Grief over a pet....

[RayRayRay]

My 21 year old cat has been failing in many ways lately. I continue to believe she will get better....She will not. She is on a slew of medications to keep her heart beating steadily, to keep the fluid off her chest, to keep down the infections in her old body, to keep her ever-worsening arthritis from taking over.
This morning I let myself become aware of the amount of pain she is in and have set a time tomorrow to euthanize her. It tears me apart to make this decision. She has been with me since I was a child. She was always my best friend. And now, I feel like I've failed her.
I just wanted her to die on her own, peacefully in her sleep.
I don't want to think about life in my house without her. She's been beside me as long as I can remember. She even travelled with me in my early twenties when I went to explore the world.
Tomorrow will be a really difficult day. Which is hard to imagine because today hurts like hell....

[RobbyRobot]

Sorry for your loss. Pet's who are loved such as yours are difficult to let go. Not a small thing. We had a 16 year cat have a stroke a few years ago. The vet took him the next day and he passed on. It was such a day. We miss Sylvester still. And a few years before that Cinder passed on. They had been kittens together. They were so loved.

Loving a pet is so rewarding. Nothing compares.

God Bless You.

Thinking of You.

[51anna]

Hi Ray,

It is so sad to lose our beloved pets.

You are doing the right thing for your sweet cat. Prayers for you both.

[arieswoman]

Hi Ray,

My heart goes out to you. Last month my best friend and support system and significant other all rolled into one furry creature named KittyBoy was hit by a car and died. My heart ached with such intense grief for the first few weeks. I just let myself cry and grieve over him. I made him a little memorial by posting photos of him and a letter to him on my wall, thanking him for being there for me. I know the pain you must be in. You are making a very compassionate choice.

With empathy and understanding,

Laurie

[tanyapmc]

Hi Ray,

My heart goes out to you too. I'm sorry that your going through this. It is so very difficult to have to put a pet down. I just wanted you to know that I am thinking about you!

[serenityqueen]

I'm so sorry to hear about your kitty. I've had to let go of a beloved dog and cat and I know how hard it is.

It's hard to say goodbye to someone we shared so much love and so many years with . . . but you know in your heart it's for the best. We don't want them to suffer any more pain than they already have. They have shown us unconditional love . .and now, we can show them the same.

I'll be thinking of you tomorrow and in the days to come. Let yourself grieve the loss, don't try to stuff the feelings inside like we have stuffed so many painful things in the past as a result of our addiction.

God Bless,
Judy

[carolm]

Hi RayRay,
I have lost 3 cats over the last five years. I now have only my Petie. As hard as it is to lose a pet, I think it is far more humane than the way people are treated. At least, you can know that you decided to put him out of his pain.
My prayers are with you.
Carol

[mattcake79]

Dear Rae,

You have loved and painstakingly taken care of your cat; I hardly think that you have failed her. However, grief is a gradual process, so allow yourself to feel whatever comes your way. It takes great courage to make such a hard decision, and it's always difficult to say goodbye. Hopefully one day you'll also feel blessed for having shared so many years with your friend. I'll be thinking of you, be brave

[Impurrfect]

awwww, sweetie, you haven't failed her. You are doing the most loving thing you can...ending her suffering in a humane way, even though it hurts so much.

Only another animal lover can totally understand how much we grieve our furbabies when they are gone. They are more than pets, and will always hold a place in our heart.

Several people, here, have posted about "Rainbow Bridge" and every time someone loses another pet, I have to read it, because I grieve right along with them.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

[RayRayRay]

That's it....It's done....
She's gone....
Things won't be the same around here...
I won't be the same....


The moments that define us are not planned.

[51anna]

Rainbow Bridge

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Author unknown...

[Impurrfect]

I'm sorry.

Thanks, Anna, for posting the Rainbow Bridge.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

[deedee]

(((rayray)))

I'm so sorry ... the hardest thing about loving a pet is knowing they can't be with us forever. I hope you find comfort in knowing you gave her a wonderful life.

hugs and prayers ~

deedee

[freya]

So sorry for the loss of your kitty.....losing a long-time friend and companion is soooooo hard......21 years, though..What a blessing!!!!!...for both you and her!

