Can this happen? - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

1963comet · 11-25-2007, 10:46 AM

My husband died of cancer in 1990, he was only 26.

Is it possible to not deal with a death for years? At the time I thought I handled it the right way. I was told I should seek couseling but I never did.

On Nov 28, 2000 I thought I lost my mind. It was the same day he died 10 years later. I quit drinking because I thought that was the reason I was feeling that way.

I look back now and think maybe I was feeling the loss 10 years later. Can this happen???

***Morning Glory*** · 11-25-2007, 12:56 PM

Yes it can happen.

I exploded 6 years after my husband died. My son's cat got killed by a car and I had to go pick it up and bury it at midnight. I was out there digging a hole in the dark and screaming and crying. It felt like I exploded with emotion.

I think we face things when we are emotionally able to deal with it. There is no time limit on grief. I'm very sorry for your loss.

Many hugs,
MG

deedee · 11-25-2007, 04:39 PM

I agree with MG.

Although I've been dealing with my grief since losing my son, it seems I'm not done yet. I've had plateaus (I guess you would call them), when it seems I am coping pretty well. However, since going off the anti-d's a few months ago, I seem to be stuck in the anger/sadness phase. Not a good place to be, so I've been keeping a low profile at work and at home, and hoping I can work my way thru it.

I'm so sorry you lost your husband at such a young age.

hugs ~

deedee

1963comet · 11-25-2007, 07:08 PM

Thank you so much for responding. I'm sorry for your losses as well and i'm not the only one this has happened to.

debmar · 12-05-2007, 05:32 AM

Teresa, so sorry for your loss, and you know it's only been two yrs for my husband's loss, and in the front of my mind, always seems to be a question will I flip one day and loose it and end up in a psychward, because the life we had together for so long, even though I grieve and work through it and stay strong, I wonder if that will last for me. I was getting crazy tonight already with emotions of shock that still hit me. And the pain and realization comes on long after the death and process you go through, so I've always thought that thought ever since about the first year, really scares me honestly

11-25-2007, 10:46 AM	#1 (permalink)
1963comet Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Michigan Posts: 1,384	Can this happen? My husband died of cancer in 1990, he was only 26. Is it possible to not deal with a death for years? At the time I thought I handled it the right way. I was told I should seek couseling but I never did. On Nov 28, 2000 I thought I lost my mind. It was the same day he died 10 years later. I quit drinking because I thought that was the reason I was feeling that way. I look back now and think maybe I was feeling the loss 10 years later. Can this happen??? __________________ Just Maybe... It is true that we do not know what we have until we lose it, But it is also true we do not know what we have been missing until it Arrives.

11-25-2007, 12:56 PM	#2 (permalink)
*Morning Glory* Administrator Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: CA Posts: 9,969 Blog Entries: 2	Yes it can happen. I exploded 6 years after my husband died. My son's cat got killed by a car and I had to go pick it up and bury it at midnight. I was out there digging a hole in the dark and screaming and crying. It felt like I exploded with emotion. I think we face things when we are emotionally able to deal with it. There is no time limit on grief. I'm very sorry for your loss. Many hugs, MG __________________ “Come to the edge.” “We can't. We're afraid.” “Come to the edge.” “We can't. We will fall!” “Come to the edge.” And they came. And he pushed them. And they flew. Guillaume Apollinaire, 1880-1918

11-25-2007, 04:39 PM	#3 (permalink)
deedee Member Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Faith~Hope~Love Posts: 933	I agree with MG. Although I've been dealing with my grief since losing my son, it seems I'm not done yet. I've had plateaus (I guess you would call them), when it seems I am coping pretty well. However, since going off the anti-d's a few months ago, I seem to be stuck in the anger/sadness phase. Not a good place to be, so I've been keeping a low profile at work and at home, and hoping I can work my way thru it. I'm so sorry you lost your husband at such a young age. hugs ~ deedee __________________ ~ While the light lasts I shall remember and in the darkness I shall not forget ~

11-25-2007, 07:08 PM	#4 (permalink)
1963comet Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Michigan Posts: 1,384	Thank you so much for responding. I'm sorry for your losses as well and i'm not the only one this has happened to. __________________ Just Maybe... It is true that we do not know what we have until we lose it, But it is also true we do not know what we have been missing until it Arrives.

12-05-2007, 05:32 AM	#5 (permalink)
debmar debbleslosthermarbles Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: ChicagoBurbs Posts: 75	Teresa, so sorry for your loss, and you know it's only been two yrs for my husband's loss, and in the front of my mind, always seems to be a question will I flip one day and loose it and end up in a psychward, because the life we had together for so long, even though I grieve and work through it and stay strong, I wonder if that will last for me. I was getting crazy tonight already with emotions of shock that still hit me. And the pain and realization comes on long after the death and process you go through, so I've always thought that thought ever since about the first year, really scares me honestly __________________ DO WHAT YOU CAN AND THEN PRAY THAT GOD WILL GIVE YOU THE POWER TO DO WHAT YOU CANNOT *St. Augustine* SOY, PALOMA BLANCA DEBBBIE

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