newbie - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

miamary05 · 10-11-2009, 09:42 PM

Hello all

I am new to this forum but not to SR.. I usually post on the substance abuse forum.. Not sure how active this forum is but I will give it a try.. I am 24 and a recovering heroin addict.. I have just about 5 months clean.. I have a girlfriend of 5 years (my first gf ever.. Been with guys all my life until she swept me off my feet) she is also a recovering addict and has 5 months clean.. When we meet I was already deep into my addiction and got her hooked.. We have been through alot but knew in order for our relationship to work we needed to get clean and stay clean.. Her getting clean and staying clean was a piece of cake.. she wasn't using for long and she doesn't have the addictive personality like I do.. She is great support for me..

Anyways I guess I am here for support and advice from anyone that has been in a relationship with their partner during and after the addiction.. We moved out to GA with her mother to get away from the city of drugs (as I call it) in Mass.. Her mother was not always accepting of our lifestyle.. but wanted us to move here I feel because she didn't want to lose her daughter.. After being here for some time she has become like a mother to me.. she has done more for me than my own mother would do.. but I feel like she still doesn't accept us for who we are.. She sees use kissing and hugging but did tell us to keep it down because her and her husband didn't like it.. although they make out.. but I'm guessing its ok for them because they are traditional (guy and girl) and whenever we talk about our future its a quick change of subject.. I get so frustrated about this and my gf doesn't want to say anything because she feels her mom will never understand or want to understand.. Being in this country town doesn't make it easier either.. I'm used to city life where there are gay and lesbians everywhere... here is nothing but true southerners.. I am so sick of the looks I get out in public.. esp. because my girlfriend is butch and dresses like a guy.. I haven't made any friends here because I feel that people look at me different..

I'm ready to say f**k it and get messed up but that won't solve anything.. I thought moving would be a new start in our life.. but it is challenge everyday..and I feel very alone and depressed here.. I sometimes think about moving back to the city but that would mean fighting off alot of temptation and I would probably end up relapsing.. I'm too early in recovery to risk it.. so instead I am alone.. my gf has been lucky and found a job but I have yet to find one.. so she is gone all day and I am stuck home doing nothing but stressing..anyways enough rambling.. I guess this is more of a vent than a question.. just wondering if anyone else has been through this.. and what have they done to deal with it..

Thank you for taking the time to read this post

MCake · 10-12-2009, 09:23 AM

Hi Miamary

I can't really offer insights from my own experience... but I do want to welcome you to this corner of SR =)

Sounds like your gf's mother is quite supportive, all things considered. Try to focus on recovery... hopefully things will get better for the two of you soon, in the meantime try to find things you're grateful for... and take one thing at a time

Keep us posted! And keep reaching out!

Bamboozle · 10-12-2009, 09:39 AM

Hi, miamary. No advice here, just wanted to say welcome.

indigo · 10-13-2009, 05:39 AM

You are really welcome here look forward to your posts.

10-11-2009, 09:42 PM	#1 (permalink)
miamary05 Still Learning.. Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 94 Blog Entries: 2	newbie Hello all I am new to this forum but not to SR.. I usually post on the substance abuse forum.. Not sure how active this forum is but I will give it a try.. I am 24 and a recovering heroin addict.. I have just about 5 months clean.. I have a girlfriend of 5 years (my first gf ever.. Been with guys all my life until she swept me off my feet) she is also a recovering addict and has 5 months clean.. When we meet I was already deep into my addiction and got her hooked.. We have been through alot but knew in order for our relationship to work we needed to get clean and stay clean.. Her getting clean and staying clean was a piece of cake.. she wasn't using for long and she doesn't have the addictive personality like I do.. She is great support for me.. Anyways I guess I am here for support and advice from anyone that has been in a relationship with their partner during and after the addiction.. We moved out to GA with her mother to get away from the city of drugs (as I call it) in Mass.. Her mother was not always accepting of our lifestyle.. but wanted us to move here I feel because she didn't want to lose her daughter.. After being here for some time she has become like a mother to me.. she has done more for me than my own mother would do.. but I feel like she still doesn't accept us for who we are.. She sees use kissing and hugging but did tell us to keep it down because her and her husband didn't like it.. although they make out.. but I'm guessing its ok for them because they are traditional (guy and girl) and whenever we talk about our future its a quick change of subject.. I get so frustrated about this and my gf doesn't want to say anything because she feels her mom will never understand or want to understand.. Being in this country town doesn't make it easier either.. I'm used to city life where there are gay and lesbians everywhere... here is nothing but true southerners.. I am so sick of the looks I get out in public.. esp. because my girlfriend is butch and dresses like a guy.. I haven't made any friends here because I feel that people look at me different.. I'm ready to say f*k it and get messed up but that won't solve anything.. I thought moving would be a new start in our life.. but it is challenge everyday..and I feel very alone and depressed here.. I sometimes think about moving back to the city but that would mean fighting off alot of temptation and I would probably end up relapsing.. I'm too early in recovery to risk it.. so instead I am alone.. my gf has been lucky and found a job but I have yet to find one.. so she is gone all day and I am stuck home doing nothing but stressing..anyways enough rambling.. I guess this is more of a vent than a question.. just wondering if anyone else has been through this.. and what have they done to deal with it.. Thank you for taking the time to read this post __________________ We Didn't Become Addicted In One Day, So Remember- Easy Does It* Life is about trusting* our feelings and taking chances losing and finding happiness, appreciating the memories and learning from the past*

10-12-2009, 09:23 AM	#2 (permalink)
MCake Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 2,261 Blog Entries: 8	Hi Miamary I can't really offer insights from my own experience... but I do want to welcome you to this corner of SR =) Sounds like your gf's mother is quite supportive, all things considered. Try to focus on recovery... hopefully things will get better for the two of you soon, in the meantime try to find things you're grateful for... and take one thing at a time Keep us posted! And keep reaching out! __________________ *Giving up doesn't always mean you are weak; sometimes it means that you are strong enough to let go. ~ Author Unknown*

10-12-2009, 09:39 AM	#3 (permalink)
Bamboozle I got nothin' Duck Hunt 2 Champion! Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: My house. Posts: 4,776 Blog Entries: 14	Hi, miamary. No advice here, just wanted to say welcome. __________________ A strange game. The only winning move is not to play.

10-13-2009, 05:39 AM	#4 (permalink)
indigo Community Greeter Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Mid-Life Express Posts: 9,928	You are really welcome here look forward to your posts. __________________ When you judge others, you do not define them, you define yourself." Namasté

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