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|03-19-2013, 04:21 PM||#1 (permalink)|
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: New York, NY
Poppers A Slip, Right?
Hi I am a newcomer with nearly a year of sobriety in aa. I recently met someone to start dating in the program. Things are going very well and very slowly. We got to talking recently about poppers however. Though this guy has nearly 7 years time, He confessed to me that he sometimes uses poppers during sex.
I am confused about what to do. I don't want to tell him how to live his life and work his program. I'd like to keep seeing him, however poppers are not part of my program. Need help.
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|03-19-2013, 06:19 PM||#2 (permalink)|
Join Date: Feb 2008
Blog Entries: 9
Your programme comes first. Talk to this guy about it, and bring up your fears and concerns.
I've been dating quite a lot lately, and most of the guys who end up coming to my place bring something to drink. Though I could date teetotalers only, after some self-debate I chose to just let the whole matter be. In fact, right now there is a bottle of something (vodka?) in my fridge.
I'm not condoning poppers but, if you really do like him, maybe you could... carry on and let him do whatever he likes. If he thinks that poppers are okay, then that's his business. However if you feel that your programme is in jeopardy, then act accordingly.
Keep us posted, welcome to SR!
If it's a question of faith: Do you love or do you hate?
"Counting days is for prisoners" - Scott
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|03-20-2013, 04:44 AM||#3 (permalink)|
A simple guy making his way
Join Date: Apr 2012
Blog Entries: 38
I don't see this as a problem. You did not say you wanted to have sex with him. So if not. Not a problem.
Now if you do, this is not a recovery problem but a bedroom problem. Who knows. He could do other things in bed that are undesirable.
Finding my way in early recovery is hard enough without worrying about someone elses use of substances. Regardless of the substance. If he were sneaking pot in his program same thing.
For anyone and everyone you meet. Protect what you are doing no matter what. Put you first. Set boundaries early. Set this boundary soon. Simply ignore the poppers use until sex is the issue and not recovery.
My best to you!
You cannot see your strengths, but you gain confidence in their existence as they enable you to act.
And the results of your actions you can see.
|03-20-2013, 05:36 AM||#4 (permalink)|
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Thank you for sharing. As a member of AA
for the past 22 yrs, every now and then a
new word or slang pops in that Im not familiar
with. Even when I first entered recovery and
spent 28 days in rehab back in 1990, I was
pretty nieve at to what all was available in
the way of drugs.
Here I see the word poppers and had not heard
of it before. Can you share what it is for us nieve
"A FRIEND IN NEED IS A FRIEND INDEED"
Baton Rouge, La.
I turn my will and life over to the care of a Power greater than I on a daily bases for guidance, care and protection.
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|06-17-2013, 06:29 AM||#5 (permalink)|
Nothing is impossible!
Join Date: Jun 2013
Poppers are so stupid, I dont get how they even got popular. That being said, your sobriety comes first and you can let him know how his use of them makes you feel, and if he isnt open to NOT doing it, then move on.
|06-17-2013, 08:48 AM||#6 (permalink)|
Join Date: May 2012
Blog Entries: 70
I had no idea what they were either. Looked it up on Wikipedia. Still cant explain for sure what they are. (I am 36 so I guess I am out of touch also...lol). Not sure how to describe them still but, something like a sexual stimulant I guess......... Jess
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|06-17-2013, 09:17 AM||#7 (permalink)|
Behold the power of NO
Join Date: Jan 2013
Here is an explanation of what poppers do Do Poppers Make Gay Sex Better?
They don't work on women btw and yes like Weasel said: "Who knows. He could do other things in bed that are undesirable". Poppers are often used by men who are into sadomasochism.
"Nobody realizes some people expend tremendous energy to be normal."
|09-30-2014, 12:40 AM||#8 (permalink)|
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: United States
Yes poppers would be drug use. I have never used Amyl/poppers but I have known men who have. Some said it was like sniffing glue but it's a sex drug that does not last long.
The bi and gay men I know who were around in the 70s or early 80s before HIV/AIDS said how people used them as a sex drug, and sniffed them while dancing at clubs or bars. They also said some people would huff/sniff ethyl chloride as an alternative to Amyl/poppers.
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|09-30-2014, 06:06 AM||#9 (permalink)|
Join Date: Jun 2009
I would say it's drug use.
(Don't work on women? Well, they do on THIS one!) :-)
6.1.2009: The first day of the rest of my life.
Mfanch: Pragmatic non-theist living happy and free as a result of practicing the 12 steps.
"Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars." - Kahlil Gibran
|09-30-2014, 06:34 AM||#10 (permalink)|
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
And for ones who take sobriety seriously,
they stay far away from ones using things such as this.
Let's not deceive ourselves (yet again).
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|amyl, poppers, relapse, slip|
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