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Old 03-19-2013, 03:21 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Poppers A Slip, Right?

Hi I am a newcomer with nearly a year of sobriety in aa. I recently met someone to start dating in the program. Things are going very well and very slowly. We got to talking recently about poppers however. Though this guy has nearly 7 years time, He confessed to me that he sometimes uses poppers during sex.

I am confused about what to do. I don't want to tell him how to live his life and work his program. I'd like to keep seeing him, however poppers are not part of my program. Need help.
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Old 03-19-2013, 05:19 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Your programme comes first. Talk to this guy about it, and bring up your fears and concerns.

I've been dating quite a lot lately, and most of the guys who end up coming to my place bring something to drink. Though I could date teetotalers only, after some self-debate I chose to just let the whole matter be. In fact, right now there is a bottle of something (vodka?) in my fridge.

I'm not condoning poppers but, if you really do like him, maybe you could... carry on and let him do whatever he likes. If he thinks that poppers are okay, then that's his business. However if you feel that your programme is in jeopardy, then act accordingly.

Keep us posted, welcome to SR!
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Old 03-20-2013, 03:44 AM   #3 (permalink)
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I don't see this as a problem. You did not say you wanted to have sex with him. So if not. Not a problem.

Now if you do, this is not a recovery problem but a bedroom problem. Who knows. He could do other things in bed that are undesirable.

Finding my way in early recovery is hard enough without worrying about someone elses use of substances. Regardless of the substance. If he were sneaking pot in his program same thing.

For anyone and everyone you meet. Protect what you are doing no matter what. Put you first. Set boundaries early. Set this boundary soon. Simply ignore the poppers use until sex is the issue and not recovery.

My best to you!

K
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Old 03-20-2013, 04:36 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Thank you for sharing. As a member of AA
for the past 22 yrs, every now and then a
new word or slang pops in that Im not familiar
with. Even when I first entered recovery and
spent 28 days in rehab back in 1990, I was
pretty nieve at to what all was available in
the way of drugs.

Here I see the word poppers and had not heard
of it before. Can you share what it is for us nieve
members please?
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Old 06-17-2013, 05:29 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by drsteer1 View Post
Hi I am a newcomer with nearly a year of sobriety in aa. I recently met someone to start dating in the program. Things are going very well and very slowly. We got to talking recently about poppers however. Though this guy has nearly 7 years time, He confessed to me that he sometimes uses poppers during sex.

I am confused about what to do. I don't want to tell him how to live his life and work his program. I'd like to keep seeing him, however poppers are not part of my program. Need help.

Poppers are so stupid, I dont get how they even got popular. That being said, your sobriety comes first and you can let him know how his use of them makes you feel, and if he isnt open to NOT doing it, then move on.
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Old 06-17-2013, 07:48 AM   #6 (permalink)
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@ aasharon-
I had no idea what they were either. Looked it up on Wikipedia. Still cant explain for sure what they are. (I am 36 so I guess I am out of touch also...lol). Not sure how to describe them still but, something like a sexual stimulant I guess......... Jess
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Old 06-17-2013, 08:17 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Here is an explanation of what poppers do Do Poppers Make Gay Sex Better?
They don't work on women btw and yes like Weasel said: "Who knows. He could do other things in bed that are undesirable". Poppers are often used by men who are into sadomasochism.
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