| Gratitude, pills and a few 24s
Gratitude at 22 yrs sober. I broke my leg, ankle and foot on my boat called Aquaholic! A gift of Soberity over the years, and a true testement on how sneaky this disease can be (with gifts it will give). 22 yrs earlier sitting in jail, with nothing... My greatest asset was my support group which, thank God, has always been tight and together over the years. Though many have died, relapsed and disappeared, most close ties are still there. So, the doctors gave me alot of pain meds. And they were much needed. Though never into pills much, I knew from past qualifications its another back door...and a hard one from the stories I have heard. Pain is interesting, all kinds...My life at the time when hurt was going very well. A result to ALOT of meetings even at 22 yrs. Medication when in pain effects you differntely when real pain is present. And I was...4 screws in leg, a cast for 5 months, PT, no work, and unable to walk....INSERTING GROSS PART HERE -dont read if it will upset you...................
This was as bad break...
My foot was totally backwards, compound fracture all over. and I was stuck in a cabin of a boat. Thank God for a cell phone and paramedics -and my father and friends.
I first was administered morphine and pressed the button like a true addict. My sponser, over 35 years Sober told me, enjoy it while it lasts! Again, pain meds effect you different when in true pain -it isolates it. Its the point when the pain wears off, and the physical dependence on the drugs are the issues. And they had me on a few things, even methodone for a bit... I had RSD as well (and a cholstraphobic issue that still hasnt gone away) while healing and that is the choice of treatment. Every doctorr knew I was an addict, though never took those kinds of drugs...(just a differnt coat if ya ask me)...but my main concern, was a strong support group, even if meetings were brought to MY house, and they were. Getting off some of the pills were interesting. at times WE would cut them down to little pieces each day, since I felt the withdrawel symptoms. Another pill would take them away, but I knew (well my support group knew) the disease was popping its head out at me. Over a few weeks, I was off them and it was hard, not as hard when I first got sober, but hard. I still hear many stories related to getting hurt then relapsing, always heading towards the drug/drink of choice. Many are aware of the blame game, but its important to really focus in on relapsers and ther stories, as well as new comers...and graditute. A power greater them your self takes many forms, but one has to search and hold on to it everyday. I'am im very grateful...even a few years later. Now to search for a bigger Boat!
"When brimming with gratitude, one's heartbeat must surely result in outgoing love, the finest emotion that we can ever know." Bill Wilson
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07-30-2008, 08:51 AM
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