Feeling really sad today - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

margo · 10-06-2006, 10:36 PM

My dad committed suicide in June of this year and I've been going through the process of grieving - not everyday is as painful as others and I feel like I've been dealing with it pretty well overall. But today has been a really hard day. My dad left me a bequest in his will and it arrived from the lawyer's office today. It comes at a time when it is sorely needed (thank you daddy!). I don't know if this will make sense to anyone, but I was suddenly hit by the knowledge that this is the last gift from my dad in a lifetime of giving and kindnesses. I don't mean I'm sad because I will miss receiving gifts. I feel sad because this is the last thing my dad has done for me in this world and it just feels like something came to an end today.

Phinneas · 10-07-2006, 12:02 AM

Oh margo, yes, I do know what you mean. Please let yourself grieve in your own time, at your own pace. We all get though grief in different ways. I hope you are being gentle with yourself.

May you and your family find some comfort and peace.

historyteach · 10-07-2006, 05:25 AM

((((Margo)))))
I hear you, and understand. This is another end today. Throughout the first year, there will be new "ends."
Know that we are here for you. Feel free to come and tell us how you're doing. We love you and we care....

I'm sorry for your loss...

Shalom!

**Ann** · 10-07-2006, 05:51 AM

I understand too, Margo, I had feelings like that when my mother died.

What I found was that she left me gifts of love, learning and wonderful memories, and her spirit is still with me today. I couldn't see those gifts until the pain of her dying had passed.

Sending hugs and lots of love

Ten Chips Down · 10-07-2006, 03:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by margo

My dad committed suicide in June of this year and I've been going through the process of grieving - not everyday is as painful as others and I feel like I've been dealing with it pretty well overall. But today has been a really hard day. My dad left me a bequest in his will and it arrived from the lawyer's office today. It comes at a time when it is sorely needed (thank you daddy!). I don't know if this will make sense to anyone, but I was suddenly hit by the knowledge that this is the last gift from my dad in a lifetime of giving and kindnesses. I don't mean I'm sad because I will miss receiving gifts. I feel sad because this is the last thing my dad has done for me in this world and it just feels like something came to an end today.

Oh margo. (((margo))) I know, I know. My father passed away when I was 30 under some of the most wrenching circumstances as well. Some of the hardest things to do were to methodically go through he belongings, old papers, little notes. An informal handwritten note on which he'd scribbled the following words from a decade before:

EVERYTHING I OWN, ALL I OWN, I WANT IT ALL TO GO JOHN (xxxxx).

And he wrote below it:

JOHNBOY, WHERE EVER I GO, WHEN I GO, BE A GOOD MAN.

Even today it probably doesn't seem to follow logically, that line, does it?

Oh but see, I know what the old fella was saying. Know exactly: "Son my life hasn't been blemish free, but the legacy I want to leave and the life I want for you is just to live a good life and be a good man".

Margo. I love you as a fellow human today, and we grieve together.

deedee · 10-08-2006, 08:06 PM

(((Margo)))

I'm sorry for your sadness, and I understand too

much love ~

deedee

cwohio · 10-08-2006, 08:34 PM

((margo)) the sadness stinks sometimes - feeling that way myself tonight - my thoughts are with you!

indigo · 10-09-2006, 02:33 AM

(((( Margo))))

I understand.....just keep on letting yourself feel, happy or sad it does help us to heal.

much love annie

10-06-2006, 10:36 PM	#1 (permalink)
margo Member Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: North Vancouver, British Columbia Posts: 1,727	Feeling really sad today My dad committed suicide in June of this year and I've been going through the process of grieving - not everyday is as painful as others and I feel like I've been dealing with it pretty well overall. But today has been a really hard day. My dad left me a bequest in his will and it arrived from the lawyer's office today. It comes at a time when it is sorely needed (thank you daddy!). I don't know if this will make sense to anyone, but I was suddenly hit by the knowledge that this is the last gift from my dad in a lifetime of giving and kindnesses. I don't mean I'm sad because I will miss receiving gifts. I feel sad because this is the last thing my dad has done for me in this world and it just feels like something came to an end today. __________________ Sometimes I go about in pity for myself, and all the while a great wind is bearing me across the sky. ~Ojibwe saying~

10-07-2006, 12:02 AM	#2 (permalink)
Phinneas Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: fumbling towards ecstasy Posts: 2,614	Oh margo, yes, I do know what you mean. Please let yourself grieve in your own time, at your own pace. We all get though grief in different ways. I hope you are being gentle with yourself. May you and your family find some comfort and peace. __________________ If ten people tell you that you have a tail... you might want to turn around and look.

10-07-2006, 05:25 AM	#3 (permalink)
historyteach To Life! Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Rhode Island Posts: 9,303	((((Margo))))) I hear you, and understand. This is another end today. Throughout the first year, there will be new "ends." Know that we are here for you. Feel free to come and tell us how you're doing. We love you and we care.... I'm sorry for your loss... Shalom! __________________ IMAGINE

10-07-2006, 05:51 AM	#4 (permalink)
Ann Forum Leader Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: By The Lake Posts: 25,227	I understand too, Margo, I had feelings like that when my mother died. What I found was that she left me gifts of love, learning and wonderful memories, and her spirit is still with me today. I couldn't see those gifts until the pain of her dying had passed. Sending hugs and lots of love __________________ “Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” ~Winnie the Pooh~

10-08-2006, 08:06 PM	#6 (permalink)
deedee Member Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Faith~Hope~Love Posts: 933	(((Margo))) I'm sorry for your sadness, and I understand too much love ~ deedee __________________ ~ While the light lasts I shall remember and in the darkness I shall not forget ~

10-08-2006, 08:34 PM	#7 (permalink)
cwohio Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Litterbox City Posts: 6,142	((margo)) the sadness stinks sometimes - feeling that way myself tonight - my thoughts are with you! __________________ *Learn to write your hurts in sand. Learn to carve your blessings in stone! - Unknown*

10-09-2006, 02:33 AM	#8 (permalink)
indigo Community Greeter Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Mid-Life Express Posts: 9,928	(((( Margo)))) I understand.....just keep on letting yourself feel, happy or sad it does help us to heal. much love annie __________________ When you judge others, you do not define them, you define yourself." Namasté

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