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Old 02-02-2014, 05:15 PM   #1 (permalink)
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needing a sponsor who understands me

I have almost 100 days sober and haven't starting working steps or anything because i haven't found a sponsor. I feel like i need one who will understand me being a lesbian and things i have been threw.
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Old 02-08-2014, 10:26 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by jessiiccaa90 View Post
I have almost 100 days sober and haven't starting working steps or anything because i haven't found a sponsor. I feel like i need one who will understand me being a lesbian and things i have been threw.
Hi Jessilccaa90, welcome to SR and our corner of it.

Sorry for the delay in replying, things run a bit slow down here compared to other areas of the forums.

Congrats on your sober time. I am glad to see that you realize that the Steps are an essential part of the AA program and are ready to get to work on them. I completely understand that feeling of needing someone who understands the things that I have gone through as a lesbian as they are different than a straight woman goes through. I felt the same way but I found that in the beginning it worked well for me to just find someone that I trusted, she did not happen to be gay, and do my 5th Step with her. Up to that point I was working the Steps on my own. No that is not the ideal way to do them and I really don't recommend it but it can be done. I have found that since then I have had to learn that there is more to the Steps than just doing them once and being done, they are something that are to be applied to ones everyday life and problems in it. I was 7 years sober before someone explained that to me. Maybe I would have learned that earlier had I done them with a sponsor in the first place, I don't know.

I would recommend trying to find some LGBT meetings in your area. Most larger cities have them, I know the one I live in does. You might find you are more comfortable there and are able to find a sponsor that way. There are also people who do online sponsorship, I am not sure exactly how it works though. What worked for me when looking for a sponsor was to look for the person who had what I wanted in sobriety. What I mean by that is the person whom I could see was working the program of AA and the program of AA was working in their life in such a way that it appealed to me personally and was what I wanted in my life. I don't know if that makes sense or not.

Anyway, congrats again on you sober time. Take care
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Old 02-08-2014, 02:55 PM   #3 (permalink)
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I totally feel u Jessica. I can't get to gay meetings. The ones are a bit too far without a car. I don't think a straight man will get me either.
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