I am grateful to be alive. - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

~Dragonlily~ · 12-31-2004, 01:37 PM

Since this is my first post allow me to give some background information...

I was introduced to pot and alcohol at age 5, my mother thought it to be amusing to see an intoxicated child, her being an addict herself she had created a drug buddy. I continued to use a variety of substances through out my life in a vain attempt to self medicate the painful images of my disturbing childhood.

After another failed attempt to end my life I ended up "in patient" 12/07/2004. This time is different. I realized that my suicide attempts were just another thing for me to fail at so I took a closer look at my life, therapy, and future. I had an epiphany in that my life and future are non existent unless I come to terms with my addiction. This is a terribly painful process.

Someone had said to me, "If I put one hand in AA and one hand in God, I would not have a hand to pick up a drink." I have been slowly recovering from a lifetime of destruction.

For me, maybe just for today or for this moment, I am grateful to be alive.

Thank you for giving me this opportunity because I am grateful for that too.

Jillc · 12-31-2004, 01:43 PM

Heres to a new year for Dragonlilly!!

together4ever · 12-31-2004, 06:10 PM

God bless you Dragonlilly! Hang in there, I like the simile about keeping both hands busy...That's an obvious keeper!

12-31-2004, 01:37 PM	#1 (permalink)
~Dragonlily~ Alcoholic,Addict, Mental Mess! Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: A Crowded Bathroom Called New Jersey Posts: 3	I am grateful to be alive. Since this is my first post allow me to give some background information... I was introduced to pot and alcohol at age 5, my mother thought it to be amusing to see an intoxicated child, her being an addict herself she had created a drug buddy. I continued to use a variety of substances through out my life in a vain attempt to self medicate the painful images of my disturbing childhood. After another failed attempt to end my life I ended up "in patient" 12/07/2004. This time is different. I realized that my suicide attempts were just another thing for me to fail at so I took a closer look at my life, therapy, and future. I had an epiphany in that my life and future are non existent unless I come to terms with my addiction. This is a terribly painful process. Someone had said to me, "If I put one hand in AA and one hand in God, I would not have a hand to pick up a drink." I have been slowly recovering from a lifetime of destruction. For me, maybe just for today or for this moment, I am grateful to be alive. Thank you for giving me this opportunity because I am grateful for that too. __________________ Hear my wordâ€™s, O Lord; listen to my sighing. Hear my cry for help, my King, my God! To you I pray, O Lord; at dawn you will hear my cry; at dawn I will plead before you and wait Psalm 5:2-4

12-31-2004, 01:43 PM	#2 (permalink)
Jillc Newbie Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Rochester, New York Posts: 24	Heres to a new year for Dragonlilly!! __________________

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12-31-2004, 06:10 PM	#3 (permalink)
together4ever Member Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Rancho Cuc, CA Posts: 5	God bless you Dragonlilly! Hang in there, I like the simile about keeping both hands busy...That's an obvious keeper!

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