confused

[mike13]

about 3 years ago i met this beautiful, wonderful, brilliant girl named Angela. she seemed perfect to me. we shared everything with each other, including drugs. in april 06, angela died of overdose. i miss her everyday. but i'm not sure if i should. i have admitted to myself the our relationship was far from healthy. i was 15 when i met her, and she was 19. we also fed off each other (both positively and negatively). she was my drug-buddy and my lover. she shared more with me than most people ever have and i opened up more to her than i ever have to anyone. when i heard the news that she had passed, all i wanted to do was shoot so much dope that i'd die as well. i no longer have these feelings when i think about her, but i still miss her so much to the point where i become very depressed. i feel like i shouldn't tho. what i mean to say is that when i miss her and think about her i feel guilty, like i'm holding on to big piece of my old life. but its comforting just to let my mind wander sometimes and think about her. i dont even know if im making any sense right now. i just needed to get this off my chest.

[Tryin2Recover]

Sorry to hear about your loss, mike. While I dont have much experience with things like this, I am pretty sure if you keep doing the next right thing, this too will get better. Good luck bud.

[indigo]

I think maybe you ought to forgive yourself 19 isn't very old either and maybe it's time to continue forward in a new life in honour of her. jmo