What the hell did that mean

[cloud8]

Hay all, I recently took on a position at work as assistant manager, and im starting school soon to get my lic as a dietary manager, trying to set up a good future for myself and be responsible for the first time in years, lol. doing this has been very difficult, managing people ive worked with for the past 2 years, learning the paper work, having more responsibility then im used to.. and so on.. it was alot easier when all i had to do is show up do what was easy and go home. but doing that wont get me to a place i choose to go so i can travel, and enjoy some of the things in life i have had and lost due to my drinking and behaviors that go along with that, so im trying to be successful in my work just as i am in my program of living sober..But i have been questioning my choices im scared having to deal with people and decisions im facing defects and character flaws that otherwise i wouldn't have to, but i dont want to run from it, im trying to use the steps to deal with it. im insecure right now, and its driving me nuts.

so last night i go to a meting and some guy i know who is doing a play for a convention coming up wants me to addition for it, he is a play writer, and after hearing me speak at a meeting said i was a natural actor, wasn't sure how to take that..lol i mean i was being honest but its true im a bit of a drama queen, anyway i told him id love to do it but i had to work, and it would be next to impossible to make all the commitments i needed to and do the play,, his comment was WELL GOD JUST TOLD ME THAT MAYBE THIS NEW JOB INSET FOR YOU AND YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT MIGHT HAPPEN THERE MAY BE SOMETHING ELSE BETTER FOR U ELSEWHERE. my god now not only am i insecure about my choice to work as a manager and go to school, im thinking maybe im supposed to stop all of it and go be a actor with him,,

and this guy is sober double digit and telling me what god said to him for me to do.. truth is i feel like im being manipulated buy one more man again, what a world. my truth is id like to do the play, and keep doing the job, but im not willing to rearrange my schedule to fit the demands of the play.. is what he says right am i putting my job before my sobriety, and the program.. interesting question, any input would be appreciated..

and hay what if i dont do it and miss my chance at being a star..lol EGO ive got it in spades, more 4th step revelations,,lol i guess i should just continue trusting my higher power and stop listening to his, mine will always give me what i need when i need it, if its it meant to be someday ill be a star,, but whatever i grow up to be, one thing i hope for more then any of it is to remain sober one day at a time..

still a little crazy, but living life just the same..

[GoldenGutters]

Were we twins separated at birth? An oldtimer says something, no matter how absurd, and right away I internalize it and it becomes the "Word of God!" Take it from someone who had a sponsor who claimed to be the second coming...apparently Jesus smoked unfiltered Lucky Strikes...before he died. I was like a Moony for a while. It was quite sad....but he had double digit sobriety and seemed so serene...when he wasn't being a complete misogynistic ass, that is.

[freya]

Putting your job before his play is not the same thing as putting your job before your sobriety.....

He seems to be a little unclear about the fact that he is your sponsor, not your Higher Power!!!!!!

freya

[cloud8]

Originally Posted by freya

Putting your job before his play is not the same thing as putting your job before your sobriety.....


freya

He seems to be a little unclear about the fact that he is your sponsor, not your Higher Power!!!!!!
just to clear things up he is not my sponsor, and ur defenitly right he also isent my higher power, but when i think about it, thats another defect of character im trying to let go of, the way i allow others to be my higher power instead of relying on mine...thanks freya, its true my job is for now more important then a play even if it is about the 12 steps, and performed at a convention, although my ego would love to be in front of all my aa peirs showing off...lol

[HuskyPup]

Hmmm, interesting thread. I've never gone to an AA mmeting, have been to a SMART one a few times, but they are hard to find. The sponsor thing seems weird to me, having read this, as does the 'old-timer' syndrome.

Do they generally just come up and approach you? Seems kind of scary, all the odd motives that might be lurking about beneath the surface, and you, in a rather vulnerable state. I tend to think of the dynamics of relationships a lot, how groups 'work', the way social interactions operate. I can see where a sponsor might be prone to taking assigning him/her self any number of roles: savior, superior, guide, helper, doctor, preacher, coach, tough-guy, nice-guy, mr. know it all, and on and on. And then the one being sponsored might also play various roles: Victim (of an illness), patient, orphan(abandoned), student, traveler, bad-ass, smart-ass, and on and on.

I've never been able to wrap my mind around AA due to the book/steps, the way God turns up so much: I tried once what somebody said, black out the parts that did not help, and most of the book was like that: it seemed more like the structure that I had a problem with, not the parts, and it's hard to take what you want from a structure without the whole thing collapsing, if I can use a metaphor.

So I read about sponsors and all, and think I would like some person to person support....just not in a big book based way..........and am still searching.

Somebody said maybe agnostic AA, they do have gay AA here, too, but even there, the book part scares me.......

HP

[Bamboozle]

Originally Posted by cloud8

i told him id love to do it but i had to work, and it would be next to impossible to make all the commitments i needed to and do the play,, his comment was WELL GOD JUST TOLD ME THAT MAYBE THIS NEW JOB INSET FOR YOU AND YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT MIGHT HAPPEN THERE MAY BE SOMETHING ELSE BETTER FOR U ELSEWHERE.

This sounds super shady to me.

Most people would respond to what you said with a "That's okay...no worries" kind of phrase, not with a "supreme being and me had a conversation and perhaps this is good for you".

Maybe this new job is for you? If a supreme being told him...why did the supreme being say "maybe" and why didn't the supreme being talk to you?

I'd seriously question anyone's motives who fed me that line.

If he was hitting on you, why did he feel the need to take the long way around? Red flags...and I think you picked up on it:

Originally Posted by cloud8

truth is i feel like im being manipulated buy one more man again