Getting involved with someone in AA....

[Mo S]

Can I just tell you how GRATEFUL I am that I moved away from my hometwon- 1000 miles away ? In NY i had been involved with a handful (I'm not a ***** really!) of woman who all atteded the very popular gay meeting in town. It was so uncomfortable to see these ex'es at this meeting. Everyone had slept with everyone it was almost incestuous. Mind you, this didnt happpen inm a short amont of time. It was over the course of 20 some odd years....but still. I shudder when I think of what I put myself thru when I went. I am not the type that is all "buddy buddy" with an ex. So, I am very grateful to have lived thru that.

Also, honestly, I am sharing this post so I can meet my quota and start to be able to use all the features here. Typcal alcoholic....if i can find my way around the rules.....hmmmm..

[Mo S]

Feel free to reply so i can reply to your reply!

[Redmayne]

Whilst I can empathise with your position, not that it happened to me. In my case, I'm referring to the notorious British 'class' system. Whilst I wouldn't advocate geographical moves as providing a 'cure' for alcoholism, there's great benefits in having the choice of meetings to attend that don't hold memories of the past, or involve,'personalities before principles'

I think I was very naive, not in my knowledge of alcoholism or the road to recovery when I attended AA meetings in the area I live in, that ,'goes with the territory'. More for the simple reason , altho' myself,'working class' and raised in relatively poor, humble circumstances. Other than in my professional life, it was my first encounter with working class people, born and raised in the northern mill towns that surround, Manchester, known as ,'Cottonopolis' the home of the now defunct cotton industry, which had bred not only an industry, but a class of people with their own identity and culture, so ingrained it remains, even today. I might have been,'working class' but I was an 'offcomer' not to be welcomed or trusted, a classic case of ,'personalities before principles'. In the end, it drove me away from meetings, which is why I'm so grateful for SRC.

Thre's little room for this in AA, and I for one am pleased you've been able to move, I'm sure it's benefited your recovery.

I don't understand the reference to quotas, though?

[Mo S]

you have to meet a certain number of posts to send visitor messages(just met that one) and upload pics into an album . I want to post some of my artwork in my album but i cant do that til i meet the number. thanks for replying. Very interwsting to hear about your culture and experience. thank you.

[nandm]

Your post made me laugh. I can so relate to living in an area where it seems every gay person knows and has slept with every gay person. I lived in an area like that prior to getting sober. Although I can say I only slept with one person in that group as I came out late in life but my partner during that time had pretty much made the rounds with everyone I think and probably is making the for the second time around right now. I am so thankful to be out of that mess.

I too moved a substantial distance to get sober. I moved 2400 miles. Although technically I did not move to get sober as I was working on getting sober but moved for a long distance relationship that of course fell apart within a short time after my moving. But it all worked out because I am still sober and doubt I would be if I had been living where I was. Plus the bonus is I found my partner in AA and we have been together over 10 years now.

A good way to meet the quote is to review some of the old threads here and post comments on them where ever you feel you can. A good one is the book and movie review thread Matt started. Also please feel free to jump into any thread I have started as I always love fresh insight and input.

Take care and keep posting.

[catallus]

Hey Mo!

a 1000 miles - nice - so have you found meetings more suitable?
(I hope replying gets you that much closer to your albums.... )

[Mo S]

THANKS CATALLUS!

[catallus]