My Dad

[Emimily]

it's been 6 and a half months since my dad died. i want to share about him.

my dad was larger than life. he rocked this big 80s glasses and a moustache the whole 23 years i knew him. he loved to cut the grass in the summer, regardless of the heat. he talked to every person he saw - waitresses, bank tellers, grocery store clerks, you name it. i got that from him.

he always wore a feather on a chain around his neck and a silver i.d. bracelet. he had dentures. he had dark brown hair, when he had hair, and brown eyes. he was 5'10". he had a big belly, depsite the fact that he quit drinking decades ago. he wore ridiculous red shorts in the summertime. he always dressed for work - always. he loved ballcaps.

he was a devils fan, a giants fan, and a yankees fan. he loved college football. his favorite was tiki barber (my brother went to UVA). he liked college basketball. he taught me how to play tennis and he taught me how to catch and he taught me how to ice skate. he would get all the other little kids around us involved in whatever game we were playing at the pool. he loved the beach.

he called me "bum", but he did it endearingly. every time i saw him, he'd say "hiya bum!" he told all of us he loved us, yes yes yes. it didn't matter what he was doing, he'd put it down. he loved pizza. he made the best spaghetti sauce in the world. he loved pineapple yogurt, but since my oldest niece did too, he'd let her have first dibs. he hugged you with his whole heart, not just his arms.

he loved neckties and suspenders. he wore slippers. i used to rub his feet when his neuropathy made them numb. he showed me how to do crosswords and he let me help him with his. he loved old movies, especially james dean. his favorite was east of eden, which we watched together.

he loved recovery. he loved recovering alcoholics and addicts. he lived and breathed the treatment center he was the director of - he made that place a success. he was the first person i'd go to with AA questions. he gave me my 90 day chip.

he loved his kids and his grandkids with every fiber of his being. he loved everyone, just about. he loved dogs, he LOVED dogs. he paid for my dog's spay when i couldn't afford it.

he was super left wing. he fought for the little guy. he believed in god. he never ever lost the faith that god's in charge, and that god is good, all the time.

i miss him. but i feel a little better now. i love you, daddy, yes yes yes.

[Wolfstarr]

(((Emimily))))

Your beautiful, loving, very descriptive (I feel like I know him!) and well written tribute to your dad grabbed my heart. It makes me wish that I could have met him.

Bless you dear heart. Your Dad is with you always...

thank you for sharing him with us...

Blessings....

[Fulldresser4]

Thanks...I really miss my Dad too..

[deedee]

(((emimily)))

What a touching tribute to your dad and I can hear what a great giving man he was. My dad's been gone a year and a half and even though we didn't always see eye to eye (he could be cantankerous ... smile), I miss him and the days gone by. You will always carry a big piece of your dad in your heart, wherever you go and whatever you do.

Thanks so much for sharing him with us

[indigo]

That was a beautiful eulogy for your beloved father, I feel too that I know him. He must be watching over you with such love and pride.
hugs indie

[ananda]

thank you. my father died about 2 years ago and i was feeling his abscense today. You helped me.

[Rowan]

Your share inspires me to get to know my own father better while he's still with me.
Thank you, Em.

[gravity]

Emimily,

Thank you for your words. You brought back so many fine memories of my own dad.

My father passed away 15 months ago. He was a simple, quiet man. He had such a hard life but he accepted it. His love for his children, his honesty, his courage, his strength, his integrity - this is how I remember him. My dad is still with me - in my heart. When I face my toughest challenges, I feel his courage, his strength. When I am with my own children, I feel his love.

Your dad was a beautiful person. He must be so proud of his girl.

[suki44883]

Thank you, Emimily. That was beautiful. My father died over 20 years ago, but your tribute to you father made me miss mine all over again.

[Emimily]

One calendar year ago, my father died. It was Oct. 7th of 2007 at 3:10 p.m. How do I make it through today?

[NOMOMERLOTMAMMA]

Grab your family and spend time with them...grab that wonderful group of recovery kids that you hang out with and let them love you...

Pray.

I'll be thinking of you today Em.

[NOMOMERLOTMAMMA]

To take for permanent
That which is only transitory
Is like the delusion of a madman."

I do believe that is your signature line...read it!

[NOMOMERLOTMAMMA]

Said with love Em...you'll get through today.

(((Em))))

[Rowan]

Thinking of you, Em. Let yourself grieve - just hang in there.

[TTOSBT]

Emimily,
I am so sorry that you are hurting.
I know, I really do.
I lost my Dad on March 19th this year, completely unexpectedly and not a day goes by that I do not cry and hurt.

[Impurrfect]

((((Emimily)))

I know the pain, too. When my mom died, she was my best friend. I told everyone to just bury me next to her because I would not survive without her.

I did, and you will, too. Grief takes time, and, for me, the first year was the hardest because you're going through every holiday, special day for the first time without them.

My mom has now been gone 17 years, and there are times I still cry, and I always, always miss her. But now, I can also remember the good times and special memories.

Don't let anyone tell you it's been enough time and "get over it" because we never "get over it", and we deal with grief in our own time.

Maybe you could check out seeing a grief counselor?

Hang in there, sweetie.

BIG hugs and prayers coming your way!

Amy

[cmc]

What you wrote is a very touching tribute to your father...and to many other fathers as well. I hope you will find some comfort in the many fine memories you shared with him.

Harming yourself is not a solution. If you are still feeling this way, please seek some help for yourself.

[historyteach]

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-suicidal.html (If You Are Feeling Suicidal)
Please use this information if you are feeling poorly.
And call emergency if you need.

NO ONE NEEDS TO SUFFER ALONE.
There IS help.

Shalom!

[Done_With_It]

Thinking of you... {{{....}}}

[Rella927]

Emim My heart goes out to you-Please share with your friends and family how you are feeling and look to them for comfort....When my father died and my husband I thought it was the end of my world but it was not-because they did not want that for me- I'am sure your father wants you to go on and never forget him in your heart-cherish the memories....allow yourself to grieve but please hold family and friends close to you now- you are in my prayers

[kidsandmemake3]

Em, (((hug for you))). I love what you wrote about your dad and I am so very sorry for your loss. I love that you wrote that he hugged you with his whole heart... bet you can still feel those whenever you need them...

[Impurrfect]

((((Em))))

How are you doing today?

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

[IO Storm]

Em...

Beautiful post honoring and remembering your daddy. So sorry for your

recent loss. I called mine "daddy", too..and always will.

The story you shared about him was very moving.

Hugs

[Emimily]

sorry to be a scare - been a bit of a flight risk/safety risk lately, but i'm okay. i have a cold, which is wretched, but it's okay. been to a meeting every day this week, so that's good. also, i've actually been utitilizing my sponsor... imagine that!

it was very selfish for me to speak so brashly. i don't plan on doing that again. thank y'all for letting me be so sad and stuck and loving me anyway. i love you all and appreciate you fully.

xoxo

[Impurrfect]

((Em))

Glad you're back and way to go on utilizing your sponsor I've had a bad cold, too, and it just seems to make everything worse.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy