Something that's been bothering me

[Bamboozle]

I really don't understand why people, especially gay people, are so quick to say that homophobes are probably gay.

Think about this for a minute.

This effectively places the blame for bigotry, violence, discrimination, etc. directly on the shoulders of gay people.

I don't buy it...and I'm pissed off that so many people mistakenly believe this to be true.


How convenient to blame a minority group for their woes. Gays aren’t the only ones who’ve had to deal with this line of BS reasoning. There are countless examples.

Most people when they talk about homophobia aren’t talking about fear…they’re talking about hatred.

Was I actually afraid of being gay? No…I was afraid of people who hate gay people. Big difference…and I never hated myself for being gay. The fear for the haters was pervasive, though. I’m proud to say I’m leaving that behind.

It’s time gay people stop blaming themselves for their predicaments and call people out on this BS whenever the subject comes up.

Ah...I'm fired up. I'm moving forward as best I can. I love having the attitude of "f*ck 'em if they hate me". It feels good.

[mattcake79]

I know a few homophobes who turned out to be gay - specifically, gays who hated themselves, and that's sad. I agree with what you're saying, though.

Whatever their orientation, there is one thing most (if not all) homophobes have in common: ignorance.

I think hatred stems from plain ignorance - like you said, not from fear (a typical excuse). It's very easy to be misinformed and thus make blanket statements based on blind prejudice. It's also inexcusable.

Nobody is perfect, of course, but (in)tolerance is an important issue; I think we all have a personal responsibility to take an informed stand. I doubt anyone will suffer due to my ignorance of... the process of remineralisation of deep sea water by Bacterioplankton. But people die every day as a direct consequence of ignorance, in the form of racism, homophobia, misogyny etc - and *that's* inexcusable.

Originally Posted by Bamboozle

Ah...I'm fired up. I'm moving forward as best I can. I love having the attitude of "f*ck 'em if they hate me". It feels good.

I like the tone of your post, Bam. Anger is very healthy and useful when expressed properly. Many people have barked at me for saying that, but so be it. Anger is so misunderstood; it is a valid and natural emotion that society -friends, therapists, gurus, parents, etc- tries to sugarcoat or disregard. We are usually told to swallow our anger because it's dangerous, unhelpful and uncivilised... a lesser, childish emotion that must be repressed.

Whatever.

The Chinese (whom I trust more than Freud) have a very simple definition of depression: unexpressed anger. IME, that's very accurate. Whenever I'm depressed, no amount of TLC, gentle words, or fake smiles help... but allowing myself to get angry -and turning that anger into drive and determination- usually gets me right back on track.

[Bamboozle]

Originally Posted by mattcake79

I know a few homophobes who turned out to be gay - specifically, gays who hated themselves, and that's sad. I agree with what you're saying, though.

Yeah, it does happen sometimes.


Thanks for your post, matt. I think acknowledging anger is important. It's a huge motivator for me...and I've been making positive changes because of anger...but not just because of anger. It's everything I've been feeling and thinking.

I'm deprogramming myself. Everything I've been told to think and believe is on the way out. I've been doing this for the last 8 years or so...but I think I've made a pretty big leap during the last few months.

[indigo]

I have got to the point about homophobes racists facists etc f*** em they they have no place in my world. Having said that I will stand proudly against standards that are not my own.

[hope3]

Good subject, I believe thier are no bad or good people...people make bad choices through fear which imho shows up as hate, racism, homophobe, colorphobe, religionphobe... my way or the highwayphobe...

I also think anger is a great emotion when harnessed I am motivated into action through it..
Hope and Love
Hope3

[Bamboozle]

Dang it...for some reason I can't post a new thread, so I'll put my thoughts for today here:



I feel good about myself today.

Not happy, or in a 'good mood', but very pleased with my thoughts.

I've been trying to diet. Bad idea. Bad idea for a lot of reasons...but it occurred to me that worrying about dieting was a way for me to avoid thinking about my problems. You know, if I can fix this then everything else will be fine. Not.

I've forgiven myself for drinking (still sober). I've forgiven myself for my foodie issues (don’t ask).

I'm not beating myself up at all. What a relief. I know how I got here...and it all goes back to how I handled societal bullsh!it when I was a child. I wish I could go back and give her a hug...to be there for her because there wasn't anyone else. My parents were great…but they couldn’t help…and didn’t know what was going on for the longest time.

I got pissed off at this person yesterday that I had to talk to before I can see a psychiatrist. He made a statement like this, "If I say 'I hate brunettes' that's the same thing as saying 'I hate gay people'." What he was trying to say is that all statements of hate are essentially the same and it's up to me as to how I react to them...I guess. I stopped him mid sentence and said, "They are definitely not the same. Being gay has social and political ramifications. Being brunette does not." Good thing he dropped it, or I would have gotten nasty.

I never would have stuck up for myself like that before. It’s taken me a long time to be able to do this. I’m proud of myself. I’m unraveling the knotted mess…undoing what was done to my brain before I had a chance to think for myself.

Oh yeah, how could I forget. I do have my issues with organized religion and I imagine I always will, but I finally realized that society’s hatred of rainbow people goes far deeper than that….it’s thoroughly engrained into culture. Big epiphany. Knowing this sucks…but it also helps. Thinking about what happened yesterday led me to get this.