[RayRayRay]

That was one experience I never want to live through again...But I will...Again and again and again....
That's what happens when you fill your home with friends that have such short lifespans.....
And as for my addictions.....Each day the cravings get a little bit louder and my willpower seems a little bit weaker....Today was tougher than yesterday....
I will live in the moment and I will stop thinking about how many times my heart will break....I need to be here with the ones I love and not out in lalaland stoned and drunk....
Seems so simple....Feels so impossible....

[butterfly19]

Rae,

You are an amazing, incredible woman for taking care of an ill pet. Like my mom always says when someone does such good deeds:

"You'll get a star in your crown for doing that."

I am an animal lover, there's never a stray that I can say "No" too. But your story reminded me of my own sweet kitty who's name was Precious. She became ill around Christmas of 2006 and started having seizures. When the vet did her blood work, everything was so abnormal that he said she must have something much more serious going on than a seizure disorder. Besides that she was going on 18 years old at the time. I grew up with her, and she was the smartest most intuitive cat I've yet to encounter. She was a siamese and was blessed with that beautiful voice that she used soooo often!

We gave her meds, tried to keep her hydrated so that her kidneys wouldn't completely fail--at one point I was even giving her subcutaneous (just beneath the skin) injections of saline to keep her from dehydrating. It broke my heart everytime I had to inject her b/c she would cry out in pain. I could no longer do it and decided that she didn't want to live that way either. So my mom and I took care of her best we could. When she took her medicine, that was good, but if we couldn't get her to take it that was okay too. We knew what the end result would be anyway.

So, the day came in February 2007 when she lost her ability to walk and she had that look in her eyes that said, "It's okay, I'm ready." At the vet's office I admantly told them I was staying with her while they euthanized her. I placed my forehead on her own, and the vet injected her. Slowly, I felt her face slip down my own and I knew she was gone. I can't help but cry now while I write this, and I hope I didn't upset you further Rae. I just needed to share my own experience so that you would know you are not alone. That day I lost my best friend. I have other pets, but none can compare to her.

I was high on opiates that day, when she died, and honestly don't think I could have done it if I wasn't! So, Rae, I commend you for not using during this difficult time. I know just how hard that it is to turn away from it in times of grief or crisis. Just keep staying strong, your beloved friend would want you to!

The "Rainbow Brige" was beautiful, btw, I'm glad it was posted! Keep staying strong sweetie! Know that your life was sweeter because of a cat who gave you friendship and strength!

Love,

butterfly19 (SP)

p.s.:

I'm lighting this candle for Rae's kitty, my sweet Precious, and all the other beautiful animals who make a statement in our lives that is worth listening to and one we should never forget!

[Rella927]

Rae I just saw this today-Big a lot of great things posted above-

My heart goes out to you-when our furry kids leave us it is not easy-
The Rainbow Bridge helped me a lot with the loss of my little one.

Sending you many comforting prayers and thoughts

[ksos]

I just saw this thread and I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I do not know of anything more heartbreaking than losing a pet. But if it is any solace and it may not be, all of our furry four-legged children teach us a lesson that life is fleeting and we need to embrace each and every moment that we can. I will never forget my dogs or my cat or any of my "kids". They taught me that it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. Even if hurts so bad now.

The Rainbow Bridge was my HP during my grieving period. Allow it to be yours, if you can. Your pain will eventually lesson and be replaced with fond memories which will make you laugh. This I can promise you! I now am able to recall the funniest things that my Dottydog and my fat Little Freckles did together, and they had a life with a family that loved them...

I am sure that your beloved kitty had the same. Remember that we often keep our friends too long but they never will complain about anything. We have to make that decision and you made it out of love...

K-

[kidsandmemake3]

Ray I am sooooo sorry for your loss. My best friend ever was Kitty and I had her until I was 19. She was what I lived for and I think of her every day even though I am now double the age I was when she passed. Your sweet kitty will always be with you close in your heart... they leave their pawprints there, don't they? (((much sympathy)))