LGBT AA Groups

[BlueEyedBoy]

Hi everyone,

I attend a few AA meetings regularly, but once a week I go to an LGBT AA group. Of all the groups I attend I find this to be the most welcoming and useful. I have met some amazing friends there too. There have been one or two times I have felt people have been 'inappropriate' towards me, but this is usually people who are very new (newer than even I!)

I was wondering if anyone else attends any lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans groups, and your thoughts on them?

[nandm]

I have attended a few LGBT AA groups over the years but never on any regular basis. I primarily attend regular AA meetings as my experiences with the LGBT groups were not extremely positive.

My experience, which I have to say is quite limited to only about 4 meetings total and it has been more than 8 years since I tried one, has been that I felt like I was in a meat market and back in high school because it felt so clique'. No one spoke to my partner or I or welcomed us. We were stared up and down by several people, like one would have done in a bar setting. As far as the quality of the message of the meeting I honestly can not remember as I felt so uncomfortable from the way we were looked at and treated when we came into the room. I would like to say this was an experience with just one group but it was with two separate groups and a couple of meetings at both.

I do have to say though that I was still fairly young in recovery and in the process of being more out when I attended these meetings so I may have felt a bit self conscious which may have intensified or exaggerated my perceptions of what happened in these meetings. I know today if I went into a meeting and felt that way I would walk up to people and talk to them rather than wait for them to talk to me. I have learned that often times people are not trying to be rude when they don't welcome you in a meeting but rather they themselves have difficulty with reaching out and once you start them talking they are actually quite warm and welcoming people. Also as far as the feeling of being in a bar, "meat market", that would flow off my back today because I realize now that many of those that probably did that were very new to sobriety and some people that are early in sobriety try to fill that hole that is left when alcohol is gone with a relationship or sex so it probably had little to do with me or my partner and more to do with where they were at in life and their sobriety.

Probably the only reason I do not attend GLBT meetings today is that I found a home group 8 years ago and that is where I attend my regular meetings. It is not because I am opposed to attending a GLBT meeting and would consider trying one again but doubt I would change from the established home group I have.

[catallus]

Hey now,

I finally found a couple LGBT groups that are relatively close (one is 30 minutes away and the other is 55 minutes away). The closer one is so friendly and program oriented that I have made it my home group. There are so many willing speakers and discussion speakers that the message is delivered weekly without fail.

The further one, after 4 weeks attending, ~80 miles round trip, I stopped going to because I did not feel comfortable there at all. Not that it was cliquish, but more so the people either did not know each other or did not like each other. Talking - and the message - was strained.

However, I have also found straight meetings that I did not like because of cliques, or attitudes, or just a general run-of-the-mill uneasy feeling. So, for me, I've found it doesn't matter whether a meeting is gay or straight; I keep searching for different meetings because I need to be comfortable at the meetings I attend - finding a comfortable meeting is like finding the right glove; it's important that I feel warm and cozy and fit right in...

[Isaiah]

I don't seek them out, but I go to them where it's convenient.

The few I've been to always felt a little more light-hearted and carefree than non-specific meetings. Yet, there also always seemed to be one or a few people talking malicious gossip... chalk it up to LGBT being a small community at times. That's the only thing I've noticed that's different.

[gymdude]

I'm new to all this, and have only been to 2 meetings with the same gay AA group. I must have lucked out, because I found it extremely friendly and not nearly as cliquish as I would have thought. I immediately hit it off with one guy, who became my sponsor and has been awesome. From what I gather of other groups, this one may be a tad lighter and less formal.

[CuteNGayYay]

ive been looking for them and actually nervous too to go to one cuz of the clique thing.. but I really think I need to try it out as it will probably be closer to home. Anyone near me in Cerritos, CA? :P