Where, where, where?

[GonzoTaxi]

Where am I supposed to meet other gay people now that I am sober?! I feel like, from a statistical standpoint, the odds are stacked against us. There are only so many gay people so really the most efficient thing is to gather in groups, which usually takes place in bars, which leads to the problems we all know and don't love.

So guys, suggestions? Where can I meet gay people NOT in a bar?!

x

[catallus]

One possible place to start may be gay social clubs in your area. I managed to find one in my area that meets once a week and is active in other LBGT activities, as well. From these activities, depending on how social and comfortable you feel, you can choose the events and peeps that interest you.
Not all events and people are alcohol free, but you should meet a wide range of people in which you may spread your wings....

[Mattcake]

Hi Gonzo,

The best advice I've received is, basically, to get a life: start doing things that you enjoy (outside your home, obviously) get involved in activities that interest you... who knows what might happen ;-) Uhmm... yes gay people do tend to go to bars but they don't live in them, they're out in the wild most of the time, lol.

Also, work on your self esteem. I'm weird in the sense that I'm introverted yet very outgoing, and if someone catches my eye (and looks back of course, showing interest) I go for it. Strike up a conversation. It's fun... actually, this used to be one of my pastimes, but I'm in a dry period right now of self-imposed celibacy.

Anyway, I hope this helps.

Salut!

[Mo S]

good question! I ended up doing a web sesrch on gay activities and organizations in my local area. I found alot was going on in my city and driving distance away. Then, I developed close friendships with some amazing straight people. My best to you and good luck.

[utopia]

gonzo, the internet can be a place to meet some people but just be careful. i think it helps to know what you are looking for because there are a lot of players out there. do you want love or just a fling?

if you do more activities in your life usually theres someone who has a friend and maybe it might lead to something, pray to let it go to God and something will turn up when u are ready, either that or some issue to work through, at least u can do something else for fun while you wait or process.

bars/clubs? prob not the best for those affected by alcoholism lol. the lure of the familiar was always an illusion in my past and not what my HP was guiding me to perhaps

i find a big thing is to love yourself, take yourself to the movies, read in the park, have a hot date with you, you'll at least be living a bit more.

[Mo S]

oh- just wanted to add: there are several cities in my area that hold fun gay pride events and fundraisers all year long. And i joined a gay bowling league. Alot of fun to watch the guys prance down the alley (sorry- couldnt help myself there - forgive me!) I made a couple of good friends tho i suck at bowling and we came in last place lol.

[Taking5]

You cannot meet gay people in Paris? This is a joke right?

[Mattcake]

Originally Posted by dgillz

You cannot meet gay people in Paris? This is a joke right?

That's exactly what I was thinking while I was answering his post, LOL. Cheers!

Gonzo, no offense intended!

[GonzoTaxi]

Originally Posted by dgillz

You cannot meet gay people in Paris? This is a joke right?

LOL!!! Touché!

Unfortunately there seems to be less of a penchant for niche organizations or sports leagues here than what I've seen with my friends in NY for example (with all the gay dodgeball teams and stuff).

I do go on a lot of "dates by myself" but I'm not really into approaching dudes on the street because I'd rather not accidentally hit on a straight guy and get into a potentially dangerous situation with a stranger. And of course everyone in France looks gay anyway, so.... (haha, okay my turn to snark!).

Perhaps it might have something to do with my age. I'm relatively young (just turned 27) and I feel like a lot of the guys in that range who maybe should be getting sober haven't quite come to that conclusion yet. Especially in the gay community where I find binge drinking and prolonged adolescent is more acceptable/common even as most people are growing out of their days of wine and roses phases.

I've written on my Manhunt profile that I'm looking for running partners, so maybe that will bear fruit too.

If all else fails I'll just print a t-shirt that says "COME AND GET ME BOYS" and see how that goes over. Thanks for the advice fellas!

xG

[Mattcake]

When I was in my 20s, during my dry periods, I tended to date much older guys, as I could connect with them more easily than with people my age. When I was drinking it was a free for all. Now in my early 30s, it seems like we've caught up with one another (my theory is that turning 30 is a sobering and traumatic experience that forces guys to grow up)

Uhmm... You're supposed to use your gaydar when checking out men in the streets, of course I obviously wasn't suggesting that you hit on any random guy that caught your eye, LOL. Check out, gaydar, connect, approach. I admit that I've never done that with Parisian men, but that's cos I'm always a tourist and we all know how that goes, lol.

Off topic, I absolutely love French gay-themed movies. Where to begin, so many to choose from!.. Les Roseaux sauvages, Grande Ecole, Le Plus Bel Age, Le Clan of course, Le Fil... anything starring Salim Kechiouche (yum)...A cause d'un garcon I used to be crazy about Gael Morel. Maybe I should review a couple in the other thread.

[utopia]

on this topic, its a reason i sometimes think i dont leave my bf. because of the fear to be in this situation, alone and so hard to find someone sincere, its lke the whole gay thing makes a nother layer of difficulty in having the esteem to leave and stand on my own

[Mattcake]

Utopia, I'm in the exact opposite situation, I've been alone for years, and love it! Independence, doing as I please, flirting (my favourite pastime after reading lol)... back in my drinking days "being" with different people (though not anymore, I'm on a self-imposed celibacy period and adhering to it quite well, it helps to know that sex is so easy to find).

I can relate to what you wrote, though, what is NOT easy to find is someone sincere and honest. I don't take lies well, betrayal is grounds for instant breakup, no excuses - it's the one thing I'm not willing to compromise in any relationship.

[utopia]

I met a guy at a dancing/movement group last night so maybe try things like that gonzo, things where ppl try to express themselves in someway.

of course im home again and didn't do anything silly. but im sit pondering if being a monk would be so bad, no, maybe a hermit lol