 2 years ago. She could have helped with all this she always did help when I had a problem. She is now dead too. A milliion tears have left my eyes allways praying for some kind of hope that things will get better time will tell. Maggiemac |
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05-05-2009, 01:54 PM
| #2 (permalink) |
| Humble Door Greeter  Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Scottsdale, AZ, two families in a big new home!
Posts: 9,283
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Healing thoughts and prayers going out for you Maggiemac, I'm so sorry for the losses in your life. 
__________________ "Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty, and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming---*WOW-What a ride*!" |
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05-05-2009, 02:05 PM
| #3 (permalink) |
| Social Network Moderator  Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 11,974
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I'm so sorry, Maggie. For the loss of your son Jason, and for your mother. I wish I could make the pain go away. 
__________________  |
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05-05-2009, 02:13 PM
| #4 (permalink) |
| Community Greeter  Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Atlanta
Posts: 9,464
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(((Maggie))) I remember my first few mother's days without my mom. I was pretty angry and sad. I can't even imagine having that pain, along with the loss of my own child. Sending you many many hugs and prayers, sweetie. I wish I could do more. Amy
__________________ "I'm not where I want to be, but thank God I'm not where I used to be" - Joyce Meyer |
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05-05-2009, 03:18 PM
| #7 (permalink) |
| Community Greeter  Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: FL
Posts: 11,997
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Maggiemac, I'm so sorry for your loss and the pain you are feeling about your son and missing your mom too. There are no words to describe the compassion I feel for you at this time. I'm praying for your heart to heal. {{{{ Maggiemac }}}
__________________   Gratitude is when memory is stored in the heart and not in the mind. ~ Lionel Hampton |
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05-05-2009, 04:08 PM
| #8 (permalink) |
| Administrator  |
Maggie, I went through a horrible time of grief after my husband died many years ago. It got so much worse before it started getting better. When I first lost him shock and denial gave me some protection initially. Then I would go in and out of waves of pain. Then the pain came long and hard without any breaks at all. I thought it would never get better. The process was so slow that I didn't even notice any change until one day I was able to look back and see that I felt better. From my experience you are entering into the hardest part of grief now. We all grieve in our own way and in our own time, but I think it is common that we really start missing our loved one more as months pass by without seeing them or holding them. The pain is unbearable. Getting through the minutes of each day are so hard and the days last so long before we can sleep at night to get a little break from the pain. Then we wake up in the morning and remember it all over again and go through another day. The pain of grief can be so overwhelming that we scream on the inside for help and it seems that no one can reach in and give us any comfort. Please know that the path in front of you has been well-worn by others who have gone through it before you. You are not alone. One day you will be able to love your son without such overwhelming pain. I really believe that one day you will be with him again. At that time this will seem like a split second in eternity. Lots of hugs and prayers.
__________________  Pro 11:14 Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counselors there is safety. |
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05-05-2009, 05:47 PM
| #9 (permalink) |
| Sharing Our Light  Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: By The Lake
Posts: 18,172
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Maggie, I'm sorry this is so painful for you and I know that it is something you have to walk through before you get to a better place. Just know that you are in my thoughts and prayers, today and always. Hugs 
__________________ Somewhere between the gator swamp and the Taj Mahal there is a path, it may be hidden, overgrown or may blend in with the other surroundings, but it is there, it's your path and it is calling you.~Frankly~  |
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05-05-2009, 08:24 PM
| #10 (permalink) |
| One day at a time  | Maggie, Your son is in heaven with your Mother on this Mothers day. Let that comfort you. Your mother is over joyed to be with her Grandson. I'm praying for GOD to send you a healing. My mother is dead also, and my son will not be with me this mother's day either. I have to admit it hurts me, but my pain is nothing compared to yours. I'm so sorry and sad for you Maggie. You didn't do anything wrong to deserve this pain. Losing a child is the most painful thing that could ever happen to any mother. I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. I will be thinking of you and praying for you this Mothers Day.
__________________ Love the addict  Hate the disease  |
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05-05-2009, 08:24 PM
| #11 (permalink) |
| Forum Leader  Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: City of Champions!
Posts: 1,538
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I'm sorry (((Maggie)))
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05-05-2009, 08:30 PM
| #12 (permalink) |
| Accepting Myself As Is  Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Here @ SR.
Posts: 2,340
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Maggie, I am just so so sorry for your extremely great loss. There just aren't any words in all of the English Language to express how great is your loss, or how truly sorry I am that you are going through this kind of pain. I do wish that you had your Mother still to help you through this. I wish from the bottom of my heart that you could be with a precious little boy that doesn't have a Mother at all this year and no family to love him, just as you don't have your little boy to hold this year. I can hear in your posts that you have such a wonderful heart full of love to give to someone special. And you certainly can know how someone can feel without a Mother and how someone can feel without a son. You have so much to give and there are way too many precious children out there that needs someone like you to understand what they are dealing with because you have been there too. ((((((((((((((Loving Hugs)))))))))))))))
__________________ Acceptance is key to my Serenity. Nina Kay |
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05-05-2009, 09:30 PM
| #13 (permalink) |
| One day at a time |
That is such a beautiful thought and idea Nina. WOW, some poor child with no family would just love Maggie, and Maggie needs to be busy. Not that she will ever forget Jason, cause that won't happen. But if she is busy with another child, she will be occupied for a little while, instead of continuously consumed by this grief. However, Maggie takes care of her sick husband, I don't think she would be able to care for another child. It's a beautiful thought though. Maggie, maybe the little girl who won the pageant last week could spend some time with you. That would be nice for you to see that beautiful face again.
