delayed grieving

[hopeOct31]

Hi all...I am hoping some of you can offer your thoughts.

My sponsor wants me to go to a support group for parents who have lost a child. Now that I am sober I have been having a very difficult time dealing with the grief I feel from losing a baby during the 7th month of preg. 10 yrs ago.

I really do not want to go b/c I don't think people will understand why I am going to a support group 10 yrs later. And I don't want to have to tell them I am an alcholic and have been drunk for 10 yrs. Is there anyway around this?

Thanks, HopeOct31

[best]

So sorry to read of your loss.

When (if) they ask...Why are you here?

I am here for support.
I lost a child ten years ago and am just now starting to deal with it.

You may find that your not the only one showing up with your story of life.
You just may find that the odd person (different) of the group could be someone who didn't drink and is just there for the wonderful support that can be found.

[Wolfstarr]

Hope, I, too am so sorry for your loss...

10 yrs can be like 10 days or 10 minutes. It's relative. There is no set time for grieving and we do it when we are ready...

My daughter lost a baby when she was 7 mos pregnant, too. She has not dealt with it yet. She still numbs herself with narcotics. This happened 4 and a half years ago.

Best is right when he says that you may find that there are those still grieving over losing their child many many years later. It's the support we seek, and understanding of those who know our feelings of great loss.

I offer prayers and thoughts to you, hope.

[angelwjs]

Your not alone, I'm sure there are alot of us how tried to kill our pain with whatever we knew how too! Twelve years ago, we lost our little angel Wesley. We knew nothing that would kill the pain except drugs. We had a ten year addiction. When we finally had to deal with life on lifes terms, we as well had to deal with the grieving of our son which we had put off for ten years. I even went to aI grief group thru my church, I shared it all, my addiction as well. I was treated with more support just by sharing that, than if I had just lost my child. Just remember we are not the first at anything we do, say, feel, experience, it's all been there done that before. Love to share.

[indigo]

I am so sorry, I lost 2 babies the same way, they would have been adults now and I often think of who they would have become. Allow yourself to heal, no matter how long it takes, you need to.
Keeping you in my thoughts.

[deedee]

(((hope)))

I'm sorry for your pain. I lost my son over 2 years ago and I know I will miss him the rest of my life. It's not something we ever "get over", but we can move towards acceptance and peace. There are many online support sites for grief and loss. Compassionate Friends www.compassionatefriends.com is for parents who have lost children and offers online support, as well as ftf.

take good care ~

deedee

[hopeOct31]

Thank you everyone for your kind words. I know this will always be a part of my life, but I have to get to a place of acceptance. Unfortunately I have still been looking for a way to avoid trudging through the pain, but I understand that there is no way around it.
I will check out compansionate friends, Thanks
HopeOct31

[1963comet]

I lost my husband to cancer and I broke down ten years later. I did not feel the grief when he died because I was to messed up. So. I know how you feel. There is not time limit on grief.