Gay adults coming out and mental health/substance abuse study.

[nandm]

Gay Adults Rejected by Parents Have Worse Health, Study Finds
Massachusetts survey found most lesbians, gays, bisexuals received emotional support from parents
April 13, 2012 RSS Feed Print

FRIDAY, April 13 (HealthDay News) -- Receiving emotional support and acceptance from parents benefits the long-term health of lesbian, gay and bisexual adults, a new study shows.

About three-quarters of lesbian, gay and bisexual adults aged 18 to 64 surveyed in Massachusetts said they had revealed their sexual orientation to their parents, typically when they were about 25 years old. About two-thirds said their parents were supportive.

Rates of mental health and substance-abuse problems were significantly lower among those who received support from their parents than among those who felt rejected, the study found.

For example, gay and bisexual men who felt rejected by their parents had a six to seven times increased risk of binge drinking and serious depression, while lesbian and bisexual women whose parents did not support them had a fivefold increased risk of serious depression and an 11-fold increased risk of illicit drug use.

While "coming out" was generally associated with better overall health for lesbian and bisexual women, this was not the case for gay and bisexual men, according to the study published in a recent issue of the Journal of Homosexuality.

"It's possible that the stress of not disclosing your sexuality to your parents affects men and women differently," study leader Emily Rothman, an associate professor of community health sciences at Boston University School of Public Health, said in a university news release.

"In general, gay and bisexual men may be able to conduct their sexual lives apart from their parents with less stress. On the other hand, it's also possible that this was an artifact of our particular sample," she noted.

"Given the high rates of suicide and self-harm among lesbian, gay and bisexual (LGB) youth -- and the high costs of treating mental health and substance-abuse disorders -- it's critical that we understand what we can do to promote better health for LGB kids," Rothman added.

Nicole Sullivan, a 22-year-old student at Bunker Hill Community College who came out as bisexual two years ago, said she wasn't surprised by the findings.

"I struggled with mental health and drug problems during my adolescence, and I know that some of it is because I didn't feel accepted at home," Sullivan said in the news release. "I am really grateful that I had cousins who supported me, and it's because of them that I was able to get healthy."

Source: Gay Adults Rejected by Parents Have Worse Health, Study Finds - US News and World Report

So what are your thoughts on this article? Do your experiences support their findings? Did you have a positive or negative experience when coming out to your parents? Do you feel that being in the closet feeds alcoholism/addiction? I would love to hear your thoughts and experiences.

I am going to post my response and thoughts on the article in a reply to this.

...

[nandm]

This study was intriguing to me as an alcoholic. There were several key points that caught my interest.

“About three-quarters of lesbian, gay and bisexual adults aged 18 to 64 surveyed in Massachusetts said they had revealed their sexual orientation to their parents, typically when they were about 25 years old”

Ironically, I did not come out until I was I was around 28 years old. Until then I felt so much pressure to stay in the closet that I just tried to survive there and fit into the heterosexual world. My parents were and are Christians so I felt they would not accept me and would not love me if they found out I was gay. I actually did not come out to my mother until after I had been sober for several years. By then I was nearly 40 years old and had been with my partner for five years. I do have to say that although my mother was overly supportive she did not turn her back on me or try to guilt me about who I am when I came out to her. It did take her until this past year for her to recognize my partner and we have been together nearly 11 years now so clearly she struggles with my being gay.

“...gay and bisexual men who felt rejected by their parents had a six to seven times increased risk of binge drinking and serious depression, while lesbian and bisexual women whose parents did not support them had a fivefold increased risk of serious depression and an 11-fold increased risk of illicit drug use.”

This probably does not apply to me in the context of the article since it deals with the rates of mental health and substance-abuse problems and support/non support from family when coming out but it did get me thinking as I read the article about how being in the closet affects the rates of mental health and substance-abuse rates. My personal experience is that I think being in the closet fed my alcoholism. The fear, shame, self hatred, anger at God for making me this way, anger at society for their treatment of the GLBT community, and just anger in general I think all fed the cycle of my disease of alcoholism and depression. For me getting sober and coming out of the closet has been a parallel journey. The stronger I became in my sobriety the more strength I felt in my acceptance of who I am as a whole which included being gay. I no longer feel that fear, shame, self hatred, and degree of anger. I think being able to come out of the closet and let go of those things also helps keep me sober because if I still held all that inside it would eat me alive and make it more difficult for me not to drink at those feelings.

[DesperadoBlond]

Hi Nandm,

Interesting study!

Being a 29-year old gay male, I can relate.

I came out to my mother when I was 19. Her response was along the lines of "let's not tell your father or he will kill me (kill her, my mother)."

I moved abroad and was living away from my own country for 10 years. Studies, work etc. We never really talked about the whole gay issue since.

I do think that having to hide and having to pretend and proove (to my father all these years) that I am normal and straight and not an embarrassment to the family has definitely had a lot of negative effects on my self esteem and the way I see myself.

I did descend into some quite heavy duty mental problems and alcohol abuse during my last 2-3 years abroad. It also had to do with work, but deep down I guess I am very angry and bitter really towards my parents for not supporting me for being who I am and treating it as something shameful. "Oh my god, you will bring such shame on your father's family."

We are, apart from this stuff, a very close knit family and my parents would call me like twice every day stressing me about my career.

Finally I got so sick I actually had to come home to them to live again at 28. I was living abroad and the foreign country and didn't have the kind of insurance that would be needed to foot the bills for treating all my problems. Vicious cycle anyone?

Today, I am struggling to scrape together enough money to move back out. So yes, I do think that being treated as a shameful secret and not feeling loved suddenly anymore by your parents can take a toll on a person's mental health.

[DesperadoBlond]

Oh, and interestingly enough, I just spoke to a doctor on the phone yesterday who is trying to get me referred to a psychiatrist.

I told her that my main mental issue is really feeling so depressed about the situation with my parents. And that I am an alcoholic.

The doctor responded something like: "Hmmm, well I don't know you or your background at all, but from what I hear from you, it isn't very far fetched to assume that your alcohol abuse is related to the homophobia situation with your parents."

[Bamboozle]

My parents don't completely understand, but society certainly has made it tough for me and others like me. Where I live is not very accepting or even tolerant.

And the phrase "in the closet" bothers me for two reasons. Society expects everyone to go along with the heterosexual "norm" and there is pressure from other gay and bisexual people to be out all the time no matter what. The only people putting me in a closet are the ones who assume I'm straight and the ones who think that I'm doing gay wrong.

Society is the source of my woes--it was liberating to finally accept that my depression and resulting addiction are not my fault (Yeah, I said it. Addiction is not my fault, nor is the depression). No wonder people who get treated sub-human have mental illness/issues and/or addiction. It makes perfect sense to me. I never was the one with the problem, but society barfed all over me and now I'm the one who has to clean up.

I have hope that I'll be able to move out of where I currently live so that I can find a place to call home. I love my family, but I have no love for my current geographical location.

[Mo S]

I came out to my parents when i was 19. I was in my first couple of monthes of recovery. My parents werent supportive of me in other ways so my mother's anger at not having grandchildren in the future was the least of my concerns. I suspect they did kick me out of the house because i was gay- it all worked out for the best in the end.My main focus was AA recovery.

Interesting studies. I think the next generation and the one after that wil have a much better time of it with more parental support. Society has come a long way just sine Ive been out....hopefully that trickles down to family support tho i knew a few alcoholics many years ago who stated it was THEIR own acceptance of their sexuality that fueled their drinking. Good topic!