__________________ Love the addict Hate the disease |
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05-05-2009, 09:50 PM
| #14 (permalink) |
| Attitude of Gratitude  Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Dayton, Ohio
Posts: 2,171
| This will probably be the last Mother's Day that I have my Mom here with me. I almost don't want it to come because I know, as I sit with her in the Nursing Home, I will be looking at her, knowing that this will be the last time that I can wish her a Happy Mother's Day face to face. I lost my Dad in 2006 and my only sister in 1991. But I cannot imagine if I lost my son. I know the grief you are experiencing has to be beyond overwhelming. I don't have any words of wisdom or beautiful things to say like Morning Glory did but please know that my Prayers will be with you on Sunday for memories of past Mother's Days with your Mom and Son will fill your heart. Judy
__________________  Doing a Happy Dance in Recovery! |
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05-06-2009, 08:56 AM
| #15 (permalink) |
| Forum Leader  Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Dallas, Ga. USA
Posts: 21,890
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I'm so sorry for your pain and losses Prayers of comfort ...
__________________  Each Day Sober Is A Victory!! Joy In AA Recovery! :  |
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05-06-2009, 02:39 PM
| #16 (permalink) |
| Forum Leader  Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Trudging
Posts: 2,448
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Maggie, I am so very sorry for the loss of your son. Special holidays make the pain even more acute. There really aren't words... just know that I care. Hugs Cats
__________________ "Recovery is about learning to live life on life's terms....and still being tickled pink to be alive each day." ~~ Ann |
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05-06-2009, 04:09 PM
| #17 (permalink) |
| College Student Extraordinaire  Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Kansas
Posts: 4,931
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Maggie, if I could take away the pain for you, I would. :ghug :ghug
__________________ DeVon & the Zoo Crew |
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05-06-2009, 05:51 PM
| #18 (permalink) |
| Member  Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: BC Canada
Posts: 884
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Dear Maggie, I am so sorry for what you are going through right now, missing your son and your mother. Hugs and Prayers!!!!
__________________  KEEP IT SIMPLE & BE THANKFUL
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05-06-2009, 05:56 PM
| #19 (permalink) |
| ¢σммυηιту gяєєтєя  Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Spreading my wings
Posts: 7,125
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Maggie Sorry that you are going through this-I too like MG lost my husband years ago and can say that MG hit it right. We all go through grief different. I often think of my husband today with joy and a few tears but it does get easier. I know when the holidays come it is difficult but, please know that we are here for you if you should need us
__________________  Dance as though no one is watching youLove as though you have never been hurt before Live as though heaven is on earth.  |
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05-07-2009, 07:39 PM
| #20 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Westland, Pennsylvania
Posts: 182
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I am so glad I found this site. I am trying to not be a cry baby all the time but with the help of all of you and my Lord things will get better for me. I know my son is in heaven with my Mum but I miss them so. I know he is looking down on me saying Mum stop all that now I am with gram and pap. Thank you all so much for being here for me. Your friend Maggiemac |
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05-08-2009, 11:16 PM
| #22 (permalink) |
| mergirl  |
I lost the my "almost" son 10 years ago this July. He was an abused neighbor child we took in. he died, age 20, in a construction accident. I don't remember anything from the first year except the pain, the dark pit I fell in. I am so sorry, so very sorry for your loss. Try and do something special on mother's day, something he might smile down watching you do. Take care of yourself, you will be in my thoughts.
__________________    *~Lisa~* ban the deed, not the breed~ last drink 12/27/08 <3 (its a sideways heart!) |
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05-09-2009, 12:12 AM
| #23 (permalink) |
| Member  |
I, too, lost my son...it has been 10 years now and that seems unbelievable! I had to do what was best for me, what I could handle for anniversaries and holidays. I think that I listened to his favorite music album that first year. It was one we both loved and it helped me feel our connection. Please accept my sympathies. Tena
__________________ Each small candle lights a corner of the dark....Roger Waters  |
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05-10-2009, 01:34 PM
| #25 (permalink) |
| Member  Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Faith~Hope~Love
Posts: 927
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Thinking of you today (((Maggie))) and hoping the memories of your son warm your heart. I know it's a hard day, especially the first one. Mom to mom hugs
__________________  ~ While the light lasts I shall remember and in the darkness I shall not forget ~ |
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Midi Golf Champion!
for you......I am so sorry for your losses.
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