asking for help
Hello, I just registered this evening so that I could gain some perspective/ask for advice.
My girlfriend and I have been together for a year now and I have been there with her through her recovery (opiate addiction). She relocated after going through detox in order to ensure her recovery, but went to back to her prior state to visit family. I was with her shortly, and had to return home.
She has been concerned for months that having to be there would lead to relapse. This afternoon, she accidentally (could it have been intentional?) sent me a text, after having told me she was feeling ill and was taking a nap, about where to meet. It was obvious that she had been lying, and when she finally returned my call, she told me that she had gone to meet someone to "pick up" but that she decided against it once she realized her mistake.
I don't know what to do, I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I don't believe that she didn't use. I know I am not supposed to make her feel guilty. She is supposed to be coming to stay with me tomorrow.. I've told her not to come, that I need time to sort out my feelings but I want desperately to see her. I feel disappointed and numb. I don't want to risk her relationship with her family/friends, I feel I can't confide in anyone.
What I want is someone to talk to, to tell the entire story of what she's been through, and what we've been through together. I want to know if it's possible that I could believe her, but I know in my gut that she's relapsed.
I know that this is unlikely, but are there support numbers (hotlines) available? I feel like I need someone to confide in. I should have been going to meetings all along, I'm just worried about people finding out that she/I have these problems. That fear is not helpful.
Thank you for listening.