Welcome to SR and to the GLBTQ forum. Glad you are here.
I came out later in life, got sober later in life and was also married. I was actually married and divorced twice before coming to terms with who I am. I wish I had some wonderful words of wisdom to pass along but I am still a work in progress myself. What I can share is my experience and hope that somehow that helps you.
I have learned there is a freedom in no longer feeling like I am living a lie by having to pretend to be straight to make others happy. Today I just live as who I am and if someone asks me directly about my sexuality I answer them directly. I don't go out of my way to pretend to be straight and will never marry someone of the opposite sex just because it makes my family or others in society more comfortable. I like no longer having to feel like a liar and knowing I can not trust myself because I am living a lie. For me coming out was the right thing to do. For some I suppose it is not. I am sure that is an individual thing.
As far as sobriety goes I have no regrets and can honestly say it is the best thing that has happened to me and the people that care about me. As long as I am sober there is hope that life will get better.
As far as relationships. I struggled with relationships partly because when I first started coming out I was living in a small town in the South. Not many out gay people there and the out ones did not want anything to do with a early 30's, never been with a woman, person with 3 young children. But I did start making friends in the GLBT community. Once I had friendships established then I found a romantic relationship. Unfortunately that relationship only lasted a few years. When it ended I found some GLBT chat rooms and met some people through there. A relationship formed and I wound up moving to a much more populated area of the Country. That relationship was doomed from the start for several reasons but it was because of that relationship I found sobriety and AA. It was through sobriety and AA that I found what I believe is the person I was meant to be with. We have been together now coming up on 12 years. So my experience is that relationships in the GLBT community can be just as good or as bad as between heterosexual couples and it takes time and patience to find the right person.
There have been some good suggestions made by people posting prior to me such as "an online type dating website", "gay men's social clubs", "LGBT NA/AA meeting groups", and "be true to yourself." This site is also a good place to get to know other people in the GLBT community. My experience has been that networking with friends is a good way to meet potential dating partners. People do exist in the GLBT community the problem is that we are still fighting our way out of the closet so it can sometimes be hard to find us. But don't give up on us or yourself. Keep reaching out, work on developing friendships and see where those lead you. Who knows that friend you make today may be the person who introduces you to the love of your life.